Thursday, April 05, 2012

i lolled

Sometimes it's difficult to distinguish between white noise and crap you should actually be listening to.

Well a few things have been forced down my aural passages lately. And thank fuck for it.
Because sometimes when you really listen, you hear stuff like this:

She Who Also Loves Tweed & Diets: Dude. Amazing but awful news. Poland has sent me a cake.

(We just ate half of it. Someone took a picture on their phone. If it ever gets out, I'll never be famous it'll be embarrassing. Unlike this woman:

One Samantha Brick: Other women hate me because I'm so beautiful.

If you don't live in the UK, you might not have seen this, but even then are you deaf? Blind maybe? She's, like, totally trending globally on Twitter.

Long and short of it: she wrote an article for the Daily Mail about how beautiful she is. She's an average looking woman by anyone's standards. Not the back end of a bus, but not Angelina Jolie either. Bit of a perception issue here. Grandiose much? Caused a public uproar, and there have been articles around whether it's a spoof, a publicity stunt, or whether she's just plain mental. What a rod.

Pick your source of the coverage right here. And weep.

The Brit: (who is in France for work. Gah!) Just seen a French man trimming his nasal hair whilst driving. And you love the French.

(I've seen people do more disgusting things in the tube actually.)

Toff* on Denmark Street, walking with purposeful stride: It was amazing? EVERYONE was there? Like, EVERYONE? And there were, like, pashminas EVERYWHERE?....Yah? Yah. Oh REALLY?....Yah really.

(To be fair, a friend heard this. But the way he told it, it felt like I was there. Absolutely AMAZING? Like, it was like I was THERE? EVERYONE was there.)

Irish gay friend: Hi. That shirt the other day was too baggy. Didn't go with the skirt. You look much better today. Right. The homosexual has spoken. Bye


Happy Easter. Please eat as much chocolate as I plan to, so that we can all be fat together.

* Definition of a toff.

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