Tuesday, February 28, 2006

i am such a dumbass

My little blog world may just be crumbling. In my excitement of actually being nominated for a blog award, I rang up Small Bum and told him.
I also told him in which category I am being nominated.
Put down phone.
Then have aboplexy.
He wouldn't, would he?
I phone him back, just as he is sitting on the SA Blog Awards page, sifting through the sites one by one. It wouldn't take a genius to decipher which one is mine, mainly because my blog isn't on how to build treehouses, or rantings on a corrupt ICT company. My blog is centered on my sex life, and my daily dramas, like the drama before me today.

So I laid it on thick. "Go to my blog, and pay the price." Words like "disrespecting my privacy","Pandora's box," "anonyminity from my real world" and "Please, just please don't visit my blog" were thrown around.
But I know if I was him, I would totally visit this blog. How could you not, when you know you feature? The curiosity would kill me.

So fuck. It is assumed that he may pop in at any time. He promised he wouldn't, but seriously, come on.

See I'm a nosy muthafucker. I have read text messages on other people's phones, I have hacked into somebody's inbox before. And before he gave me the low down last night on reading other people's messages, it was too late. Because ten days ago, I happened across an sms he sent to somebody, while I was bored. It wasn't nice. I regret seeing it, and after the lecture he gave me last night, I will never touch his phone again. Something along the lines of: "Actually I met somebody in January. Pity. Murphy's blimmen law."

But whatever. I've learnt my lesson. If he does read my blog, it would be an eye for an eye. Not that I have much to hide, but there is stuff in here that I don't want him to particularly know.
(Voted yet? www.sablogawards.com)


Marc said...

Eish, that wasn't very clever...

Hi Small Bum !!! :)

Peas on Toast said...

Marc - should we wave??
I know. Perhaps I should get a stupidity award instead.

Jam said...

Hee hee. I was wondering if you had gone down this road at all yet. Anyway - sooner or later it would have slipped out I'm sure.

Did he know that you had a blog at all?

If I was him, I would be trying to read it too...sorry to say! So I'll just join in with the waving crew and hope that Small Bum has a very well developed sense of humour. You do, don't you Small Bum?

Third World Ant said...

Actually, Third World Ant has been Small Bum all along! Mwahahaaaa!

Peas on Toast said...

Ant - riiiiiiiight. If only! :)

Jam - Yip he knew I had a blog, but never elaborated on it, or told him anything about it at all. And you're right, the little bugger will probably read all of this. I'm waiting for the crunch. He luckily does have an extremely well-developed sense of humour. Let's hope it fares well for him.

zuzula said...

congrats on the nomination! that's fab - and well deserved :)

i learned the hard way that if someone really wants to find a blog, they can. a colleague of mine tracked me down despite me never making any reference to my real name or company.

but hey - you've been rather nice about SB on here I think - he's got nothing to worry about!

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Z, thanks dollface! I don't quite know how I managed to get a nomination: my spelling is always cr@p, and my dramas aren't exactly intriguing material, but anyway, flattering to say the least. :)

Being anonymous it seems, means fuck all really. For all I know, half my friendship circle reads this everyday. Or that Small Bum has been reading this the whole time.
Just a taste of reality I suppose.
But this really really sucks, cos now I can't talk about his penis. (Just kidding, just kidding... :)

zuzula said...

you'll just have to do what everybody else seems to be doing right now and change your address! ;)

Billy said...

Oops. Hi Small bum.
Got your teeth rattled yet?

Peas on Toast said...

Z - thought about that as well. Peasonbread? Lentilsontoast? The options are endless.

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - I'll answer for Small Bum.
"No. She isn't letting up. She refuses to shag me until further notice." ;)

It's been two days. Started to feel the first symptoms of sexual frustration in the medium of a couple of mood swings, but am using alternative methods to ensure that I don't die. Of not enough sex.

Christopher said...

If you say 'DON'T' to someone they usually DO. I'm sure he'll be cool with it. You need your outlet just as he needs his.
The worst thing you could do (For you readers as well as yourself) is to close down the blog. I know you don't have any intention of doing that so :)

Peas on Toast said...

Chris - Perhaps I should try reverse pyschology! You're a genius! "Go to my blog, seriously, it's so interesting, I write about botany in South America, and you'll be blown away by the constructive research...."

And don't fret, will never close down my blog. Never! Just may have to write in innuendos for the moment. :)

Stephanie said...

You've been nothing but flattering about SB so I wouldn't worry too much. Don't make a big deal about it and, if he visits the site again and reads something he doesn't like from the past, then just talk about it. I think he realises that you had a life before him and weren't locked up in a nunnery until you met. :)

Keep up the blogging and well done on your award nomination.


She of the handbag said...

Oops! Ah well, if Mr Bum decides to look at your blog (which to be honest honey, now you've told him not to he definitely will!) then am sure he will be cool about it as you've been lovely about him;) Fingers crossed eh!

Nettie said...

Whoops. I hope he doesn't end up reading it, cause things could get crazy. But I'm guessing he isn't the revenge type...

Peas on Toast said...

Steph - thanks babe. I';ve pretty much told him most things from my past, so nothing should be a surprise. Let's hope! ;)

Handbag - how is Scotland dear? Hope you've managed to settle in. I reiterated yesterday at ho unchiffed I would be if he visited my site. I'm hoping the guilt trip will work at this stage...anything really...

Nettie - Nah luckily he isn't the revenge type. I don't think?? Let's hope anyway.