Wednesday, January 26, 2005

meet the pie-eater

On the way home from my weary paperwork-filled day yesterday, I stopped in at mum's for a cuppa tea and a kind word. She wasn't there, so I let myself in, made some tea and stood on her scale. EEEK. Shit. To escalate my day I weigh 69 kgs. That's frigging enormous. I know I put on a couple of pounds - and I blame Richard for that, because I was miserable, but 69 kgs? WTF?
So am on diet. Because jeans are almost splitting at the sides and I feel like a glob of lard.
As I write, I tuck into a delicious portion of Cup Noodles. I can't go cold turkey! It's a process and I'm going to beat the Fat Demon. Slowly but surely.

I need advice. Khali is a boosy person. She shouldn't really boss me around since she is a PA. I get annoyed when I'm bossed around because it interferes with my rebelious bucking authority streak. It usually goes something like this:
Laurian: "So, Jo, have you designed the ad yet? Because we need..."
Khali: "LAURIAN! Have you written that thing yet?
Laurian: (Ignoring her) So Jo, what..."
Khali: Laurian, rather put that in the ad.
What I really want to say is: "Fuck off. I'm not even addressing you and what the hell do you know about that anyway??"
(She graduated last year and tries to run the wntire office.)

Give me some comebacks if she asks me to why I'm doing something/Interrupts my conversations (arrrgh!)/ Insults me/Takes the prize for work I did/etc.
It's driving me bonkers and Im scared I'm going to hurl my Cup Noodles on her head.

Am I being completely over the top Virgo-anal? You vcan be honest. Because I don't know you and won't throw Cup Noodle on your head. Promise.


Third World Ant said...

ok, you do know me, so i might be genuinely scared you'd through cup noodle on my head. but, i'm a plucky little lass so i'll tell you this: you're more impatient and intolerant of some peeps than most peeps are, but so what? a) it makes for entertaining reading. b) it makes good excuses for a few extra G&T's every week. c) i trust your judgement - if she sux, then she sux dood! d) what's this about ballooning in weight? i saw you the other day and you looked fine, and i doubt that things have changed muich since then. fyi: when people ask what my new year's resolution is i tell them i want to get fat. you should see their reactions! priceless!

Peas on Toast said...

Ta dood. I'm really glad you don't think I'm fat. But I'm taking drastic measures - I'm actually going for a run tonight. I haven't done that since third year varsity. It's gonna be tough. And I had no idea I was more intolerant of people than others. Hectic! Maybe I am. She's not a bad person, just extremely irritating. Anyway, glad you told me. If you never see a blog from me again, assume I died on my run. xxx

B said...

Don't die on your run. That would make things much less entertaining on your blogs, and its fun to read them sometimes. And I'm almost positive you are not fat... I mean, cmon, how can you tell me to have more self-confidence if you don't have it for yourself? Start telling yourself you're fat when you actually are... like if you weigh like 80 or more kg, then you start to have thoughts like that. But 59 kg is not that bad... the average US girl weighs around that.

As for this queen bitch named Khali... might as well chuck the cup o noodles on her head. It would prove entertaining. When she does crap like that, say stuff like "Excuse me, but who died and made you the boss of me?" or "Quit being an ignorant little brat (I would insert bitch instead of brat here, but whatever floats yer boat). Can't you see I have more important things to do than mess with trash like you?" and other things. You are acting perfectly fine; its the little bitch that keeps being annoying that is the root of the problem. That and I don't think you can chuck noodles that far away and hit me in the head...

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks B :). No I'm not that fat. Had a bad Fat Day. I'm just a little pudgy at the seams, but I'm sorting it out! Running is the key. Let's see how far I get.