Wednesday, June 04, 2008

cockles and mussles

Feck. I’ve only heard …’and singing cockles…and mussles…’ about 4 times in 3 days. Either live music or otherwise – I think I’ve heard the Molly Malone words (had a picture with her statue FYI) just as much. As far as patriotism is concerned, these Irish folk could give South Africans a run for their money.

God, thus far, Dublin has been wonderful.

For one, it’s euros. Not pounds anymore. That’s always cheaper.

For two, perhaps people don’t know this, or at least I didn’t, but Dublin is known for its Georgian doors. Doors that look like this basically, but all painted different bright colours:And like this:Or even like this:
In front of shops, pubs, houses, these doors are significantly Dublin.
Also, you don’t get too many high rise buildings here. Most buildings are never more than 4 or 5 stories.

There’s also a huge spire in the centre of town. Called Millennium Spire. It took over from a statue of a woman in a tub. (Can’t remember what her importance was). But she was known as the Floozie In The Jacuzzi. They took her away because she became a bit nefarious, 'Ta ting was tat people were trowing trash in tere.’

Until 2:00pm on Monday, me and a colleague from the Moscow office (I shit you not), me and this Russian dude, walked many of the sites. First it was Trinity College. Funny enough, I did my practical piano exams through Trinity College, but whatever. We walked through the amazing university and checked out the book of Kells and such.
Trinity is known for:
1) Being modelled directly on Oxford and Cambridge.
2) Having some of the richest literary treasures of our time stowed in the Long Library/Room – including book of Kells and much medieval and grand philosopher manuscripts there.
3) Up until 1973, it was apparently still biased towards protestant students. Although protestant rule was abolished in the 1700s, until about 30 years ago, the college preferred excepting Anglican students. You heard it here. From my guidebook, ok.

Then we did a couple of the grand gothic cathedrals in town – crossing over the Liffey River a few times – saw most of the beautiful architectural sites.

Then we gave up and drank whoring great whoppers of Guinness in the Temple Bar.

Mainly at the Quays Pub – which had live music all afternoon – a dude who sung Oasis and U2, bless him – and got a little pinted, like the rest of the Dublin population. It was sunny and beautiful outside, and a holiday after all.
My Irish mate joined me, and it just got more insane from there.

Thing is, and here’s the thing: I met a beautiful – blue eyed, dark-haired chap. This is what happened:

‘Oi would loike to buy yer a drink, yer up fer it?’
Peas: Sure sailor, amuse me. And talk lots please.

Chat chat, spade spade.

As time goes on, and Guinness is poured, he gets more and more tactile, things are progressing. He hugs me lots and licks my ear. Swear to Christ, he licks my fucking ear.

His hand is resting on my lower thigh. It’s a deal breaker, and it’s gonna be good.

Guinness is going down like a homesick mole.

He tells me he has a girlfriend. Shut the fuck up. All this FUCKING spadework for nothing, THIS is why I don’t spade people anymore. Even if they are gorgeous and spading me and are Irish and their accent is leaving me weak at the knees (although, what is he saying again?)

He tells me about his chick and I kind of focus my attentions elsewhere.
He then places his hand on my upper thigh.
Em…

‘Dude you have a girlfriend, seriously, give it up.’

‘No Oi’ve decoided I don’t have a girlfriend.’

Oh really. Just suddenly then.
Peas: So you called her up and broke up with her in the last 5 minutes?
Him: ‘I only met her last week. I want to go wherever you’re going.’

Tell you what, bring her here, and we can all party together.

‘No, she’s not my girlfriend, we met a week ago.’

Again, he licks me. This time on my cheek. Ew. For such a hot Irish lad, why oh why do I get the skin licking girlfriendiniser?

I mean, his single blue-eyed brown haired wingman was hot, why such a crummy choice? I should’ve sat next to his wingman not him.

He carried on and after another Guinness (how many, God knows), I look down and he’s gripping onto my hand. Just like that.

How did this happen? I could’ve graunched this dude maybe. Over my frothing cup of Guinness. But alas, I’m not that desperate to snog an Irishman (at least not tonight) that I’m going kiss an oke who has a chick and readily admits it.

