777

7 things I plan to do before I die
1) Write a bestseller
2) Visit Nigeria and Tokyo
3) Meet up with my childhood sweetheart, and have the shag I’ve been waiting for with him for over twelve years on top of the Drakensberg
4) Live in San Francisco
5) Learn German
6) Drive a red1970 Citroen 2CV through the lavender fields of Provence
7) Ski Whistler in Canada, the Andes in Chile and Jackson Hole, Wyoming

7 things I can do
1) Sing the loudest and proudest at a karaoke bar
2) Make people laugh
3) Play the piano
4) Find a bargain. And pull off said hideous bargain-ensembles at dress up parties
5) Talk myself out of sticky situations
6) Speak French and Italian
7) Change a plug (yes it’s true!)

7 things I cannot do
1) Hurdle
2) Blow dry my own hair
3) Not let my ex affect me
4) Enjoy Counting Crows’ 'Mr Jones'. Newsflash: Overplayed, overdone.
5) Navigate. Like Zuzula, no internal compass. I will walk into a shop and walk right back into the one I’ve already been into previously, and won’t notice. Similarly, I’m retarded when it comes to left and right. (Will turn left when somebody says turn right.)
6) Eat squid
7) Be patient

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1) Sharp wit/sense of humour
2) Intelligence
3) The way he moves and/or wears his pants. V. important. If he wears his pants like the Bee Gees, it’s not going to happen. A little loose and baggy is always sexy.
4) Beautiful eyes that I can get lost in
5) Gentlemanly/chivalrous behaviour like pulling out my chair. I love old school.
6) Not afraid to be affectionate with me. Not smooch me over the table, but play with my hair, gaze across at me from a crowded room, casually tickle my back…
7) His smile, the way he laughs

7 things I say most often
1) Dude. (I know. It’s terrible.)
2) Right, it’s time for some tequila!
3) “Touchaaaaay.” (Sarcastically)
4) Tell heem he’s drayming. Watch 'The Castle,' and you’ll understand.
5) Why is (insert ex name here) such a good looking dickhead?
6) Shitters. It’s my latest take on just plain “shit.” Eg: “Shitters, I think I’m in serious trouble.”
7) Has he been smoking crack? Is my latest take on “he must be mad.”

7 celebrity crushes
1) Ashton Kutcher
2) George Clooney
3) JFK Junior.
4) Eminem. I know, I know.
5) Not Brad Pitt. He’s so middle-aged these days. So 5 years ago.
6) Fez from 'That 70s Show' when he doesn’t talk with a lisp. (Can the pants as well.)
7) Alicia Keys. I don’t bat for the other team, but she’s hot hot hot.

7 people who need to do this
1) Third World Ant
2) Janie
3) Jon
4) Jimmmer
5) November Rain
6) Stephanie
7) Robin