Thursday, September 10, 2009

ye wisdom of ye 20s scoundrels

Went and had a drink with Dove, J and the rest of the gang last night. J is out from Singapore for a night with her gorgeous boy.

I don’t get broody – never have and wondering if I ever will – but she has one gorgeous little 2 year old. A mate of mine with child. And he’s beautiful, really the perfect little dude in the package of a toddler.


Over a few glasses of rouge, a few of us have decided that:
1) Next year we’re going to Glastonbury Festival. To muck about in mud and experience killer tunes live. Sold.

2) This time in 2 weeks I’ll be on a plane bound for Germany. En route to Italy. Lufthansa Lufthansa. Mit deine uncomfortable reclining seats.

Haven’t seen Dove in a while, so was nice to catch up with my friend. We still laugh about Berlin in such a manner that the rest of the room doesn’t know what the fuck we’re on about.

Basically nice to see those I haven’t seen in ages because it was a cold and dark winter and I didn’t feel like leaving my house for any long periods of time. Just a pity it was a school night.

On school nights. Don’t have the energy for big nights during the week anymore, have faced it, embraced it and accepted it. Those dying days are well over. Yet.

Fuck it, I can’t say I’m panicking about turning 29. I’m amazingly not. This is coming from a girl who when she turned 19, cried like a baby all day long. I am one of those people who was happy to be 18 for eternity, and latched onto the Eighteen-Till-I-Die Bryan Adams dream for a good 9 years.

So turning 29 should, expectedly and automatically, engage a shit fit of monolithic proportions.

Except that something’s happened: I don’t really care. Perhaps this is the beauty of nearing 30. You let go of being scared about anything. Or at least the stuff that won’t change.

Perhaps I’m living beyond the ring roads of reality. Where Pleasantville – Johannesburg Extension 53 – mostly comprises finding a husband, buying property in Parkhurst and spawning heirs, who later attend private schools.

Well that’s not my prerogative at all. Thank heavens, because I’d really be in a bind if it was. Living in desperate panic of fulfilling those societal norms must not only be exhausting, but also fruitless.

If those things haven’t happened; other shit has. Perhaps you’re fulfilling needs that other people only wished they could. Even if secretly.

I think if anything can be determined beyond my spinsterhood and penchant for spending my savings on seeing the world, I am happy where my life is at 29.

Maybe Pleasantville will happen to me later on, maybe it was always meant for me that settling down would happen much later. In the meantime I’m [almost] 29, and maybe I should even be freaking out. But I’ve decided I really don’t need to.

Shit is generally gravy.

I have approximately one year left of my twenties. One year. Time is precious. Our twenties could possibly be the most turbulent learning curve of our lives, and yet it is the one decade where we are still allowed to make mistakes.

It’s still acceptable to do some crazy shit from time to time. It’s still acceptable not to have a bond, funeral insurance and a 5 year plan.

So. I’m going to milk it for all it’s worth.

PS: When do you start lying about your age? Or is that something I should be doing already?


Anonymous said...

we used to call the subject of your post.. "so you have not bought the lawn mower yet..?"
The purchase of a lawn mower signifies Pleasantville..
For the mo you can concentrate on other things.. Just as those other pretty princess of M do!!

Peas on Toast said...

hahaha, Levi - I think it's safe to say that I'll never buy a lawnmower. Evah. If I really really really have to, it's about 345 678 on my list :)

Anonymous said...

and that should give you plenty of flexibility.. and lots of scope for fun.. :-)

Secret said...

Its my 24th birthday next weekend (the 19th) and I must be honest, I am petrified. I am petrified every year when i realise that the age I am turning sounds so much more adult that the age I am currently.
Its really very scary. Moreover, I really dont want to get old.
I also was one of those kids who was ferverently happy being 18. And 16 for that matter.

The only thing I am excited for is my birthday party which will be the usual extravaganza ending with me passing out in the back of my sisters car and then collapsing on the lawn and waking up soaking wet from the dew.
When exactitively is your bday Peas?

getaway said...

Yikes, im also terrified of aging!! Yikes, inescapable!! I think you're handling this gracefully peas - you can only go at your own pace.

Secret too.

Social expectations only makes it worse!

An old friend who i've known since i was like five was hammering me about 1)being in her wedding 2)that i too should be planning. WTF??? Something about us not getting younger - like just coz you're shoving yourself into FOREVER, doesn't mean i have to surrender to the monotony that is society!!

- sorry needed to vent

i think the old saying "you're as young as you feel" is fitting. don't let the wrinkly butted social dictators decide where you ought be at!

with love.

Peas on Toast said...

Secret - ah cool, so you're also a Virgo! (Aren't we great? ) haha.

