This competition takes on four categories. Numero Uno? Thee Most Hardcore Thing You Have Ever Done.
Smuggled a hefty little hash stash through the Mozambican border. On a train. Which gives you a false sense of security, what with no x-ray machines around. But deepest, darkest Africa may have caught on that it grows the greatest hydroponics on Earth. "Malawi Gold." So. This time, the customs/border post officials get on the train and serach our bags. I managed, with one hand, to get the stash out of my backpack pocket, while they were looking through Steve's stuff, into a neat little bodily crevice (not my genitalia, dont worry), while breaking out in a dare I say it - tsunami-style sweat. They wanted to body search us, but we refused. You can bribe in Africa, so we did. Glad we did. Cos Mozambican jails are up there with Mexican and Thai jails. Never get out alive.
(I speak on behalf of)
About two years ago, we went to a party, but because we have no reliable bloody public transport here, a lot of Saffers drive drunk. It's bad, and we are all guilty for it. A serious problem really. Steve was a helluva lot more sober than myself, so drove. Got pulled over - at about 1:30 am. Cops were being very cocky. Opened his boot to find loads of alcohol in there, that we didn't drink. Searched the car, then threw him in the back of the cop car. Me=Oh My God. Without asking me anything, they told me to follow them in his car. I was still shitfaced, but anyway. They put him in a cell til he sobered up the next morning. And gave him lots of hell for it. But this isn't actually that hardcore. So I win so far. Yeeha.