I am seething. The government has announced that it is formally demolishing Johannesburg's favourite icon: The Hillbrow tower. How could they even THINK of doing something so sacreligious? They must either all be smoking crack, or have syphilis and have gone completely mad. I'm not sure whether I should make myself a billboard and march in front of the supreme court chanting "Kill the president" or just cry, or just emigrate right now.
As I write, they are assembling a giant crane, of about 103 m adjacent to my fcavourite building in the whole world. Fuck!!!!! This is just pants!
On top of it, after submitting my passport to the Belgian consulate yesterday to get my visa for Europe, I have just recieved a phonecall to say that "I don't officially exist."
WTF? I say, incredulously, and spat out "Fuck You" in Flemish just to show them I'm serious with my pissed offness. Apparently, my own country has issued me with a fake passport. And I am not barcoded correctly, and henceforth am invisible to the European Union and other more competent places on this godforsaken Earth.
Everything I have written today is a lie. Happy April Fool's everybody. Let's hope I haven't jinxed myself now.