Wednesday, June 20, 2012

BE 3000: raving in lithuania

8 June

We went home to scrub up after meeting our friend at the sushi bar. He looked about 15, and since he invited us to a rave and we're not 15, we ran back to our hostel and dug out our makeup at the bottom of our backpacks.

Dove: Dude. We don't have anything for a rave.

Peas: Yeah except this awesome chunky knit. And my Amish dress.

Dove: We'd better put some make-up on. Did you bring mascara?

Peas: I think so?

 Hostels here have funny names in these Baltic countries. We are staying at 'Jimmy Jumps House' hostel. 'Friendly Fun Franks' hostel in Riga. 'Cinnamon Sally' in Tallinn. Ten out of ten for creativity. Much better than "Vilnius Backpackers," say.

Anyway, so we put on our warm granny gear and head over to the 'rave' on the edge of the Old Town. We were told to look for a place called the Academy, something suitably underground-sounding.

Walk in and immediately find a huge crowd of fucked people. Fucked as in 'probably have taken a few recreational drugs,' as opposed to anything else.

The music was pumping, and there were 3D animations on the walls, and immediately felt out of place with the throbbing crowd outside. Went straight to the niceman serving beer straight out of the keg.

It's like we were back at university; the party was going on illegally on the campus anyway, and were told the cops could barge in at any time. This gave it a nice, comforting and dangerous edge to the experience. We could be arrested in Lithuania. At any second.

We found our mate, who looked like Jared Leto BTW, who was now wearing a startling pair of John Lennon glasses and bouncing around. He didn't see us stumble in, so we kind of loitered on the periphery, not knowing if we should wave, because he'd think he'd invited his mum and her best mate.

 Needless to say, he bounded up to us, and invited us into his fold. Lithuanians, once stoned, it turns out are actually very friendly. They all do lots of folklorish type music amongst themselves. And dance like crazy people.

One guy was a human digeridoo behind us. Making noises, while his mates joined in chirping like birds as complimentary sound to his solo digeridoo gig. Jared Leto, who for 15, but was actually 24, was a good looking guy. Until he started jibbing on about hippie stuff. Awright stoner.
"Follow the light man. You gotta follow the light."

"Peace and love man. Check out my card trick. It's all about peace and love....and the trees."

[Music background doof doof doof]

"It's the journey man, the motherfucking JOURNEY. Follow the light on the journey. Be the journey. Live the journey."

[Music background doof doof doof]

Oh shut up. You're 24. What do you know.

He was sweet though, and just wanted us to be his hippie buddies on our "journey."

Then a guy dropped a beer on Dove's coat.

She held it up and implored:
"Where is there a laundromat I can send this to?"

[Music background doof doof doof]

Blank faces.

Dove: A laundromat?  You know, washing machines?
Blank faces. Music background [doof doof doof].

Dude: Oh wait. I've heard of those. Yeah. We don't have laudromats in Lithuania.

Dove: Not one? [Leaning forward] "This wouldn't be a problem if this wasn't my only coat...and we weren't in the cunting Baltics."

Peas: So you guys aren't quite...on the laundromat scene yet?

Dude:  No. You can probably wash it in the river though? [earnest, very serious suggestion face.]

 A little later, after a few more beers:

Peas: Well isn't this just a FANTASTIC party? What a great party!

Dove: Peas. Granny comment alert granny comment alert.

Peas: Ah shit. I DID sound like a granny there didn't I. But then I wasn't asking where there is a laundromat nearby at a freakin' RAVE, was I?

Dude: No you're right. This IS  a great party. You know why? You can smell musk, tears and vomit.


Dude: It's so trippy man. Everyone is following the light. And the love.

Dove: [Leaning forward again] China. This guy totally looked like the younger version of Jared Leto. Until he opened his mouth.

Peas: Everyone looks so TRENDY here. 

Dove:  Dude. Granny comment alert granny comment alert.

We stumbled home after a few beers, listening to people sing and do their folklore thing, and say our goodbyes ("bye...follow the light man...follow the trees...trippy man") to Jared Leto Junior.

Marveling at how cool Lithuania is; the fact that laundromats hadn't quite made it here yet and yet this place is so...trippy. It's fuckin' TRIPPY man.

We had a lot of exploring to do. Went to a rave wearing chunky knits! That's right, yes we did!


Flarkit said...

Pics of granny-rave-gear or it didn't happen! We the fans demand to judge whether or not you infact were the most oustandingly fashinzable at said Lithrave

Peas on Toast said...

Flarkit - you totes tempt me so! I have uploaded a picture of me raving in my chunky knit, just for your viewing pleasure :)

Flarkit said...

That's... that's... funtastically Lithuravian! It's perfecto for roughing it in laundro-less nightspots :D

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