Over the last few weeks I have settled in. I am officially loving being a mum.
It may be because he is doing something new almost every day. Or he is now in a little routine where I can read his signals, and he is sleeping. My God my child is sleeping when he needs to sleep!
You have no idea what a difference this makes. Even if he still wakes up at 4am for a feed, I don't care. I even enjoy it it to some extent.
That's right. I even enjoy the 4am feed.
I know. Seriously.
He smiles all the time, and he has started picking up little foibles unique to him. Perhaps it's because I spend 24/7 with him, but I feel like I know my son now. Inside and out.
Speaking to friends in South Africa who also have babies has been interesting. Mainly because most - no all - get help. Domestic help is cheap and easy there. Here? I dread the day I have to go back to work and watch most of my salary disappear into the nanny fund. I still have a few months to go - thank goodness - I am really not ready to give up this Full Time Mummy thing up yet - until we have to start being very careful with our spending. Right up until he starts school.
It's a hard concept. Those overseas holidays and OMG Waitrose foods are going to be few and far between from January.
Fuck. OK backpeddle. Where was I.
One of my friends asked how I do it. "How do you manage to look after Sebastian every hour of the day?"
Well, when you don't have a choice you just do. You get used to it. And the pros are I don't miss a thing. If he starts sitting up or rolling over, guaranteed I'll be the first to see it. The cons are I that I never get an afternoon nap or a regular night out with the husband like you do.
I've gathered already that I have a bit of an eccentric child. (Yay? I think?).
He likes to sleep with his doudou over his head.
He has little security blanket with a head sewn onto it, made of muslin. It's breathable and safe, but to other people when I am walking him around in the pram, it looks as though I am either slightly neglectful or am trying to rear a child who is really into burqas.
He pulls it over his face and that's how he settles himself to sleep. Cute or what? Scary or what?
I have to go and check on him all the time, as you might just imagine.
He's also found himself. Discovery via mirror. And stares and smiles at his reflection while I massage his back.
Gosh, I just love him. *
*Trying to swear less. Mummy might say a few fucks behind his back, but is making a concerted effort not to say fuck anywhere within ear range. And [mostly] winning.