Sitting in traffic yesterday

...with monstrous period pains, I started thinking "Shit, you know. I'm moving to London next week. Where I can take a bloody tube." And I honestly started thinking about it.
Luckily I got this e-mail this morning:

South Africa is a great country because:
1. You can eat raw half-dried meat and not be considered disgusting.
2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.
3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.
4. You can experience terrible service in eleven official languages.
5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?
6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing.
7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.
8. Great accent. (I disgree - Americans think we're English; Australians think we're Kiwis)
9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the second most dangerous city in the world. (Bogota, Columbia is the first.)
10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.
11. Your neighbours can never be nosy over your high walls.
12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major accidents, without being called. The police you have to call about three times.
13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
14. We’re the only people that say things like, “Yes, no I’m fine.” And “Yes, no it’s all good.”
15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
16. All white people are ancestors from the Dutch, French and English and other continental countries.
17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!
18. Our Saturday afternoon consists of braaing (barbequing) and soaking up the sun in our back gardens.
19. We have a completely diverse and beautiful countryside: semi-desert, to the tropics, to savannah, to bush, to veld, to mediterranean, to mountainous.
20. If you live in Cape Town, you’re currently residing in the World’s Top Five destinations of 2004/5.

Hmmm.