Wednesday, March 02, 2005

random conversation

I love AOL instant messenger. Especially when you have random conversations, like this one, with an old friend: (I am redlori.)

redlori: why hello there.
Sshhaarrk: Hello - long time no type!
Sshhaarrk: Want to see your buddy's cool new IM icon? Go to

redlori: uh...woah..information overload...
Sshhaarrk: lol
redlori: whats new? and don’t say nothing
Sshhaarrk: Me tired. need a holiday
redlori: what you working on today?
Sshhaarrk: Cell C and Toyota.
redlori: Cell C in trouble again?
Sshhaarrk: Not any more, thanks to us!
redlori: its not like they got a fair chance, using Vodacom’s towers and all.
Sshhaarrk: Steve enjoying Sasol is he?
redlori: apparently not. he's in the Capital today. Good old Sasolburg itself
Sshhaarrk: Ah. Can only be fun
redlori: can you think of a worse place on earth? Because I can’t.
Sshhaarrk: How far is that from Joburg - 2hrs or so?
redlori: The only worse place has to be Verwoerdburg and that doesnt even exist anymore
Sshhaarrk: Maybe Ouagadougo
redlori: ok..erm yes… maybe that place.
Sshhaarrk: I thought that was pretty shite
redlori: where is that? in Australia?
Sshhaarrk: Burkina Faso, West Africa.
redlori: right. Ever been to Lagos? am dying to see it. just to say that i have hung out in Nigeria. not many people get to say that.
Sshhaarrk: Nah – I keep my dealers local
redlori: seriously.
Sshhaarrk: lol
redlori: another bad place:
redlori: Hekpoort.
Sshhaarrk: That is true
Sshhaarrk: Hotazell is also a terrible place.
redlori: And:
redlori: Tweebuffelsmeteenskootmorsdoodgeskietfontein
redlori: It’s the longest name in SA
Sshhaarrk: You are kidding - never heard of it
redlori: "I killed two buffaloes very dead with one bullet - fountain."
Sshhaarrk: ah
redlori: It’s in the karoo somewhere.
redlori: Commonly known as tweebuffels because the latter turned out to be a little verbose.
Sshhaarrk: When you off to Zanzibar?
redlori: on the 18th. It cannot come quickly enough
Sshhaarrk: It is just around the corner. Just over 2 weeks. I am extremely jealous
redlori: I know. got our yellow fever shots on saturday.
redlori: my arm is bruised as hell, steve doesn’t have a scratch! cost R450 for one shot. how crazy is that?
Sshhaarrk: Ouch
redlori: ouch. Touché.
Sshhaarrk: Don't loose that card they gave you with it!
redlori: good point. where the fuck did I put it??! better look for it when i get home.
redlori: imagine if I had to get two shots cos I lost the card! And then i STILL broke out in yellow fever, whatever that is. Say, is ougadouga near Douala?
Sshhaarrk: I remember when I was in Mali they had some dodgy dude with a dirty white overcoat, on which he had clearly drawn his red cross on. he was checking cards - BELIEVE me you did not want him to give you a shot at the airport! He had a selection of very used needles to choose from... Treat that card like GOLD
redlori: ooh lovely. yes, best I got it here in JHB
redlori: So, is Ougadouga near Douala?
Sshhaarrk: Could be. Doesn't sound familiar
redlori: Right. Cos I saw a cheap flight to Douala at Rosebank Travel Agency for R600
redlori: Not bad, hey? But then....where and what the hell is “Douala” anyway? cheap holiday! you cant get to Durban in a car for that amount.
Sshhaarrk: Could be a lovely place
redlori: "I want to take leave guys." "Oh where you going Laurian?" "Douala. In the back end of Cameroon." R600! Lets go! Let’s get a group together and wing it for the weekend! cheep cheep!
Sshhaarrk: One of those character building experiences. TRUST ME
redlori: hit deepest darkest africa for a long weekend
Sshhaarrk: If you speak a bit of French you should be ok
redlori: we can hide out in the hotel, or we can buy an AK 47 to share and head out "to market"
redlori: I do speak french!
Sshhaarrk: There we go!
redlori: how convenient!
Sshhaarrk: You will be married within 15 min of arrival.
redlori: Married? Why?
Sshhaarrk: White french speaking = very exotic
redlori: yeah, but I may need to consent first if I’m getting married right?
Sshhaarrk: right
redlori: Not like "You will marry me bitch" then I have to?
Sshhaarrk: Dunno - have not been in that situation
redlori: ill keep my passport in my fanny pack
Sshhaarrk: Good idea
redlori: when I say fanny pack, I mean the American fanny pack. what a nasty nasty name. why not...."twinkie pack?"
Sshhaarrk: Could have commented on that but it would have been too easy
redlori: "fnoo pack?"
Sshhaarrk: like that one
redlori: "Nonny pack."
redlori: Or maybe....just.....Pack.

And so it went.


Ed Abbey said...

I did not understand what was so nasty about calling it a 'fanny' pack until I tried to google and see who really invented it. Didn't find the answer but I did discover what those Brits refer to when they say 'fanny'. Maybe the American use of 'fanny' is an unconscious way of slamming our former rulers before we roughed them up for trying to tax our tea, which we subsequently don't drink anymore.

Peas on Toast said...

Yip, our fanny is the equivalent of the American female genitalia. We find this quite halarious. "Butt pack" or "Ass Pack" is what we call an, erm, [giggle] fanny pack. And why, why do you not find a cup of Earl Grey as delicious as we do???? Honestly, you're completely missing out mate!

Lola said...

I was always quite disturbed at the mention of a fanny pack when I was in the US. So I got myself a 'Triple 5 Soul' butt bag and made sure everyone knew that that is what it was called. he he.

Two | Face said...

In Dutch it's called heuptasje which translates to hipbag. I think the fanny pack is the best. I once got an alternative at a camping shop it was a bag of some kind which you could wair over your shoulder under your cloths.

Binsk said...

Well that's interesting news. You just never know what you are saying!

Ed Abbey said...

Ironically enough, the fanny pack turns out to be invented by an African. The article is pretty long so I posted the link as well as an excerpt. Read on:

When Ann Moore was a Peace Corps nurse in Togo, West Africa, in the 1960s, she was intrigued by the way African mothers carried their babies in fabric slings tied to their backs. "The babies were so calm because they felt secure and close to their mothers," says Moore. "So when I came home and had my first baby, I wanted so much to carry my daughter the way I had seen the African babies being carried."

Moore's experience in Africa was the first step in a journey that led her to invent the original soft baby carrier--the Snugli®--as well as other kinds of specialized carrying cases......

In 1986, at the request of a respiratory therapist, Ann began designing backpacks and fanny packs for carrying liquid oxygen cylinders. The packs feature mesh and air holes to safely carry the cylinders, which contain highly-flammable liquid. The packs make it possible for oxygen-dependent people to carry their oxygen more easily--and thus allow them to walk, hike, garden, and live much more active lives.

Ed Abbey said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ed Abbey said...

Let me try again.

matchbox said...

hey hey
god its been ages how you doing mate? hope lifes not throwing so much crap at you as it is me at the moment! anwyayz im really back this time so i hope alls well with you!!take it easy xxx

Ed Abbey said...

Oops. It was an American in Africa. I should have read the entire thing first. It was us stupid Yanks after all.

Nettie said...

Figures it was one of we Americansw to invent something as weird as that...