While it's a way to say goodbye to her, I don't ever want to say goodbye to her. I don't ever feel like I have to, why should I? (Can you tell I'm angry now?)
It was good to sit and cry. And it was good to have our families around. But her little casket was so small.
We released some balloons on the river after the service, adding our messages to the ribbons and then that was that.
I feel more empty and depressed now than I felt for ages. Just flat. My mother and stepdad leave the UK next weekend (my mum has been here for two months - and has been such a huge emotional support to me, as well as helping me with Sebastian so much.)
I am not ready to let go. In all aspects.
Releasing balloons for her on the Thames near the crematorium.