Solly. I could’ve snogged and ran, could’ve never even given it a second a thought – it’s a random anyway. But no, my mojo had left the pub.

Instead I did more site seeing with my Irish mate (pissed mind you) and wandered around the city finding out about government (Ireland has a female president) and lord mayors and Georgian doors. The sun only goes down in this place at 11pm. It’s nuts. The sun also rises at 5am. This place is light ¾ of the day. How jetlagged am I going to be?

Still. Was nice to have a guy feeling my leg up. I guess.

PS: Irish people reckon, ‘it’s good crack.’ At first I thought they were talking about cocaine, but everyone says ‘crack’, so how could this be?
No, no craic pronounced ‘crack’ is to have a jol or a ‘bit of a laff.’ This is good craic or this is craic is a jolly good time in Ireland. Yours truly has jumped on the craic bandwagon and can’t stop saying the word. Over and over again.

It’s all craic. Just don’t show me yours.

12 comments:

Charmskool said...

I am so loving your trip! Love the Georgian doors too. Word of warning, Irish men....just take my word for it the charm is irresistible and they can't help themselves, but beware, it is kind of automatic not necessarily all that genuine - just enjoy it and leave them gasping.

Revolving Credit said...

So some Irish random felt you up over a pint, licking you and saying 'It's good crack'??

R U sure it's your leg/thigh he was feeling?

Did it leave you feeling 'alive, alive,oh'??

Revolving Credit said...

PS. U Should tell him that ' I have a girlfriend is shite pickup line.!

DT said...

It all sounds like sooo much fun! You have far more restraint than I -I wouldn’t have been able to resist a Bad Boy Irishman!!

KaB said...

Ai, it sounds like a jolly good craic!

I'm most jealous!

And kudos to you...this is the best trip (and only) I've ever had to the Emerald Isle :)

Peas on Toast said...

Charm - yip I was told as irresitible as they are, they're naughty little buggers! :) Hey it was an afternoon of entertainment, so I can't complain ;)

Rev - isn't it the shitest pick up line EVAH? 'I have a girlfriend,' I mean, it's worse than any of the 'are you tired cos my mind's been running..'yadda yadda ones anyday!

And no CRACK, just lots of craic :)

DT - it was a close call I tell ya! I thought, 'when will I ever be here again? Ever? Should I do it?'

kAB - bless your heart young 'un! :)

thing said...

Bloody Irish Bastards.

Billy1177 said...

Not the brightest little paddy now was he?? Telling you he had a girlfriend, you sure he wasnt angling for a 3some?

Peas on Toast said...

thing - ha ha ha :) Thing is, they're all so gorgeous, I've yet to see an Irishman who has been beaten with an ugly stick!
Charmers, the lot of them ;)

Billy1117 - yip, the Guinness must've made him confess! And good thing too. ;)

Leila Starfish Pan said...

Lo! Behold even!

i havent checked your blog because well i was a bit busy relocating to Dublin. yeah..Dublin

i checked today...what do i see? DUBLIN.

so tally ho :) nice to have you here..enjoy....and go to Howth...and do the walk from Bray to Greystones (when the weather is lovely again)

and try and go to County Kildare at least. its only 1.5 hours by bus and there green is all encompassing.

Hope you have a great trip peas. you're an inspiration to us all! ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Lo and behold indeed! Hello Leila!

Good to see a Dubliner here, and thanks for all your travel advice :) Unfortunately I fly back to SA tomorrow night, super sadly - just as the weather has changed...yrgh. So I won't be able to go anywhere except Dublin. But there could always be a next time! Someone just told me that summer is 'oifficially oiver' now that there is rain...surely not, it's only June!

Anyway so far loving this little city - the people are friendly and such, so good luck with your relocation here, hopefully it goes smoothly! xx

Leila Starfish Pan said...

that is mighty sucky.

Howth and Bray are both still in Dublin so you deft need a make a plan missy!

I thought summer had just started? as in 2 weeks ago...o it doesnt matter. its Ireland!!! the land of green stuff and ...things.

and thank you for the luck...it should be pretty good luck what with both of us being in Ireland at the time of wishing

take care xox