Wednesday, March 16, 2016

the tantrum

The Brit and I are fairly shaken.

We think- think - we've experienced an official tantrum. Like, a real one. For the first time.

I mean, I'm shaking as I write this, and I wonder if we're actually up for the job.

It's no coincidence that Sebastian turns two in a week, and something cataclysmically seems to have happened at precisely this time which makes it suspiciously coincidental.

Imagine our surprise when what we used to think was a tantrum: a bit of whining, and stomping of feet for maybe 2-5 minutes, some exaggerated crying and general protest because he's not getting a biscuit, actually turns out not to be a tantrum at all.  

Holy mother of fuck. 

Can whoever took my child in the night and replaced him with the devil incarnate, please bring him back? Oh dear God, please may we have the pre-2 Sebastian back?

(Can he at least be exorcised?)

Last night, at about 11pm, just as we drifting into that lovely deep, REM state of rest, he woke up. Got up to soothe him, in robotic half-sleep mode, only to have him rear up like a cobra and start screaming, thrashing to the point where we had to lie him on the floor in the lounge because he wouldn't let us touch him, and we were afraid that he was going to injure himself.

Thrashing, screaming (in such a manner that makes you want to throw a plate against a wall), trying to bite us and himself, for a solid forty minutes. While we desperately Googled "what is happening" "my two year old has gone insane is this normal" and "when to take your child to the emergency room is this an emergency what is an emergency define emergency."

Eventually, he burnt out at midnight and we carried him to bed, passed out cold. We wondered what on Earth had happened and kind of looked at each other with the kind of expression I'd use after witnessing something really traumatic unfold before me, like a train wreck or a nutter having a manic episode on a train.

We wondered if it was night terrors. Then fell asleep exhausted.

This morning, same thing. Refused to put his shoes on, be touched, thrashing and rolling around on the floor, screaming, trying to rip his trousers off.

Got in late to work as we couldn't leave the house, and diametrically opposite to Monday's feelings of guilt. couldn't get him to nursery fast enough today.

"Help us!" I implored when I got there, haggered and wondering if there was a priest around with rose water and a crucifix. "Help me, my child is imploding. Is this normal? Someone tell me this is a once off...please."

Apparently this, this, is what people mean when they refer to the terrible twos. A roaring, not-to-be-consoled child who just has to let it all out while you sit somewhere near him in the hope he doesn't hurt himself.

I mean, I can't even say what ticked him off - it might've been asking him if he'd like to get dressed, or maybe because I was wearing a white shirt, or maybe I put the toothpaste wrong on his toothbrush.

Maybe it's because he has been ill, maybe it's because his molars are coming out. I don't know. I just hope to fuck that this isn't a once-a-day thing, I just couldn't possibly cope.

Hashtag flailing through the dark, one parenting milestone after the next.



Sheena Kretzmer said...

Oh sweet Lord, please, please, please let the tantrumming fairy pass right the fuck over my house. This sounds terrifying. What do you even do in this situation? Pre-mom me was all "oh, but I'll just smack him and he'll never do it again, worked for *my* mom." but Actual-mom me looks at my little darling and cannot ever fathom smacking his angel bum.

Sorry, Peas, hope he forgets he's capable of this. Thinking of you!

churchaholic said...

Panic not this will pass, it's a] early onset terrible twos and b] you being pregnant means he is no longer the sole planet that you orbit - believe me he knows he no longer has 110% of your attention.

If it's any consolation my youngest has just turned 14 and I dream of turning the clock back 12 years!

The Chantal said...

Wow! I've never seen a tantrum before, sounds horrifying! Soooo weird, why do they do that..... is that the age the body starts to produce hormones :P

Good luck with that. Hope it passes soon.

Bug Eyed said...

Wow, on the one hand that is a tantrum, but on the other, the fact that he appears to be that angry or frustrated that he's trying to bite himself or you sounds terrifying. Has there been any change in behaviour at daycare? Might be worth asking. The being pregnant thing is proven to affect first born's behaviour, but it wouldn't be right to just put it down to that.

Peas on Toast said...

Sheena - yeah he was really struggling and I literally have no idea how to handle it. He wasn't trying to be naughty, but also no way to control it it seems but to let him ride it out. Eek!

churchaholic - super reassuring words, thank you! Although, those teenage years are something I fear all the time...Good luck!

Chan - it feels like it! I was told it's also meant to be part of his development, so it's a natural thing he needs to do. I just hope this doesn't happen too often because, eish!

Bug - he was definitely frustrated, and I think it's because he has been ill, but even so, wow it was scary. I have also spoken to his nursery and they seem to think all is normal. I'm just not sure!

Val said...

How often have I said this, but hang in there (again) Peas! This, too, shall pass.
Holding thumbs it doesn't last long.

Bug Eyed said... the risk of making too much of it, in my experience, I learnt a long time ago to trust your instinct. No doctor, specialist, professional or great Aunt Sofie can say you're wrong if your gut instinct says there's a problem. It's there for a reason as a mother and they most definitely DO NOT know better than you when it comes to your own child.

Many a time I have refused to accept what they said, to be proven correct when I insisted there was a problem. My son turns 24 next month. To this day, I'm grateful I didn't listen to anyone when I wasn't 100 percent sure that something wasn't as it should be. That's the bugger about parenthood, there's no handbook and instinct is all you have.

That said, I truly hope that it was because he was unwell.