So this is the thick and thin of it:
My probation period report-back (3 months) happened on Thursday. Everything is fine except for one large problem - and it is large: I haven't got the structure, style and form of writing of the publication I work for.
As a result, myself and my boss and the ever-backstabbing-thought-she-was-on-my-side editor decided that my probation period be extended until October (2 months) and if nothing comes of it, I leave the company.
If I leave the company, I cannot get another job just yet because it would look like I'm job hopping. I would need an excuse, and therefore I would need to fuck off outta here and go and travel. But in the meantime, I actually quite like what I do here. And I'm rather traumatised by the string of events.
Plus I would have to sell the car I just bought, after two repayments.
So, for the next two months, I'm going to be living in a conscious state of pure Hell. Rising to the challeneg of retraining myself, making sure my writing is award-winning (and its not), while trying to get some sleep.
Tossing and turning every night is not helping me.
So yes, once again, God craps all over my head.
11 comments:
Sorry that things aren't going well. Have they at least offered you some guidance on structure/style/form? It doesn't sound like they are very supportive. If it makes any difference, I think you are great. :)
Firstly, thanks everyone who commented on my last post.
They are offering me guidance, it's just hard right now. I have no idea what's going to happen to me to be honest and it scares the hell out of me.
Steph - thanks sweetheart. I only hope I can get it. The pressure I tell you...
You absolutely can do this hon. What's really important is that you don't start doubting your ability. You are a very talented writer - as your career so far and even this blog has proved - and you inevitably have developed a style that's unique to you. There is nothing more frustrating (believe me, I know) than an editor who just doesn't accept that, and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with the way you do things, just that he's the boss, which sucks. But it is possible to write to please (!). it's like painting by numbers, really - it won't fill you with joy but it can be done. Good luck x
And don't think that if you leave and get another job you'd be frowned upon.
Long past are the days of getting a job out of school/college and doing that job for the rest of your life. People are always looking for experience. You won't be happy until you find the right place, or the right place finds you!
Been there and done that LC. Some places don't ask but the sure fire way to avoid that question is to move to a different area completely. While interviewing, you have some reason for having to move and you are proactively seeking a job before that event happens. Otherwise, you knock a past work experience off the old resume and put world traveling to gain life experience in its place. Like I said, I've been there and done that and it has never been a problem. I'm working on job number four in seven years and this one at long last, appears to be the keeper.
Thanks so much everyone for their advice and comments. I'm trying to stick to the attitude of 'what will be, will be' and try and rise to the challenge of changing my style and form.
If it doesn't work, then I'm not meant to be here, I guess. I also have teach myself not to think too seriously about the future, otherwise it'll kill me.
Sigh. Bumpy roads are SO much fun@!
Don't stress Laurian, it will work out I know it. Deep breaths
Hey LC, sorry I'm a bit late today. Not being a pro-writer I don't know if I can offer any decent advice, but as someone who has been in similar situations (not getting to grips with something quickly) well, all I can say is hang in there. Try your best. From your blog alone it's obvious you can write and write well. I'm sure you'll crack it. And if they still don't like it, then they're obviously mad.
And now a poem (oh God no, Jon!)
LC's having trouble and it's not nice to see
They say they don't like how she writes
But as far as I can tell she's a total Queen Bee
And they're talking complete shite
go. leave. they're fucks.
Poodle! I'm sorry to hear - but if there's one thing I know, you always come out on top at the end. I don't think you even know how you do it, but you do it nonetheless. If this job doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be, but something better will come out of it eventually. And if not, you've got a rich friend to lean on!
I don't have any great advice, except I think you're a great writer, with your own direct style. And I know you'll land on your feet, just keep holding on babe.
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