I love AOL instant messenger. Especially when you have random conversations, like this one, with an old friend: (I am redlori.)
redlori: why hello there.
Sshhaarrk: Hello - long time no type!
Sshhaarrk: Want to see your buddy's cool new IM icon? Go to http://buddies.funbuddyicons.com/?ZSYYYYYYYYZA
redlori: uh...woah..information overload...
redlori: whats new? and don’t say nothing
Sshhaarrk: Me tired. need a holiday
redlori: what you working on today?
Sshhaarrk: Cell C and Toyota.
redlori: Cell C in trouble again?
Sshhaarrk: Not any more, thanks to us!
redlori: its not like they got a fair chance, using Vodacom’s towers and all.
Sshhaarrk: Steve enjoying Sasol is he?
redlori: apparently not. he's in the Capital today. Good old Sasolburg itself
Sshhaarrk: Ah. Can only be fun
redlori: can you think of a worse place on earth? Because I can’t.
Sshhaarrk: How far is that from Joburg - 2hrs or so?
redlori: The only worse place has to be Verwoerdburg and that doesnt even exist anymore
Sshhaarrk: Maybe Ouagadougo
redlori: ok..erm yes… maybe that place.
Sshhaarrk: I thought that was pretty shite
redlori: where is that? in Australia?
Sshhaarrk: Burkina Faso, West Africa.
redlori: right. Ever been to Lagos? am dying to see it. just to say that i have hung out in Nigeria. not many people get to say that.
Sshhaarrk: Nah – I keep my dealers local
redlori: another bad place:
Sshhaarrk: That is true
Sshhaarrk: Hotazell is also a terrible place.
redlori: It’s the longest name in SA
Sshhaarrk: You are kidding - never heard of it
redlori: "I killed two buffaloes very dead with one bullet - fountain."
redlori: It’s in the karoo somewhere.
redlori: Commonly known as tweebuffels because the latter turned out to be a little verbose.
Sshhaarrk: When you off to Zanzibar?
redlori: on the 18th. It cannot come quickly enough
Sshhaarrk: It is just around the corner. Just over 2 weeks. I am extremely jealous
redlori: I know. got our yellow fever shots on saturday.
redlori: my arm is bruised as hell, steve doesn’t have a scratch! cost R450 for one shot. how crazy is that?
redlori: ouch. Touché.
Sshhaarrk: Don't loose that card they gave you with it!
redlori: good point. where the fuck did I put it??! better look for it when i get home.
redlori: imagine if I had to get two shots cos I lost the card! And then i STILL broke out in yellow fever, whatever that is. Say, is ougadouga near Douala?
Sshhaarrk: I remember when I was in Mali they had some dodgy dude with a dirty white overcoat, on which he had clearly drawn his red cross on. he was checking cards - BELIEVE me you did not want him to give you a shot at the airport! He had a selection of very used needles to choose from... Treat that card like GOLD
redlori: ooh lovely. yes, best I got it here in JHB
redlori: So, is Ougadouga near Douala?
Sshhaarrk: Could be. Doesn't sound familiar
redlori: Right. Cos I saw a cheap flight to Douala at Rosebank Travel Agency for R600
redlori: Not bad, hey? But then....where and what the hell is “Douala” anyway? cheap holiday! you cant get to Durban in a car for that amount.
Sshhaarrk: Could be a lovely place
redlori: "I want to take leave guys." "Oh where you going Laurian?" "Douala. In the back end of Cameroon." R600! Lets go! Let’s get a group together and wing it for the weekend! cheep cheep!
Sshhaarrk: One of those character building experiences. TRUST ME
redlori: hit deepest darkest africa for a long weekend
Sshhaarrk: If you speak a bit of French you should be ok
redlori: we can hide out in the hotel, or we can buy an AK 47 to share and head out "to market"
redlori: I do speak french!
Sshhaarrk: There we go!
redlori: how convenient!
Sshhaarrk: You will be married within 15 min of arrival.
redlori: Married? Why?
Sshhaarrk: White french speaking = very exotic
redlori: yeah, but I may need to consent first if I’m getting married right?
redlori: Not like "You will marry me bitch" then I have to?
Sshhaarrk: Dunno - have not been in that situation
redlori: ill keep my passport in my fanny pack
Sshhaarrk: Good idea
redlori: when I say fanny pack, I mean the American fanny pack. what a nasty nasty name. why not...."twinkie pack?"
Sshhaarrk: Could have commented on that but it would have been too easy
redlori: "fnoo pack?"
Sshhaarrk: like that one
redlori: "Nonny pack."
redlori: Or maybe....just.....Pack.
And so it went.