Monday, October 27, 2014


Peas: A large box, enscrawled with 'Asos' has just arrived at our house.

Dove: Nice machaan, you doing some shopping?

Peas: Yes, but shit shopping. I have had to buy myself some clothes.

Dove: Why isn't that nice?

Peas: Because it reminds me that in about 8 weeks, I'll be back at work. And I can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, so I've basically had to buy myself a new wardrobe.

Dove: Hashtag first world problems.

Peas: It's three pairs of enormous trousers, a few smart tops and a coat.

Dove: What is the size of your new pants?

Peas: I was a 10 when I got married. Fast forward almost two years later, and I am sitting in a tight 12, comfortable 14. FUCK.

Dove: [Sad face]

Peas: So I've had to get a bunch of new trousers, as I've been told my child bearing hips will never fit into my old pants again.

Dove: What?

Peas: My hips are like the opening of the gates of Troy.


And apparently they'll never go back.

Which is GREAT news.

Dove: I'm sure they must. Look at the celebrities.

Peas: The celebs must have some kind of vice grip surgery.

Dove: Um, what's a vice grip?

Peas: The jaws of life. That thing that opens and closes car wreckages. Giant, hydraulic, steel calipers.



Dove: Oh. Those.


MeeA said...

Ah, Peas. It's not that bad.
And it's also not true that you won't get into your pre-pregnancy trousers again. Yes, your hips will forever be a bit wider than they were before you had babies but you can totally get back into your size pre-pregnancy pants. Promise.
If I can do it after 4 babies, anyone can do it.
Also, you get to look forward to more shopping when it happens. :-)

Peas on Toast said...

MeeA, after 4 babies you are amazing for getting into your pants. Wowzers lady, huge respect! x