Thursday, January 20, 2005

large undies

Jo and I just got back from buying my boss, Nicole's, pampering presents for her kitchen tea party tomorrow. We all chipped in and bought a box, foot gels and scrubs, a pummice stone (it came with the foot stuff for free), cream, body butter, candles, Ferrero Rocher's, bubble bath, a face enormous pair of pants.
A pamper hamper would'nt be complete without a naughty pair of undies right? Unfortunately, how do I put this, Nicole is of the larger size. Oh fuckit, ok Nicole is frigging enormous. She's lovely, but she's big, ok? As luck would have it, all the things are green. And these pants, in XXL, are green too. With a green diamante diamond carefully etched onto the verrrry-stretchy material. We decided to cut the size tag out. Because although SHE knows she's an extra extra large, are we meant to know? I mean, to just ASSUME she's an XXL is a little presumptuous and decidedly un-PC. ("But you look like a small" is also just fat fibbing.) But they are quite huge. And the delicate diamante heart just seems wrong somehow.

We're thinking she won't even wear them. Eeew, but what if she does????


Ed Abbey said...

If I were to buy my boss foot gels, body butter, candles and an enormous pair of panties I would be unceremoniously kicked out the door and fired. Of course he is male and so am I. Should I buy him a beard trimmer, set of handtools and an enormous pair of boxers instead? I think I would end up the same place either way.

B said...

I wonder what would happen if you got your boss some condoms...? I have no idea. Thinking hurts tonight for me. The underwear... heh a unique idea. Perhaps she will wear them. Hopefully you won't get to see that happen, but yeah.