Monday, January 11, 2016


Perhaps I'm just a liddle bit grumpy, perhaps it's because today was the second time I've fainted on the tube in a matter of weeks (I've become one of 'those' people. A person responsible for the delay of a train because I have to flail my way off, and onto the platform to recover. It's getting a bit tiresome.) Nonetheless, social media is REALLY STARTING TO GET UP MY GOAT.

This is a no-brainer, but I'm kind of sick of seeing this angry, festering debacle all over my news feed. There are a lot of stupid people out there, who say stupid things, and somehow think it isn't going to get a reaction.
When you post something, good or bad, people go mad. There's no context, no tone, and it can spark an unprecedented backlash. Sometimes it's deserved. Sometimes it's not. But I am kind of tired of seeing issues conflate into massive, heated arguments that are inescapable.

There are refugees desperately trying to rehome themselves. There's a drought and climate change happening on this Earth that is, frankly, terrifying. David Bowie died, for fuck's sake.
There are massive things happening in the world that need attention, but no, everyone has to have their special opinion on this, which isn't helping the problem!

With everything else going on in this world, there are people openly hating on each other because they are DIFFERENT. Because they see the world differently; because they have different colour skins.

And what's more, is that the corrupt, money-guzzling toad that is the president of South Africa is LOVING all of this, because it takes all of the heat off him and the ZumaMustFall campaign, making all of his heinous, bullshit crimes seem somewhat less of a crime.

For the love of Christ - and this is directed at some of the English people I am acquainted with - it's YOU'RE not YOUR.

"Your so funny!" Oh my God, how many TIMES a day do I see this? Like, 4 or 5?

"I was laying down. I should lay down."  No. Go and LIE down. And think about what you just said.

I could go on, but it's actually making my eyeball twitch. The grammar that pops out of the page at me is nothing short of appalling. And I'm not even including text speak in this. Let's not even go there. Because that's not even a language.

Why so much? Why? Why is it everywhere?

I want go on a complete barrage where I basically wake up, and instead of ignoring it, go absolutely MENTAL one day. Where I correct everything I see with a *you're and a *lie down to the point where all of these people just unfriend me immediately. So that 1) I've taught them a fucking lesson and 2) I don't have to see their crimes against grammar anymore.

Just take my red pen qwerty keyboard and open a can of whipass all over their memes, comments, status updates.

Too much? (Told you I was grumpy).

Why are there so many sponsored fake stories everywhere?
"Kate Middleton gives William the middle finger over Christmas lunch with the Queen."
"Kate Middleton pregnant already! With triplets!"
"Woman watches her husband die, but you won't believe what happens next."

Annoying. Fuck. Off.

People you have to be friends with
There is a small group - maybe 10%? - of people you have to befriend, perhaps because they're part of your family, or part of your husband's family, or they're work colleagues, or friends of friends that you'll see and it'll be awkward.
There's no getting around it, you have to just chin it with some people.

You do your annual cull, and as much as you want to unfriend or unfollow, you can't. Because you need to know what they're up to. (Or do you?) And perhaps they spew stupid shit all day long, which just makes it worse.


I saw something like this today. And had to tie my hands behind my back to avoid writing a response that went something like,
"Well yes, you dumb fuck. But check *your* spelling, and also if *you're* on the cocaine four times a week, you might as well be caning the aspartame as well. Surely it's negligible after all the Class A drugs you take?"

But you can't. Because he's your cousin. Or your husband's friend. Or your best friend's brother.

Or the person who changes their profile picture to a new selfie every second day.
Oh how I wish I could just say, "I've just been through some of your holiday snaps. And sadly no pictures of scenery, only pictures of your face. Got anything more interesting to share from your trip to Greece?"

But you can't. Because it's your sister-in-law. Or your brother's new girlfriend.

I should say that Facebook, is generally, annoying me immensely at the moment.
But in fact, humanity is. People who use it. Who don't think. Or who think too much.

Hell is other people.

PS: The caveat here, of course, is that it's January in London. And what makes it worse is seeing the plethora of pictures captioned as "CAPE TOWN BEING A BABE" or the overused, "ANOTHER SHIT DAY IN AFRICA" to a background of Savanna Lights on a balcony overlooking Clifton 4 or the mich-used, "CAPE TOWN SHOWING OFF AGAIN!"
The sea of blue juxtaposed to my sea of grey does a grumpy woman maketh.

So if I'm being a little OTT on the social vibe, please bear in mind that I fainted on a group of strangers in a tube carriage filled with stoic, grey sardines, and that it looks like this outside:


Marcio Goncalves said...

I'm sorry that "your" feeling kind of off... but this was fucking hilarious. "your" so funny Peas. Haha! :)

Val said...

Funny post! Agree with you on the Facebook selfies though! Annoys the hell out of me.

btw Cape Town is looking beautiful today! :)

Nicole M said...
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Nicole M said...

And this is why I refuse to take the tube every day - granted, I have a choice and I choose to walk from the overground station to work...I realise not everyone has this choice and, as I know you live in the ham of Clap, I know you dont, so I am sorry that your ride to work was a disaster and that you may have had to touch the disgusting train floor with anything other than the underside of your shoes. If it makes you feel any better, it took me over 2 hours to get to Sevenoaks last night because *someone* was ill on a train at New Cross - some. one. was. sick. and they delayed every single train going out of London Bridge for the rest of the evening. like seriously, WTF!

Also, the sun is shining a little bit at the moment - little rays of happiness! *tande* :D

Bug Eyed said...

Aah....those pesky first world problems hey ;-)

Andy G. said...

I love your writing!

Coffee and Books Cape Town said...

Spot on!!
The SQ * is reaching an all time high. Stick to YOUR guns (and your standards) though.

*SQ=Stupidity Quotient

Coffee and Books Cape Town said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Peas on Toast said...

Thanks everyone for your comments?

Is it February yet??!