Friday, April 03, 2009

freckle fusion: no way shut up get out of town

Shit.
We do talk a whole bunch of crap when we’ve had too much wine.

Dove and I had some soup and rice crackers - we're both gluton-freeing it the fuck out - woohoo what a jol, at my house, and similarly drank a bottle of wine.

As per example, amongst laughing until we cried ('Peas tell me something you hate about me, it's fine, just tell me. TELL ME. Because THAT LAUGH China. I can't stand it,') we figured out that we have the same freckle structure going on. On our arms. Get a load of these bad boys. Of course, after much pinotage was had, this is hysterical:

In an evening of wine, we pondered a few things:

1) That after Dove got home and sent me an SMS that said, ‘Am home, love ya,’ I sent one back saying, ‘Love tou yoo,’ realised that we’d actually administered our own little Phuza Thursday in my lounge. Got a little juiced, in retrospect.

2) That guys wearing skinny jeans is just not acceptable. It’s just not a good look, I don’t care if you sing with The Killers. Or hang out at Mr Chow in LA. It shouldn’t be an option, at least not in this country. Dove reckons in Berlin it’s fine, cos that’s just how they wear their jeans. God I hope she’s wrong.

3) Now this is gross, but it must be said: if a dude, who say you’re sitting in a meeting with, has a zit, and it’s throbbing, has it’s own driver’s license, is a good candidate for Oxycutin’ Teen Of The Year – you know, a crazy ass chorb – and he goes to the loo and comes back with it suddenly gone, you look down and exit the meeting very quickly.

4) This is serious: don’t raise your middle finger to a taxi. Done it lots in my life, but was already rolling on the road, speeding away. Dove did this when trying to park her car in my driveway, when a taxi nearly took off her boot, and actually stopped and reversed after she administered Middle Finger Rage pointed in his direction. Hectic. It was fine in the end, but still: she shat herself.

5) Do you have to be Rod Stewart to buy black leather pants? Is this a terrible question? Is this crazy talk? Is this something I should even be thinking of? Shit.

And a little too much pino for a Thursday. Naughty naughty girls.

PS: Had to fix about 50000 spelling mistakes in this bad boy this morning.
50000. That’s how many times I want you to kiss my ass.

K.i.d.d.i.n.g. But it’s our new motto. ‘678790 times. And that’s how many times you can Kiss. My. Ass.’
Isn’t it fantastic? Isn’t it a peach? Or maybe it was just funny last night. Whatever.

23 comments:

Tay said...

There is a guy in our office that insists on wearing the tightest, white skinny jeans I have ever seen. It's enough to make you want to votch...As if that is not sufficient, he has a pair of pin striped ones too...urgh

Peas on Toast said...

Tay, woah! Are you serious? Which industry do you work in babe? I'll bet he thinks he's the coolest thing to have hit the planet too!

Tay said...

I shit you not! Am in the IT industry, communications manager for the department. The monthly meeting is a screamer when he arrives... Provides endless amusement, when I don't want to gag that is!

frozen-heart said...

mornings! 678790 an talkin of arse or should i say ass .. there is the dude that mans the front desk of my fav tattoo shop called erm ok let's rather keep him anonymoose.. well he wears them skinnys too that necessitates climbing skills in getting to the top of his cupboard. just on the jump his brooks only come half way up his arse, turning his boxer underoos into a thong i'm sure, with all the xcess material in multiple fold scarf layers aroond his midriff... the legpipes ending just Above the ankle :S and he goes on to seal 'the look' with pointed shoose an jan v'riebeeck socks, yep! the invisible kinds!
now this is one confoosing site i tell you whether or not you've been on the vino or smoked some leaves. might just be i am not hip 2 b kewl ...
onto another thought,the mother in me would ask mr pimplehead-less on his return to the boardroom, if he had washed his hands? eeeww!!

Peas on Toast said...

Tay - that's SOOOO funny - I was thinking, 'Advertising. For sure.' What a hoot! How DO you take him seriously??

dorothy said...

read somewhere by someone once that skinny jeans on a man were the best contraceptive on the market to date.

Tay said...

No one takes him seriously. We actually take bets to see if he wears the jeans on certain days. I cannot understand how it hasn't dawned on him that every time he stands up to present something in the meetings, most of us end up in a fit of giggles...

Secret said...

