Thursday, February 22, 2007


Smoking Dick got back from the States yesterday. Imagine my surprise when he arrived on my doorstep, when I thought he was only returning at the end of the week.

As usual, I was looking amazing. As one always does, when caught by surprise.
Like that one time I stood on the back of an ex’s heel in stilettos (yeeouch) at the Manhattan Club completely by accident - and him whipping around in agony to 2:00am make-up sliding down my face, tangled hair, and a missing earring. All while making a not-so-sober attempt to dance like a cool person for once in my life.
(“I’m sho shorry, are you alri…oh hello. There.”)

Dick emerged just as I’d finished an epic cycle, had Chasy Chestnut hair dye setting in my crowning locks, and a blue face mask on.
Looking like strawberries and cream. One always fantasises that when you bump into an ex boyfriend, or when your dude returns from a faraway place, you’re looking like the beverage equivalent of a champagne kir. Not a warm cane and cream soda.

Well I was all wet and wrapped in a towel, so minus the blue face, it could’ve been worse. He took his shirt off to hug me because my hair had just emerged from the shower.

What a fantastic surprise – it was great to hold and kiss someone again. We went through a pretty darn rough patch before he left, and yesterday, all of that seemed distant and petty.
He also came bearing gifts. I fucking love presents. A Fossil watch! And a blingey Liz Claiborne silver initial (of my real name – P for Penelope of course) for my bag. They’re both beautiful, so I’m rather chuffed. Bless his motherlode of doondies.

Being relieved of a pent-up shag was also rather super.
Trivia question: What’s better than Make Up Sex?
Reunited Sex, that’s what.

Where you don’t want to be all sadomasochist due to pent up resentment, but rather just devour the person because you haven’t smelt their skin and, you know, done stuff with them for so long.

I managed to wash off the face mask before that moment, in case you were wondering.


kyknoord said...

Did you at least moon him and bellow, "Freeeeeeeedom" before washing off the face mask?

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - how did you know? ;)

Jam said...

Yay! This is the best news I've heard in weeks.

Urk said...

if you left the blue mask on, ya coulda had smurf sex.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - bless! :)

Urk - um...that's dead sexy. ;)

GoDsGiMp said...

Hey at least you shagged him till he was 'blue in da face' too.

Peas on Toast said...

Godsgimp - WellI wasn't throttling him if that's what you meant. ;) Just kidding.

Hot Pink Flush said...

Found myself smiling smuggly while reading this post...then realised I was living vicariously through you (again!) and it wasn't me getting the fantastic return sex. Awww.
So glad to hear it Peas...and yay for pretty blinging things (and happy returning boyfriends)
(and, while we're at it, awesome blue face masks that really get those deep seated blackheads!)

Dick said...

Yes bless that female imposed mother load of doondies. Mum and Pea, I am never run short these days ;) So how do I vote for you for SA blog awards? Did you vote for me ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Hot Pink - so great to see you yesterday my dear! Have to say that dress looks stunning. :)
And yay for blue face masks!

Dick - click on the widget/button at the top that says 'SA Blog Awards-Nominate me' :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Yeah for Reunited sex!!! ;)

And now you know why people become pilots, air hostesses, or just date people living in far off lands.

Antoine said...

reunited sex is fantastic. I was a happy participant on my return from the Jungle on Saturday.

The only issue was that the sleeping tablet I had taken on the plane had not worn off and I have absolutely no recall of the session at all.

Apparently it was really good.

(Mind you I still cannot recall going through customs, picking up my luggage or driving home)

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - hello chickie! And air hostesses have those special Mile High Club VIP cards, which has to be a bonus eh? ;)
Hope you've found the man in the purple suit, hunted him down and gangsta-slapped his ass.

Antoine - ok, that's hilarious. Thank God it wasn't the customs guy who woke you up and told you you'd had a great session eh? ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Brings a whole new idea to (Re)United Airways!

I ranted for 2 days straight, and had an incredible response. I seemed to have sparked a concern. But that particular man is not worth making my head ache.

Plus, I have had some french-inspired distraction. Reuniting airways. :)

Peas on Toast said...

If your post somehow manages to change the mindsets of the bad apples out there, then you've done a great job Champers. It would be great if that oke read it actually.

Dick said...

I'm not really a believer in the mile high club. Air hosts and hostesses are always up and doing stuff. Even in the middle of your plane flight night. First you need to get in undetected, then keep things quiet in that small amount of space? Not likely. I also happen to know that hosts and hostesses have a special key on their belts which opens the toilet doors from the outside, and believe they would feel little embarresment for exposing to horney passangers...
Peas, I've organized with Moogs for a Saturday morning ride. I told him you were in. He was stoked, and said it was time some work was done on his and your bovine hips;) you in?

Peas on Toast said...

Dick - aw what a pity. Does that mean it's out of the question for future flights? ;)

Definitely in for the cycle. Tell Moogs that if these bovine hips beat him to the end - which is looking likely these days might I add - he owes me a drink.
Tell him best he gets that spare tyre trimmed up! :)

Katie Possum said...

nothing beats reunited sex, especially after a couple of months (as i found out last year), but smurf sex (as urk says) would have been SUPER HOT!! ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Katie - kinky eh? Perhaps I'll paint both our bodies blue entirely. ;)

Katie Possum said...

or green, and then you can be the hulk!


Lollipop said...

Oh, something to look forward.

Saw my squeeze off at the airport this airport, but he won't be returning loaded with blingy gifts because they are sending him to deepest darkest Africa! Only thing he may be returning with is Malaria. *sigh and sulk*

Girls Night Tomorrow!

Parenthesis said...

Normally one boffs UNTIL one is blue in the face. I suppose you could approach it from the other direction too :)

Peas on Toast said...

Katie - woah, I'm getting all excited here. ;)

Lollipop - shame sweetie - let's hope he doesn't come back with malaria! And maybe some ...African crafts instead? ;)

Parenthesis - he he :)