Monday, September 14, 2009

twenty nine

I love my friends; they buy cards like this for me:

Quite a nice pre-birthday weekend, if I may say so myself. And and I were up at sparrow’s on Saturday morning to do a Makro Run.

Makro Run’s on Saturday morning’s take full-on mental preparation, and you need to know exactly what you’re going in for (Booze.) Otherwise you’ll go completely mental. I don’t do large supermarkets/wholsesalers/shopping where fat people bring their screaming children along.

I pride myself for convenience shopping, because it keeps me sane[r].

Anyway, we set up a party venue at her parent’s place, spawned out salads and punch and basically drank vodka punch in the sun all afternoon, surrounded by good friends. Not a bad way to bring in 29.

Sat in mud in my party dress, but that’s what happens when you’re 9 going on 29.

One of my mates – love this guy – bought along his guitar – as he does – and strummed out a special song just for me. He’s amazing at impromptu, using his best acoustic rock chords, and he used all my favourite words. Highlight of the day, I almost wet myself properly:

Cunt Cunt Cunt, oh you’re my little cunt. Pussy. Pussayyyyyyyy, yeah pusssssssaaaaaaaaay.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck you….oh yeah fuck you…..fuck, you’re such an asshole,
Asshole, fuck you’re such a fucken dickwad,
Cunt…Cunt….Oh Cunt……you’re a fucking cunt…….
Shit. Oh shit…shit shit shit….fuck……..oh yeah fuck……


It was magic. If he doesn’t cut a record, I’m gonna fucken cut it for him.

Ended up getting quite rowdy and all punched up, so a few of us headed to Giles for some stiff ones afterwards.

And crashed a wedding.

Rock and roll.

Question: Who has a wedding at Giles?

Dunno, but we threw ourselves out onto that makeshift dance floor, cut a rug and broke an egg wide open, pretending to be a part of that bridal party.

My mate was climbing over the bar counter at one stage to teach the barmen how to make shamrocks in my Guinness froth. Bless her.

Except my mate was wearing jeans and I was wearing a cap that said ‘Go The Sharks’ on it.
Even got the photographer to take a few pictures of us, screaming, mouths open, pulling peace signs, like true upstanding individuals of society, and cutting some serious shapes to Grease Lightning. In the middle of the circle.


The cameraman got a reprimanding from, what I imagine, was a bridesmaid and his camera was confiscated. He loved us and she ruined his fun. Buggery.

But wouldn’t mind being a fly on the wall when those snaps come out.

(‘Hang on, who the fuck are they?’)

After crashing the wedding, I drank a Guinness for good measure (Ireland here I come!), and then suddenly my head felt as if it were about to fall off, all that sooping in the sun all day long can kill a 29-year old.

But left before I thought I was going to vomit from the pain.

Poen is back, and so we cracked out a bottle of champers last night on my balcony for good birthday measure. Got properly tonkled and ended up giggling for hours, and yes! Poen is going to be in London when I am.

I bought in my real 29th - this morning - in true Joburg style.

Was awakened at 3:30am this morning by two ginormous gunshots that ripped through my complex.
Lots of screaming, yelling, gun shots, running, crisis I was terrified.

I lay in bed shivering and wide-eyed, not quite sure whether I should check what was going on outside, or if I should just duck down and be a woman. Scary stuff. There was this whole syndicate going down on my road it seemed, with dudes running over my roof to get away.

Awesome. And now I’m 29.

19 comments:

The Levi Store said...

I had a lovely quiet weekend in Pleasantville, Patrick did the lawn, with the mower.. Woke up to see the sun rising over the Indian Ocean.. (no sign of gang bangers..)

Now its the week! I own the week.. And its time to play.. :)

Nothin compared to your "trippin on the wild side"

Peas on Toast said...

Levi - Your Pleasntville sounds almost pleasant! :)

lasinsa said...

De-lurking to wish you a happy day :-) Hope it's fab!

It's my birthday today too, but I'm 10 years older than you so I'm trying my best to ignore it...

Peas on Toast said...

lasinsa - thanks so much! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO! :)

Hope it's a fabulous one, fellow Virgo! :)

The Levi Store said...

29 has a lovely ring to it! Im 47 and dont feel a day older than 4.7.. :)
Sorrrry didnt twig it was your bday! Im not a bday person... :) I think its a denial thang!

But heres me wishing you a stunner of a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Fancy a coffee in Rome?

Secret said...

Well Happy Birthday there young Peas.
I am seriously pissed though. You TOTALLY stole my idea for my birthday. I was so gonna do the whole sundicate/gun shots/3.30am thing, and you coined it before me. Now I totally have to think of something new.

Wedding crashing ftw!! :D

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks so much Levi! I have no doubt I'll be drinking plenty espresso in Rome, amongst other things :)

Thanks Secret! I know, what a way to bring in 29 hey? Adrenaline pumping and wondering whether the shots are coming from my living room. Awesome stuff! :)

getaway said...

Happy Birthday dear peas!!

Loads of Hugs (and shooters in variations of colors)

xxx

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks getaway! :) xx

Nessers said...

29 - WOW I had my 2nd baby at 29 and left her father the following yeat lol. Hope you have a stunning 30th year young Peas and that you have many many more

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Nessers! Thirtieth year - crisis, not sure I'm ready to quite envision that! :(

mEeLa said...

Ooh cool another fellow virgo - I got the cool 090909 date this year... Happy birthday! Hope you get thouroughly spoiled and absolutely shit-faced - and may a thousand naked greek gods steal any semblance of a hangover :)

Mickey G said...

Happy Birthday Peas! I too am turning 29 in a little over a month so I feel your paying in saying good bye to your twenties.

Regarding the wedding at Giles, that is some funny shit. I used to frequent Giles often and I just don't understand where you would have space to have a wedding reception.

Peas on Toast said...

Mickey - I know! About the Giles thing - couldn't believe my eyes, what a hoot!

Thanks so much, and here's to you turning the big 2-9 too! :)

Charmskool said...

Happy Birthday Peas! Aww how lovely to be 29. Have a splendid year girl. I can still remember my 29th birthday with total clarity..... I partied until I turned 30 ... then I had a mooosa party for the next year to celebrate that. My birthday this year is for an age that won't be mentioned but it was officially on the first of August and on Friday night we were still out celebrating (about the fifth "official" birthday celebration, boy do my friends love my birthday/me)with Diemers Chocolate Pinotage and chocolates and stuff at Winex. Go Diemers. By the way, who was shooting at whom and why? I need to know these things.

po said...

shiiiiit, scary stuff Peas, and not only the 29 bit :)

Welcome to the world of 29, we have one year left of being young and... young.

Peas on Toast said...

Chamr - that sounds like a splendid way to bring in my 30th next year - just carry on partying until then! I love it :)
Diemers baby all the way tonight! :)

Still not sure who did the shooting and why...might have to ask the lesbians next door. Their cat shat on my bonnet though, so it's going to take a certain resilience to ask for the details!

po - thanks sweetheart! :)

Billy said...

Happy Birthday Ms P. Trust the year ahead makes the last 10 look tame.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Mr Billy! :)