Thursday, January 15, 2009

that dude who got lost in a slum

29 December 2008 - later

So it appears I'm the only girl in my twelve bed dorm at present. I'm as happy as a Brazilian in a micro-thong though, I mean boys are always lots of fun and I change in the bathrooms anyway.

I'm cashing in on my siesta, kind of dozing on the bed, vaguely listening in to this conversation these three new Americans are having:

Dude 1: 'You're 19? And travelling to Rio on your own?'
Dude 2: Yeah man, I'm just shooting the breeze in Rio, bro.
Dude 3: I'm 28 and my mom had issues letting me come here in case I was murdered or something.

I'm immediately attentive.

19 year old: Yeah, it's cool man, I mean last night I got lost in a favela.


Dude 1: Dude.
Dude3: Dude. No way man.
19 year old: Way. I got home about 2 hours ago [it was 3pm]
Dude 1: You were in a favela at night? By yourself?
Peas: Hi. My name is Peas. Welcome to the dorm. I wanna hear this too please.

19 year old: So this is what happened right. I was staying in downtown, and they organised a funk party in a favela. You gotta stay in a designated area and everything, but I got wasted right.

Dude 3: So you were jamming with druglords with a thirst for blood?

19 year old: Not exactly. At least not in the beginning, I was with a whole group at the hostel . Anyway I got wasted right, and the bus left without me, and as you can see I'm Korean I was kind of sticking out.

Peas: You don't say.

19 year old: So I kind of walk around and I'm in the 'hood right?
Dude 1: Dude a favela isn't the hood. A favela is like a fucken shantytown on steroids man.
19 year old: Oh yeah, ok, so it was even worse than I thought. So this dude walks me to the door, says something about saving my life and puts me on the next bus outta there. But I'm so wasted I have no idea where I'm staying.

Peas: Where'd the bus take you?

19 year old: Leblon? And I was staying downtown...I think.

Peas: Leblon is like in the opposite direction to where you're meant to be.

19 year old: Right. So the bus drops me there and I kind of chill on the pavement...because I don't know what to, like, do.

Dude 3: You're fucken crazy man.

19 year old: Yeah, so I meet this cop and like chill talking to him for two hours.

Dude 1: Why?

19 year old: Because it was too early for the buses to run into town. It was 5am.
Anyway, so we talk for two hours.

Peas: Dude. In Portuguese?

19 year old: No, I'm speaking English, he's talking Portuguese.

Peas: You did that for two hours? Like talking to a cop for two hours in my own language is taxing enough, but when there's a language barrier, like what the fuck did you talk about?

19 year old: I don't know. But he said he could take me back to town when his shift was over. I think.

Dude 3: Fuck bro.

19 year old: So eventually he hails down a bus and I get on and pass out, because I'm still wasted right.

Dude 1: Right.

19 year old: And then I draw him a picture of the aquaduct, because I THINK that's near to where I'm staying right.

Peas: Right.

19 year old: So he wakes me up, and I kind of walk around the centro for another 2 hours. And then three guys try to mug me, because centro is deserted on the weekend.

Peas:...yeah, Lonely Planet says you don't go there on a weekend by yourself.

19 year old: But I found my hostel man! I found my hostel! And here I am! After my first night in RIO, man. And...I'm still wasted.

Peas: Dude you're coming out with me tonight. You're a fucking hoot.

At this stage, the LA dude walks in looking like a bus hit him.

Peas: Hey dude, what happened to you?

LA dude: 'Favela party. They played the same fucking song over and over again for four solid hours man. DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS? IT'S DRILLED A HOLE INTO MY BRAIN, MAN, OH MY GOD, I'M GOING CRAZY.'

19 year old: They played the same song over and over? I don't remember that.

LA dude: 'Doof doof. dododododododododoDOOF. That. Over and over. Then we lost the Ozzie in the group and some English guy says 'Typical fucking Ozzie' and a fight broke out between the Ozzies and the English.'

So I'm taking these chinas to a street party near the lake tonight. Plonked in the middle of Rio is the 'Lagoa' or this giant lake, with bars surrounding it. Good vibe.

That 19 year old is going to get himself killed. We all betted that if he makes it through his gap year in South America, he'll pretty much defy death for the rest of his life.

30 December 2008

OK we smoked something last night at the street party by the lake, and almost lost the 19 year old again. He sure is friendly - walking up to groups of people making friends. Were pretty much in hsyterics the whole time, pulling him back on his leash before he'd amble down a dark alley. The young 'uns hey. So naive and friendly.

Hilarious though, on the way back home in the cab he was like, 'Dude! This is where I sat with the cop for two hours, it was this street! Oh my GOD, you don't say...there's the cop!'

Going for a final street party thrash tonight with everyone at the hostel. I'm leaving soon, so everyone's coming. I'm starting to feel the panic with leaving. The panic and the sadness. Must focus on having fun tonight.


Paula said...


How is thine morning?

South Am sounds like one LONG parrrrrty! I am going green with envy but am being practical and arranging my own parrrty (trip)!

Any recomendations (hostels, companies to arrange commute)?



Peas on Toast said...

Paula - yeeehah! I'm glad you're starting to whoreganise your trip sista!
It's definitely one long party, but with the added bonuses of culture and scenery and food, making it THAT much more interesting :)

Hostels in Rio - I stayed at Walk On The Beach, two blocks from Copacabana Beach and central in the Zona Sul, where you want to be. They also arranged a pick up for me at the airport.

What I recommend is going onto, it's so useful. You can check out reviews of each place there, hostels in any city and town on the planet and it rates stuff by cleanliness, centrality, staff, facilities, etc etc. You can book on there too.

I booked pretty much everything through that site!

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds like the 19year old needs a tracker installed.

I wonder if his mom sewed his name into his underwear? Maybe she should have, just in case.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - It was with great interest that I watched this young chap, making friends and almost getting himself killed. His eyes were always wide, he had that unwithering enthusiasm so evident in a guy who is travelling for the first time.

Bless. Sigh. I used to be like that. Ten years ago...

PS: I'd bet my salary cheque his underpants had name badges sewn inside of them...

kyknoord said...

The 19-year old sounds like an organ donor in-training.

bobajob said...

were u at ortia yesterday

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - yeah he'd probably do it with a smile too :) Bless him, he was a hoot!

bobajob - what's 'ortia?'

Sam said...

You know, I've never ever had the desire to go to South America until I started reading your travel diary, now I'm dying to go. Sounds like my kind of place.

livingladolcevita said...

Dear lord. Some people should not be allowed out into the world.

Peas on Toast said...

Sam - awesome man! Seriously, if it's inspired one person to go that's fantastic! The great thing with South Am as there's something for everyone. It's got a little something of everything. Let me know if you make your plans Sam! :)

Dolce - hahahahahahahah ;)

po said...

that guy sounds hilarious! I hope he is still alive...

Peas on Toast said...

po - I hope so too dude :)