Between the ages of 19-28 I was petrified of every year that rolled by. When I turned 25 I thought I was over the hill. So I understand completely. But then last year something changed. Well at least I think so - I turn 29 on Monday (14th), and I might freak out on the actual day. But so far so good! :)

PS: Would never wanna be 16 again though. Yikes all that teenage angst - no thanks! :)

getaway - oh god, wedding talk. I just CANNOT. DO. IT. Maybe if the time comes when I plan my own wedding sure, but for now, it seems far too crazy to even contemplate. Just seems like when weddings are being planned it's all the conversation revolves around - which makes me think: does life stop when you get married? Like general normal life? Please say it isn't so.

You're definitely as young as you feel. I'm not sure whether I'm a standard 29 year old or not, but I'm starting to think that at LEAST with age, we have choice.

Margot said...

Oh Peas, as a 35-year-old ancient who lives on the fringes of Pleasantville with husband and baby, what can I say except that when I was 29 I was totally delighted with life. God it was a fantastic time! But "for everything there is a season" (sorry I have a folk song obsession) and the kidlet and husband are also fantastic. But you have to really really want them, because they can drive you crazy too.

I am so ancient now that I am not scared of ageing anymore.

But go easy on the wedding planners - they are hopefully just excited about a big event. (Except if they are making you feel shit about not wedding planning, of course...)

Peas on Toast said...

Margot - for sure, and advice heeded. It is their special day, and anothing to do with love is always exciting. I suppose they're all just blending together at the moment as there are so many, and I just feel very very on another planet to them.

That said, maybe one day I'll have one. And maybe not. But so far 29 isn't all bad :)

Margot said...

Ahem. "When IIIIIIII was 29", apart from walking 10 miles in the snow barefoot every morning, the idea of settling down to the car and the mortgage and marriage and babies was totally foreign to me. So I'm hopefully just identifying... But then, I always knew for sure that I did want the "lid" and the lid's kid, so I guess that was a bit of a motivator. But I was on the point of giving up before it actually happened. I should shut up now.

Flarkit said...

"Living in desperate panic of fulfilling those societal norms must not only be exhausting, but also fruitless.

If those things haven’t happened; other shit has. Perhaps you’re fulfilling needs that other people only wished they could. Even if secretly."

These are the wisest words I've seen in ages.

At 38-going-on-45-going-on-16, I'm semi-comfy on the borders of Pleasantville, contemplating the grass on a few other sides, a tall ice-cold drink in-hand.

Live life at your own pace and enjoy every second of the journey, else WTF is the point???

Peas on Toast said...

Margot - I hear you and I definitely want a lid, I do! I'm just not actively seeking one. I think if you seek you don't find, so maybe my lid will just arrive unnanounced one day :)

Flarkit - why thank you, and yes, I think whichever paths we all find ourselves - we're going to gain and lack something, let's be honest. So might as well enjoy what we have right?

Margot said...

"I think if you seek you don't find,"
Totally agree.
Stupid irony.
I found my cantankerous clankety lid at - wait for it - The Doors in Edenvale where we connected over always having gone to the "real" Doors in town in the 80s and early 90s. I don't know if you know it, but the Doors is not the place one would imagine finding a lid. At all. Except for your tupperware full of weed, perhaps.

tyrone said...

Peas, babe... Older chicks are HOT! They're fun to be with, great to have a conversation with and in bed, well, they know what they're doing... :) :)

Celebrated my best mate's 30th on Sat. Wow. If the party was anything to go by, look forward to getting old!

Although I think all that Tequilsh and down-downs may have aged me a bit. My liver definitely felt 105 on Sunday.

Peas on Toast said...

Margot - now THAT'S romance :) Bless! xx

Tyrone - Peas, babe... Older chicks are HOT!

OK. Now I'm freaking out.

:) But you're right, we DO know what we're doing ;)

tyrone said...

I mean older than 23 of course. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Tyrone - shit, so does this make me old for the LAST 6 YEARS??

OK, don't worry I'm breathing into a bag.

tyrone said...

Have you found any gray yet?

Peas on Toast said...

Ty - I've found two over the last two years. So holding thumbs they don't start sprouting. I pulled them out very very fast.

Shiny said...

Fear not. I'm nearing my mid-30's and still feel it's perfectly acceptable not to have the 5-year plan and to do crazy shit, often (though, admittedly, not on a school night...) x

Mike Lyndon said...

It's time to break the norm. General consensus says our 20's are the time we have to tease and test the limits of responsibility before we have to grow up. With more people choosing to be selfish and shun marriage and kids in their early adult years, attempting to apply the same ideology as previous generations only leads to confusion and discontent. Your lifestyle, like many who read this blog, reflects that of a cultural early adopter and one that redefines the current popular life timeline. Wow! That came across a lot more academic and pretentious than expected. Heading towards 29 I've realised that I'm still a kid who's trying to grasp the ins and outs of life. I might, if I'm lucky, figure out the basics in my 30's, but I don't for a second assume my daily routine has reached a plateau that simply requires fine tuning. Peas, our generation will forge a new way of living life. And as the guinea pigs of this new life style, the lack of proven paths only makes our choices that much more exciting. I say ignore the doubts and fears in one's head and continue visiting exotic locations. If only to enthrall us with your posts. - Mike