I'm going through constant states of flux at the moment: sheer panic, doubt, sadness, overwhelming despair. I unglued my eyes yesterday, after all that crying, and managed to even write a feature at work.
Last night we met up to chat about our futures, where we go from here. It was actually a very positive set-up, we didn't get emotional, just talked. I still miss him like crazy, this is so crap, but so necessary right now.
Then I went out and got hammered with my friends. Not such a great idea, cos I feel even worse today. Woke up scared, cos I dreamt there was a snake around my neck strangling me. PANIC. Apparently it's a bad omen. Great. Just great.
Everything hurts: my head, my heart-or empty cavern in its place - everything.