Tuesday, January 11, 2005

this is what happened

So you're probably wondering who richard is and the saga around that. I'm going to summarise this.
I have a boyfriend, his name is steve. I love him and we live together in an awesome flat near Rosebank.
Three years ago we went to Colorado to work in a ski resort. Was kick-ass. Met this other South African, Richard there. We were instantly drawn to each other in a room. I have NEVER felt so magnetised to a person in my life. It was INSANE. Chemistry of note. When we had a conversation, the whole world disappeared? Was this my fault? No! I could not HELP feeling like this, despite the fact that I loved Steve. Anyway, left Colorado, came back to SA and got on with my life. Never stopped thinking about Richard for two and a half years. To me, he was insanely beuatiful, amazing.
Decided to contact him. How do I know that he isn't the person I'm meant to be with?? I'm not married.
When we met it felt like I'd known him for years. Slightly arrogant, but cute. I really, really liked him.
In a nutshell: Started seeing R on the side for six months. I'm a horrible person and am going to hell, but it had to be done. And I couldnt really break up with Steve, because I loved him too. Although Steve and I went through a rough patch, obviously my fault, he moved out and in a few times because I didnt know what the fuck I wanted.
Richard never pressurised me to leave Steve in the beginning because I thought we had an understanding. Then he started saying how he wanted me all to himself and wanted me to be his girlfreind etc. Got very stressful. Bouncing between tow men. I fell in love with Richard.
When he heard, before Christmas that I hadnt left steve and that steve and I are going to zanzibar in march, he became an asshole and then stopped talking to me. Flat out. If he'd loved me he wouldve faught harder for me. I felt a serious sense of loss. I still miss him terribly. aLlthough stseve and i are getting back on track, I dont have to lie so much anymore and Im being a moral person. I still miss him.
His friends told me I was very special to him, which is rare apparently and sopek about me all the time.

1 comment:

London Browser said...

Youre a bitch and you know it, theres no excuse for two timing someone, so yes you probably are going to hell. Its people like you that fuck this world up.