Monday, September 05, 2011
This is a box. Made from cardboard.
Spent a lot of the weekend doing cool London shit.
Like eat a tower of dim sum with friends in Liverpool Street, cruise Spitalfields market, get toasted on red wine with the Brit.
I also visited Harvey Nicks. Joanna Lumley talk about this in Absolutely Fabulous, every five seconds if you've never heard about it before. It's in Knightsbridge, opposite Harrod's just about.
They sell things like Chanel bags and Victoria Beckham jeans.
If you go in there, and get lost in the rabbit warren of designer clothes and handbags, prepare to have your financial testicles lopped off.
There is something very intimidating browsing an aisle of Valentino and Vera Wang.
Your eyes are on stalks, because you've never seen such beautiful clothes, and yet you feel embarrassed reaching for the tag in case the fucking shop assistant judges you.
One should always keeps one's poker face in tact when one browses the latest line of Chanel handbags.
Because when one casually spots a price tag of £3000, one must not do anything except push a bead.
Anyway, I struck gold. I walked up to the Vivienne Westwood section. Always loved the old tart. She is the only person I know who has publicly dissed Kate Middleton. (For being boring with her clothes. Obviously.)
She is also ridiculous eccentric, with unbelievebale hair. She cycles on a Pashley.
My bike is a Pashley. She lives in Battersea. I live in Battersea.
But whatever. The most remarkable thing about Vivienne Westwood, arguably, is her shoe collection. I don't particularly warm to her clothing lines, but her shoes are great.
Why? They are manufactured to smell like bubblegum.
She's a fuckin' genius. And so when I visited the Westwood section, I found a pair of bubblegum-smelling mini Wellies and they cost me only £70. Even her velvet shoes smell like bubblegum.
Dude. Best buy at Harvey Nicks Ever.
I've been making people my my shoes all day.
I've been told they'll never lose their smell. Even if I'm riding to work with them.
The smell of bubblegum is emanating from under my desk as we speak. And the boardroom of the Monday Morning Meeting smelt like bubblegum too.