I have a best friend who started wearing skinny jeans (this was the fault of the girl he was seeing, i might add - he is one of those), I seriously wantedf to defriend him when I saw them. He coupled these eyesores with a serial dishevelled mop of curly hair. its the stuff nightmares are made of.
I kept him anyway, I adore him too much, he just sports a black bag nowadays.

frozen-heart said...

peas, there is that awards thing tonight... i want just saying on a serioose note ! i hope with all my thumbs you win big! R20.09 goes a long way chicka, win it baby! hands down ! i have been a flit around blog reader for many a moons and yours is the only one that since i found it (thanks fairlady) i have returned to it EVERYDAY and even on weekends when you're not here just for sense of peas'e ;) know how i mean
yep Peace babey!
it's first a coffee
jd then to school
come home, push my log
then you're blog
with another coffee
is how my morning all makes sense
right then, toodles
going to now go showa my flowa
hey!
them awards is done here in the cape, coulda see your name on the attendy list but then again i didnt look too hard, i know my name aint there cause the it aint no t-shirt and flip-flops evening and that's all i have in cupboard wear, but you, you have them red shoose .. are you gonna wear them?
i say wear them even if you dont come ... erm, arrive. i hear wearing red speaks of power...
power to peas!
yeh!
GOOD LUCK PEAS!!

po said...

Hmm, thine ass I shalt not kiss, but I will say this: I saw the Killsers live (and it was fantabulous) and Brandon Flowers was wearing the skin-tightest pair of pants I have ever seen. I don't know how I feel about this, I meaen are super skinny legs really that attractive. I mean, he is hot anyway, but yeah, I am kind of with you on the pants thing.

Peas on Toast said...

Frozen - hahaha! I can't say I'm surprised that a dude working at a tat parlour reckons his skinny jeans are all that and a bag of chips, I suppose he doesn't have to attend boardroom meetings right - but still, WHY OH WHY? WHY??
Thanks so much frozen for your message about the awards, I'm not in CT so won't be attending, but if you do - have a blast and thanks for holding thumbs for me! :) So find yourself some red heels on my behalf ok? ;)

Tay - I can imagine! I'd have a chart going babe to determine which days he weras the skinnys and why - perhaps he's trying to impress someone...:)

po - I absolutely agree he's beautiful, no doubt about that at all - and The Killers are fantastic music-wise....but when I see him in denim ski pants...I close my eyes and listen to the music, notsomuch watch! teee heee

Revolving Credit said...

If you're thinking leather pants, why not just go the whole hog and start thinking latex catsuit?

As for zit guy, why not offer to squeeze it for him in the meeting and then gauge the reaction of the the gathered masses??
As you squeeze and it explodes, shout 'INCOMING' and dive under the table. Double word score if you managed a direct hit on someone else in the meeting, during the eruption....just saying..

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - catsuit. YES.
public zit squeezage - NO.

I'm, eating a fucking fruit at my desk and........now....I wanna puke!
;)

Revolving Credit said...

..eating a fucking fruit..???

Banana? Cucumber has seeds/pips - does that make it a fruit??

Peas on Toast said...

Rev...grapes. I was eating grapes.

PS: Your wine is the best china. The wine we klapped last night? YOURS. And we're not even hungover! Seriously well done, such good stuff!

kyknoord said...

Oooooh, sorry. No can do - I have a cold sore.

Revolving Credit said...

Cool, I'll arrange some more wine for you when you're down here later in the month.

Revolving Credit said...

Kyk, you can't wear skinny jeans because you have a coldsore??

Errmm...either you're wearing your jeanpant on your head or it's not a coldsore, it's a STD????

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - Oh damn, there's that herpes again. Herpes 1 I hope? Herpes 2 is the one you gotta look out for.

Rev - I'll buy a case from you! This is reatil china, and you''ve impressed me and my mates so much we're BUYING!

Revolving Credit said...

Sorry Kyk, did you mean cold-sore or cold & sore??

You've been dipping it the ice bucket again to alleviate the friction burns haven't you??

She'll be back soon, so save your strenghth!!

frozen-heart said...

ok so here i am opening emails and one of me mates send me the ~ emoticons vs assicons mail and so for those of you who wont get it on it's rounds i am thinking to show em here with all this talk of ass ...
here goes >
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) as ass that's been around
peas and dove's fav (_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone!
(_zzz_) a tired ass
the rich dude's ass (_$_)
(_?_) dumb ass
right so now this smart ass (_E=mc2_) is signing out
HAVE AN AWESOME WEEKEND PEEPS and PEAS!
mwah!

Peas on Toast said...

frozen - I love these! Classic, thanks babe! Especially the kiss my ass one of course :)

livingladolcevita said...

freckles are fekkin' fabulous. Rock on!