Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I was ready to walk away yesterday. Between the crying and incessant anxiety - we had a "meeting" Steve and I to decided what to finally do.
I left thinking that this was it, time to move on. He found me much later and we chatted some more. WE realised this:
1) He was acting like a complete asshole
2) WE were both ignoring each others needs
3) He needs to compliment me more
4) We need to have more sex. We really really do
5) WE need maintenance. Our relationship has slid to complete oblivion because we really haven't maintained it
6) We need to dedicate one night a week to just us. NO cellphones, no TV, just us.
7) We need to love each other. And before then, we were just taking each other for granted.

So we may be alright. I say may, because I don't know. I don't know even if I have made the right decision. I'm still confused and upset. I just don't know. I can only hope that I'm not prolonging the inevitable. But as Seinfeld says, "Relationships are like soft drink vending machines - you need to rock them back and forth until they finally fall over."

All I know is that for the last fours days I felt like I was dying. That's got to mean something right?


Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i think that you're talking and recognizing there is a problem is a HUGE STEP. doesn't mean it will work out, doesn't mean you are right for each other, but does show you're both mature enough to understand something needs to be done about this. give it an honest try, put your heart into it, cuz it also could mean he is the one, but you're going to need to work at it and it sounds like he's willing

Ed Abbey said...

I guess I can say what I am about to say because even though I know you blogging wise, we are complete strangers. (A friend probably couldn't say it.) I've read your blog for around six months now and you and Steve had gone through this all more times than I can count. You are alternately irate at him for something he did and then you always end up rekindling things.... at least until the next episode. A true relationship isn't a yo-yo but is steady. Someday, you will have to realize that Steve is Steve and he isn't going to change, just like you are you and not likely to change. You either have to accept this or get on with life. You said it yourself that it was so hard after five years of this relationship. Think of what it will be like in another five years....

Peas on Toast said...

Janie and ED

THanks guys. Yip it is a risk, Ans sadly over the last year since I've had my blog, our relationship has been a yo yo. A lot of it has to do with me ex, who is out of the pic now for good luckily.

I don't know. I can only try.

Stephanie said...

Good luck, Laurian. Its admirable to try and I hope that things work out. Just remember that you are worth far more than what you are currently getting. If it doesn't get better, you owe it to yourself to leave. Take care! xx

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Steph. I know I deserve better, and if it doesn't happen - at leat I know I put it out there.

Stephanie said...

Do what you have to do. :) Take care of yourself. xx

Binsk said...

Just try to breathe Laurian. See how your new plan of attack works, give it a chance and if it doesn't then you can move on.

Good luck.

Blog ho said...

cut the jackass loose.