I've been crying all night. And woke up crying today. Jesus, mascara everywhere, I look great this morning.
Unexpectedly, the most crucial wounds of my emotional life have been ripped open. So unexpectedly. It all started with Atonement last night.
I'm so angry, at those around me too. Which isn't even rational, because the source of these wounds is the one person I should feel anger at.
These horrible memories have been locked away on purpose, why the fuck would I want to address them now when they are behind locked doors?
I'm not sure anyone even really understands. So giving me advice about it, or telling me what to do with it, or how to be, or my responsibility with it now is PANTS.