Tuesday, July 17, 2012

quit counter

Stopped smoking again. Actual. Mostly sort of very much properly.

I've quit so many times before that it's normal. I spend my life quitting smoking. It's really fun.

Not that I took it up again, really, but after lots of "should I/shouldn't I," I've decided to start taking the pill next month - and in order to avoid a full blown heart attack/thrombosis/clot, need to stop.

For the first seven years I was ever on the pill I didn't worry about heart attacks and deep vein thrombosis. Now I travel in things like aeroplanes for long periods of time and I'm not in my blushing twenties anymore. I actually need to stop smoking in my 30s if I'm on the pill.

What a fucking killjoy. My bastard fallopian tubes had better be grateful.

At least I'm stagnating this. Wow would the Brit get a surprise if he returned from Spain all tanned, all smoked up and more relaxed than a sphincter to find his girlfriend hormonal AND nicotine deprived.

Oh and honey? You need to quit again too. 

Hormones and withdrawals, all at once? What am I, some kind of sadist? No. I should quit now and then deal with the new hormone injection next month only. That would be the sensible thing to do. Also might mean no one gets killed in the process.

So. I'm back on the non-smoking wagon. My appetite has once again surged to all unrecognisable salivation. Watched Jamie Oliver on the telly last night. He was making Moroccan lamb burgers. Well I just about ate the screen right off it's arm. (The screen is still attached to the wall, but I nearly drowned in a pool of my own saliva.)

I could write some erotic fiction just about foods that are making me horny right now. 50 Shades of Burgers - that's what happens when you stop smoking.

I downloaded an app that helped me quit last time. This is what it says right now:
1 day, 15 hours, 19 minutes - time since last cigarette
100% - heart rate and blood pressure dropped
100% - carbon monoxide in your blood has dropped to normal levels
81% - your senses of taste and smell have improved (DAMN SKIPPY THEY ALMOST HAVE. ALL I CAN TASTE ARE THOSE IMAGINARY BURGERS IN MY MOUTH)
54% - Nicotine has been removed from your body
11% - dependence on nicotine has been eliminated
5% - withdraw symptoms have subsided
1% - your circulation has substantially improved

Oh my burgeoning burnt burgundy burger. This is going to take ages.

Just had to warn everyone that they were about to see something "really special" when we went for lunch.
Piled plate and lots of inhaling, sweating and deep breathing.

Over vegetables. Burgers are for my dreams only. 

PS: Haven't been to a pub yet. Let the fun and games begin on Friday.

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