Tuesday, June 14, 2011
stevie the tv
Our TV can Skype.
The Brit had to attend to Toiletgate last night, and did the poor bugger grapple with the shitter or what.
There was much sweating, and grunting and 'oh my fuck' ing and 'oh my GOD it splashed into my face' ing, until the relieving words of "I HAVE UNBLOCKED THE BASTARD" were muttered.
And then he scrubbed himself raw in the shower.
I went down to the shop and bought him a Flake as a reward. I figured a flake looked like a chocolate log, so no irony would be lost there.
Then, out of nowhere, the Brit pulled a crazily large flat screen panel TV out of his car.
He had fast forwarded to phase 6 out of our phased move in.
Not that I haven't cheated either, buying a crystal candelabra the other day, sure. And an IKEA bookshelf.
Anyway, he was much enthused. As men are inclined to be about televisions.
He displayed the same type of enthusiasm for the thing that I did for my antique chairs off eBay.
Anyway, it's fucking awesome. I digress - Stevie the TV can fucking Skype.
It's a smart TV - essentially a mean looking flat screen plasma, that is connected to our Internet and therefore acts like a computer too.
My Brit is a techie, so he had a hard on just playing around with it last night. We can Skype, Facebook (although that would just be sad...), play YouTube clips, connect to iPlayer, search maps, basically do anything on this bad boy.
And! And! We can control it from our phones, motherfucker. We downloaded an app onto our Androids, and we can both control the TV from the kitchen, say, using our phones.
Boggles the brain. This is the stuff my Brit gets off on. And I've realised, so do I.
My last TV in Joburg was from 1996. It weighed more than Nigeria, it was half a metre long, and grew up knowing the Commodore 64.
This thing is two centimetres thick. And when I Skype my mates and family, they get an aerial view of our lounge. Isn't that shweet?
Stevie the TV rocks so hard. And, the best part? It doesn't fuck with my housewife vibe. It'll look like a big floating picture on the wall when it's mounted.
I'm off to Hamburg tonight for work.
I'm going to miss my Brit. And the TV.