Tuesday, May 26, 2009

the choice is to be inside anyway


Having a good laugh up there Satan?
Is the case study as your personal human cosmic joke tickling you pink asshole?

Made these arrangements right. And they’ve coincided very untimeously with other arrangements. I’ve double parked. I’m double timing. And I have no idea what to do about it.

Fuck. You know how some problems go away if you ignore them long enough? Do you think that will work?

Oh, and disaster:

Max: Dude.

Peas: What’s crappening.

Max: I’ll tell you what’s crappening. I might have swine flu. That’s what’s crappening.

Peas: Fuck. Dude that’s well average.

Max: My flatmate just got back from Australia. And apparently the dude sitting behind her in the plane has it.

[pause]

Max: So we’re quarantined. Sitting in my flat. Ordering pizza.

Peas: Shut up.

Max: Dude the pizza guy has to drop the pizza off on the doorstep. I have exams to write, can you bloody handle it.

Peas: Are you alright? Cockycuntsticks FUCK.

Max: Dunno yet. Waiting to see what happens next. My flatmate just sneezed on me.

Peas: And you’re living on a diet of delivery pizzas in the meantime?

Max: Addressing flatmate: Why don’t you just sneeze ON me next time?

Peas: Fuck, the least they can do is send you veggies through the post…or something.

Max: What do swine’s eat?

Peas: Root tubers.

Max: Awesome.

If it wasn’t for the chav car I saw on the William Nicol yesterday that had a bumper sticker plastered to its backside that read as such: VW: Very Wicked - I fucken jest it not – well, nothing. It’s just well tidy.

I didn’t know Hounslow was in town. Is all.

Poen came round to klap a bottle of Diemers with me. We ended up going to the Engen
And buying fudge, chocolate, popcorn, muffins, Sweetie Pies, Milo, Nik Naks…in our pyjamas.

The above was our dinner. Fucken rad.

Gone on the days when I care whether 5 of my ex’s walk into the shop while my face is off, and I’m wearing slippers and Woollies men’s pj’s in paisley. Seriously. Whatever.

‘Looks like we just had an epic Stoner shop,’ says Poen.

And then we watched Grey’s Anatomy and chatted for 4 hours.

I think what I'm experiencing now is a sugar hangover. Chronic. Can anyone else hear the sound of rushing water?

18 comments:

Revolving Credit said...

So who are you 2 timing?

Peas on Toast said...

REv - I WISH!

I'm double timing on destinations. So I'm two timing two countries. Does that make sense? Shit I'm a bad planner!

Revolving Credit said...

You're 2 timing 2 countries?
Be careful, shit like that has started wars!

Play it safe, go to Switzerland, at least it's neutral so neither country should mind too much.

While there you can eat chocolate, work on your yodeling and learn to make kitsch wooden clocks with funny little birds inside.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - you gotta love those clocks hey. With the birds that pop out and/or the boy and girl rotating in a circle.

In lederhosens/dirndls.

:)

Revolving Credit said...

Kinda wonder if they could be powered by little birdie hamster wheels?

Peas on Toast said...

Ah those Swiss.
We thought the same thing when we saw those Swiss toilets with the glad wrap running over the seat. What powers that bad boy I wonder.

Tay said...

Grey's was quite an episode last night :-)

Revolving Credit said...

Have you tried cloning?
If you do, can we call you Dolly?

Peas on Toast said...

Tay - farken hectic hey!

We were stuffing out faces, in silence, eyes glued to the screen!

Rev - clone me?? IM.POSSIBLE. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Hey, we could clone a whole pod of Peas!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - impossible. With my complex and unique genetic make-up, it would take Einstein, even, a hundred years.

Revolving Credit said...

It may not be that complex, it's just replicating your DNA.
Who knows, it may be as simple as peeing (or should that be Pea-ing) in a cup and then it's just a case of 'Hello Dolly'!

Peas on Toast said...

My specimens are of highest complex helix persuasion.

Peeing in a cup would be risky business. They could denature, and next thing you have 5000 Lady Hulks on your hands, Einstein.

Revolving Credit said...

To avoid the possibility of ending up with 5000 Lady Hulks on my hands, please aim properly and pee in the cup, not on my hands,

Peas on Toast said...

Can I borrow your funnel?

zuzula said...

Is it me or does quarantine sound kinda fun?

Peas on Toast said...

Helllooo Zuzu!

I guess it's a holiday from the real world eh? ;)

zuzula said...

well there's pizza, there's DVDs... add wine and you have the perfect night in! ;)