Thursday, June 17, 2010
Throbbing hard cock monkeys. Look what that card did to our nation, squirrel wanker. And it only touched his ankle.
I have flu. My Brit touches down in less than two days, and I was planning to look like a sex goddess on his arrival at OR Tambo. With red flaky nose and a head full of snot, I'm guessing that's not going to do anything for his human vuvuzela.
Even if we haven't seen each other for 7 weeks.
I'll strap on an industrial size bottle of Vaseline to my schnozz tonight to abate the nasal hell that is my face.
Whilst I whack on my sexy time bed linen.
Besides that, am feeling awfully depressed about the game last night. In the freezing testicular-choking cold yesterday, we headed to Doc's for a Bafana Braai. And readily got thumped by Uruguay, and felt a dislodging and seething hatred for the snarky commentator and ref after stuffing a boerie roll in my face during the nail biting match.
What gives? How can he red card our brave little goalie proceeding battle with the French?
I am utterly and unforgivably fucked off about this; it's just not gravy. I am cringe to watch the Bafana-French game now, because I might smash the nearest plasma screen out of indescribable angst.
Fuck. So this is what sport is about.
Sweeping emotions for your team, coupled with jubilant elation if they draw nevermind win a game. I get it now. I get why sports fanatics are like they are.
This is the world I've been missing out my whole life of being an arts student and writer whose interest is history and language, not so much activities that involved excessive sweating in polyester.
Crisis. It's like being on drugs.
The high is fantastic, and the comedown makes you want to throw your LG printer into the bath tub. Hit me up on soccer heroin baby - just be warned, I'm a bitch to be around when we don't win.
PS: South African supporters leaving the stadium before the match is over, shame on you. What is that pants? Leaving Bafana at their time of need, because you want to miss the traffic home? The game was sad, but that was the saddest aspect of it all.