I got tagged by A Fork

A Fork called Jon tagged me. God I love this game. If I was tagged every single day of my life, I'd be the happiest person on Earth.

1) If you could be any kind of animal, what would you be?

Maybe a ferret. You know, cute and all, lives in a warren. I’d love to be able to say, “Hey man, I live in a warren.” Just kidding. Without doubt or tribulation, a shark. Nobody would eat me.

2) What's your favourite season of the year and why?

Spring going into summer in South Africa. Winter in the Alps or Colorado. Summer here gets too stinking hot, although the thunder showers are nice. And spring is all about feeling horny all day long, the lovely flowers, the realisation that winter is finally over…and skiing and playing in the snow elsewhere is paradise.

3) Which celebrity/politician/famous figure inspires you the most?

Paris Hilton. Again, just kidding. Good God no. I always loved Jackie O. Her philandering husband only made her stronger and greater. Plus she was possibly the most stylish person on Earth. She started the trend of large shades, she’s a brunette and she produced a hunky hunky son. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love Marilyn Monroe; she’s right up there. She’s just gorgeously amazing. JFK certainly chose the best women on Earth to roll in the hay with. Politicians? Yikes, I can certainly tell you the ones that I cannot stand, because they’re either starving their own people (Robert Mugabe –president of Zimbabwe)/do genocide (Milosevic) /or pretend that Aids doesn’t exist (My president-Thabo Mbeki).

4) Do tables cry?

Do tables cry? They most certainly do. And if anyone tells you otherwise, they’re talking nonsense. This is how you make them cry: Shout at them (Bad table!), slam your folk/steak knife into them, saw them in half or put them in the garage so they feel abandoned.

5) Which country in the world would you love to visit that you haven't yet?

Wow, the list here is looong. But I’ll chop it down to my top seven: Japan, Chile, Nigeria (I know, it’s weird-but how else can you brag that you’ve been to the most corrupt country in the world and got out alive without having 10 tonnes of smuggled cocaine/trafficked diamonds in your backpack?), China, Slovakia, Poland, Madagascar.

Ok, who’s the next taggee?