finally

Have packed my life for the Ukes. A brolly the size of Birmingham, 8000 thermals, boots, stockings.....and some sexy stuff to put underneath.

Because layers of thermal underwear is very Queen Victoria, and frankly, I'm going for a bit of Camilla these days. Minx.

My German friend flies back home tonight as well, and we sat in my living room last night drinking wine, listening to down tempo dub step, with shit strewn all over the carpet as we tried to fold stuff into our respective suitcases.

‘There’s a flying animal next to your light.’ He says.

‘That’s a moth. It’s not really an animal…in the true sense of the word. More like a fly.’

Then something got struck by lightning in the not-too-far off distance, with sparks flying and thunder crashing, I thought ‘Hell. Storms on the Highveld rock.’

In the not too far off distance, a car alarm went off. And I thought. ‘Fuck. I almost forgot my Oyster Card.’ For public transport.

I’m so excited I could literally pooh. And…girls don’t do that, especially not when staying with someone, er, nice, for two weeks. None of THAT will be happening, but I think what I’m trying to say is: Crisis, I’ve hired a Polo on a French car rental site.

I hope it’s a fucking Polo and in the right place; it’s our mode of transport for when we drive across Ireland for our conference. A huge conference consisting of over 2000 people from my company. Like last year, in Greece.

A few of us are doing a roadtrip across the Emerald Isle. Am so excited to be going to Ireland again – what’s not to love? Guinness and the Irish, I mean let’s be honest. Oh and it’s very quaint and pretty and has shops called ‘Get Stuffed’ [swear to God].

Roadtrip across Ireland, which in total is like 5 hours across. Superb. Plenty of time to stop for Guinness and get pissed with the locals.

How will I work today? Christ and I have a load to do.

Two weeks between now and Italy feels like a lifetime; so I am currently bouncing off walls like someone who takes too much BioPlus before their final matric Maths II paper. Except excited, not strung out and having heart palpitations.

Sort of thing.