Wednesday, February 23, 2005

small talk vs eating 5 kgs of spinach

I performed a human experiement at work. If you really want to read it, it's on my other blog: laurianclem.blogspot.com

I'm going to a friend's boyfriends birthday party tonight. I'm about as excited for it as sucking shit through a straw right now. We're all collaborating at Color Bar, whcih at least is a fab little spot, but this friend of mine I actually haven't seen since...oh it's been months. Nice girl, we studied at UCT together, however, just kind of drifted apart. Different lives, different priorities.

And I hardly know the boyfriend. But maybe I should just pull myself towards myself and enjoy it.
It's just that....don't you hate having to make small talk all evening??
"So how's work?"
"What have you been up to for the last...8 months?"
"How's your mum?"
"Canapes? Hmmm, they're really nice. Yes. So. Do you like sushi?"
"John Smith from uni? Nope doesn't ring a bell, sorry. We studied together? Really?"
"Where'd I get my shoes? If I told you, I'd be crucifying my individuality, sorry."
"Have you cut your hair? Get out! Last year already?"
"Your boyfreind's name is Floyd?? Get the fuck out of town?"
"Been to Cape Town recently on business?"
"Off to get another drinkie! Still drinking like a fish, yes I am!"
"The last time we talked, it was about our diets. No I'm not talking Fat Attack tablets anymore.You? Yes? You can really tell, promise!"
"Sorry for not keeping in touch. Life has just been so...hectically full..of nothing in particular?"
"The last party we were at together, you were hitting on my boyfriend, and I was hitting on Martin..our very standard Guy Friend. Hmmm."
"Yes I'm still living in Dunkeld West/am a journalist/am attached/am boring"

OK I'm really fucking dreading this.

4 comments:

Binsk said...

There is not much I hate more than "small talk". Poor you.

Paperslut said...

"sucking shit through a straw"

Too graphic. Best of luck with the small talk.

Blog ho said...

pretend you have tourettes?

Peas on Toast said...

Robin - I know. I had three drinks then ran out of there as fast as my legs could carry me.

Wonderwall - sometimes graphic is nice. live with it.

Ho - "How's your [shit, fuck, pisshead] grandmother doing?" That'll ensure I never get an invite again. yaaaaaay!!!