london's big day

This place is on FYE-YER.

Whether all the cynics out there are grumbling - and God they are grumbling - shut up already and just deal - people have already started camping outside Buckingham Palace.

They've also started 'glamping' (glam camping) on Clapham Common. The local MP is up in arms, but for a mere 70 squid, people can camp on and festival themselves out on the common. Classic.

Street parties abound; 'bunting' (those triangular flags on string), are hanging everywhere, you open any newspaper and there's coverage from front to back.

Either you embrace it and make it a party (hell, we have the day off for chrissakes!) or hide under the Earth's crust. Because in London, there's no getting away from it.

The weather says rain, but we've decided to make the day our own.

About ten of us are heading to a friend's in the East End (God knows how we'll get there. Public transport on the big day is going to be questionable). Therein, we'll drink champers, watch the ceremony on the wide screen.

And wear these:

And these: (Bless her, she found them in Debenhams for £6. A beautacious Royal replica ring, just for the occasion)

From there, we'll head to the Oxo Tower and embark on a three course Royal cuisine, all done by Harvey Nicks.

And no doubt, after all of that class, go and crash a Royal street party and get flat out swizzled. In the rain. In our fascinators.

I'm rather excited, can't lie.

Give it a rest grumblers and protesters, it's going to be a wonderful British Day. And you get the day off, so quit your bitchin'.

Happy days Will and Kate. Hope you get your honeymoon away from the paps. I suggest Guam or Chad.

The Dove just emailed me.

I was looking at the guest list and thinking: unless you're sitting next to Elton John or Prince Harry, you're gonna be b.o.r.e.d as f.u.c.k. Have you seen the plonkers on that list?

Would you rather: Marry a royal and never be able to leave home with the slightest blemish on your cheek, or dance like a plonker, or get drunk, or eat a cheese burger in public,or take drugs, or get a ta-oo or swear, AS WELL AS - have to attend every charity event in England, Ireland and Wales including things like the unveiling of the Scunthorpe School for Cerebral Palsy.

OR

Eat a pigeon and pooh pie?

God I love her.