Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I have been numb and pulling my hair out over the 6 months. To the point where I it hasn't really started sinking in that I leave South Africa tomorrow.
I am crying big hot tears as I write this. As I have been doing all morning.
It's starting to feel real now. A day before I go. It might've been the migraine I had last night, while tossing and turning in my mother's borrowed sleeping bag in a shell of a house, no curtains, no furniture, nothing.
C2, Dove and myself sat on my bare floors last night just talking, friends calling to say goodbye, and even then it didn't seem real that I'm leaving my loved ones behind.
Got into my car this morning for my last run to work, to tie things up and say goodbye. And bawled all through the traffic. When will be the next time I actually drive a car after today?
Basically, will I forget how to drive?
I have lost 4 kilos over the last few weeks. Either being too stressed to eat or forgetting altogether. Very not me.
The nation is pretty depressed as it is, now that the World Cup is over and Paul the Octopus has been turned into calamari, but to leave home - as a now very patriotic and proud South African means I'm on a complete roller coaster.
I'm scared and excited. I'm crying. I'm going to miss home. My stuff is sitting ready for two months of ship-time from Durban harbour.
It's happening. It's the end of my Johannesburg era - spanning almost 7 years - and the beginning of Peas in London.
Discovering a new world all over again.