stupid fun

Was having a fat chortle chortle with C and Martha Stewart last night over a glass of wine. Why? This is why:



Joburg is small right. But right now it's so small it's actually a cosmic joke. And as a result, this place is starting to freak us out. To the point where for shits and giggles therapy we drew a “Joburg Circle of Incestuous Behaviour.” God it was fun. And scary. Most of the people we know were written down in a circle and then with different coloured markers, we linked everyone to everyone. It wasn't difficult. Jeez it's an easy crowd, hey.

Blue – just a snog; Yellow – one night shag; Green – multiple napovers; Red – more than 3 weeks; Black – no action napover; Blue – engaged; Lime – dating, Orange – crush factor only. Let's put it this way - it was a very colourful diagramme once we were done, as you can see.
And we only know the half of it.

We've advised Martha Stewart to try and avoid being sucked into the slippery slope that is this circle(s). But it may be impossible to avoid randomly kissing an ex's cousin's once removed fiancée, who slept with my boyfriend's ex's cousin's ex, for example. It's impossible to snog just a random nowadays. Let's be honest. This is Alabama Johannesburg.

We've been wanting to do this for ages, so it was a real little knee slapper. Dodgier than the Bowling Club's Seafood Surprise.

Speaking of which - who, evah, orders seafood from dodgy inland restaurants? I was told of a dude who ordered the Seafood Surprise at the Zoo Lake Bowling Club. Not the calamari, not the crumbed hake, the seafood surprise. No kidding.

Who does that? Somebody did that. That is another kind of funny, I laughed hey. Ten out of ten for balls. Seafood...Surprise! You Will Have E Coli Before The End Of The Evening! What's in a Seafood Surprise anyway – did he even ask? (“Bits of plankton, an old takkie, three year old calamari and a green prawn?”) He did spend the rest of the week over a bucket, or so I'm told.

Then there was the dude who ordered prawns in Polokwane. I mean, come on. He was on a business trip with all his other number crunching colleagues, and ended up painting the bus a colourful shade of Polokwane Prawn on the way home. I mean, was this a challenge? Did someone bait these guys? (“Bet you won't order the seafood.” “Bet you I will...”)

C and I rolled around on the floor giggling so much, we had tears running down our cheeks.