Friday, February 01, 2013
People have been enquiring whether my SAD lamp has been working.
It's been on for a full week now, and yes, one might want to see some resultz.
Until yesterady, I wasn't quite sure what it had been doing, save for generating commentary around the immediate proximity of my apparent need to "get a tan at my desk."
Despite my futile attempts to tell people that I am, in fact, not into UV baking, and don't really care for tanning in England at all, there wasn't much to go on in terms of whether this thing was actually working or not.
Then I realised it was. It really was.
Never in my life have I got such mileage out of one clip. Ever. I have been guffawing over this thing for two days now, and it's not going away. I have been laughing and crying and cheek cramping over this thing to the point where people think I'm actually stoned.
I have had to remove myself from my desk (where the lamp sits) and go to the loo multiple times a day just to compose myself. I'm finding this shit literally amazing, and most people find it funny. Just once.
So if this is what the lamp is doing, then it's fucking working.
In other news, I can now know exactly what my rap music has been saying to me after all these years.
After living in America years and year ago, I literally came back thinking I was black.
Or at the very least, a female replica of Eminem.
He grew up in a trailer in Detroit; I grew up in a Victorian house in Howick, Kwazulu-Natal. Notice how similar our lives were.
I had a deep appreciation for all things gangster, and I even had a puffer jacket.*
All those choonz that would bounce my car down the road, all those awesome choonz I'd rap along to like a flaming retard, I can now literally understand. Word for word.
Rap Genius. A wiki page run by gangsters, for gangsters.
For example, I now know what "Y'all know me, still the same O.G., but I been low key," actually means.
"Warren G was on the streets"= Warren G was riding.
"I'm a bad boy with a lotta hoes" means..literally he's a bad boy with a lotta hoes.
It's been years since I listened to lyrics about Rolex's, Cristal, caviar, hoes and Jags.
Peas: Dude what was your favourite rap song?
American dude: Gotta be Chronic 2001.
Peas: OMG that album was my frigging life.
American dude: Me too. I had just arrived in London and listened to it all the time.
Peas: I had just arrived in Colorado and listened to it all the time.
American dude: I never returned.
Peas: I never stayed.
I might be in PR, but there's still a portion of me that thinks I should've been a rap song writer. On the back of a bus.
* Was when I was writing a song called 'Hummers , Hoes and Humping."