Oh God. You know when you have one of those days when you somehow manage to piss everybody off? Not intentionally of course. Unwittingly I told Brandon that he should be glad he's never lived in Salida, Colorado. (Been there and didn't especially like it.) Anyway, turns out he did live there. And I ripped the place to shreds. I feel really bad. Then, I tell Steve that he should pray sometimes. I don't know why I said that, but he gets really uncomfortable with that stuff. And as a joke, I said, "Hall-le-looo-yah! God will wash you free of your sins!" Ahem ahem. He is so unamused with me right now. ("That's not even FUNNY Laurian.") He says I'm going to be struck down by lightning. As if on cue, a thunderstorm of ginormous proportions is raging outside right now. But nevertheless, Brandon, I'm going to try and make you feel better. Here is why:
- I grew up in a tiny little one-horse town for 18 years of my life. We had one supermarket and a couple of houses. The rest of the town is an old-age home. Seriously. It is home to the biggest old-age home in the southern hemisphere. Howick wasn't nick-named "The Departure Lounge" for nothing.
- Salida wasn't half as bad as Pueblo. Please don't say your aunt lived there.
- Hey, Salida is close to lots of the ski resorts, right?
- I'm planning to buy a trailer and go round the States with a bunch of my hicker mates and amble through the deep south. Seriously. We have the route mapped out and everything.
- I AM SO SORRY. Just think, you don't live in Salida anymore do you???? And you've turned out ok!
I need a smoke. Bad.