Thursday, November 19, 2009

ennerved


I fly to Kenya tomorrow.

I’m scared.

It’s when I’m scared - and it’s not just Kenya at the moment, I’m scared and despondent about all sorts of crap - I tend to do meaningless shit to distract myself.

Like find websites entitled ‘Stuff White People Like.’ Yeah it’s funny, sure. We like camping, taking gap years, Moleskine Notebooks and Vespas. I suppose we can be stereotyped into one autonomous race. It’s not half wrong. Makes for an interesting, entertaining read. They even publish books.

I’m just imagining what would happen if someone started a blog called ‘Stuff Black People Like.’ Especially in this country. I’m trying to guess the time period by which the blog would be labeled racist. Four, maybe, five seconds?

So that’s one piece of meaningless crap I’ll sift through when my head is way confused and overwhelmed.

Sometimes I’ll surf a Facebook acquaintance’s page. A specific one, where, life is just simpler. For example a girl I went to primary school with, who has a kid, talks about God, or how blessed she is, and joins groups like ‘If 1 Million People Join, We’ll Donate R2 To The SPCA,’ and such.

It’s too sweet to roll your eyes. It’s a simple existence, a bubble existence, free of issues and stress, just blissful ignorance.

I wonder whether I ever had the ability to be like that – even if I knew at 5 years old I never would be.

I’m watching Californication and for some reason, God, it isn’t as funny as the first time I saw it. Hank Moody is disturbing me more than anything.

Perhaps it’s not the light superfluous crap I was hoping for, after what, 6 months of Chandler’s sarcasm.
Perhaps a lot of what’s gone awry in his little existence has gone wrong in mine. Perhaps this stuff encourages me to feel even more cynical than I even imagined.

Arrgh screw it. I’ll run it off.

10 comments:

poppy said...

It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied

j.s. mill

Peas on Toast said...

poppy - .....but who is j.s mill?
;)
Kidding. But I have to argue that sometimes I disagree.

poppy said...

it's like the blue or the red pill from the matrix. i'd be going back into the matrix.

Mukomana said...

@poppy a pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes...a satisfied pig is a marvel to be envied !!!

Peas on Toast said...

poppy - true, true. I mean, at least we get to choose our destinies right!
:)

Mukomana - now THAT isn't bad going! I heard that the dolphin has the longest orgasm, and third on the list (random) is the hamster. Interesting...

Hayley said...

Hmmm, Peas did you catch the first epp 'Hung' on Mnet on Tuesday? Seems like a welcome addition to our viewing.

And there's always 'So you think you can dance' Finale tonight. Goddamn best reality show out and a sure fire way to brighten up any gloomy Jozi Thursday!

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Hayley!
Thanks doll - I'm so out of the loop when it comes to quality TV viewage, ever since Grey's Anatomy stopped, I hauled out all my DVDs :(

But Hung sounds good, will definitely give it a crack, thanks my dear!

poppy said...

How did this become sexual so quickly.

Peas on Toast said...

Poppy - it's the Internet. Usually I blame Revolving Credit, but he hasn't popped by today, so today I'll just blame the 'Net :)

wozzel said...

well, if i were small and fluffy, i would want to be a hamster.

ps - enjoy Kenya

ppss - i'm eating chocolate cake.