Friday, April 07, 2006

things I've learnt over the last 24 hours

1) The word 'dude' does not just mean buddy, mate, china. After an intellectual argument with R, with him saying I should know this stuff, a 'dude' is a camel's foreskin in fact. Because a camel's foreskin needs a name. Other variations include fresh camel guano, camel's rectum.

2) Gareth Cliff on the radio yesterday: "An addiction is with you for life...addicts only stop for as long as they can, but they know they're going to start again." Thanks fuck wit.

3) Even though Gareth is an arrogant twot, I happen to secretly fantasise about him.

4) Drinking vodka martinis with mates at Roseboys is fun until the lesbian proprietor hits on you, like last night.

5) Cherry Flava posted an article on how Virgo's are the most likely star sign to become billionaires. Most of the world's billionaires are Virgo's. (The least likely are Sagittarians, FYI). I happen to be a Virgo. We may be anal, prissy, argumentative, self-righteous and obsessed with order, however! We are animals in the bedroom, are good at making and spending oodles of cash, and alongside Aquarius, apparently happen to be the most intelligent sign of the Zodiac. So there.

6) Small Bum and I are sleeping helluva close to each other these days. It's really quite nice though. In the beginning, we kind of slept on opposite sides of the bed because we couldn't sleep otherwise. Now we have wonderfully slow and rythmatic sex, and wake up entangled in each others arms. He wakes me up the same way: "OK, Popsicle, time to get up."

Popsicle? Bless.


~ erika gabrielle said...

Hello, just saw ur link in blogspot (newly-updated blogs). Was rather amused reading your entry! Haha, so funny! Sorry. Anyway, I hope you're doing fine! :)

Peas on Toast said...

Why thank you Erika. :)
I try.

Daedalus said...

Noun: dude dood
A man who is much concerned with his dress and appearance

Errrr... dunno that is the answer I got from some *software* I run here Popsicle hehehe..

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - I'll bring this to R's attention. Because similarly, when I looked up 'dude' (like I have time for this!) I got:
Dude (n): A brainless exquisite.

Which obviously means idiot in some verbose manner.

Seemingly 'dude' has about 10 meanings. Who woulda thought?

Billy said...

Gareth Cliff gets on my tits.

I don’t fantasize about him.

Use it, don’t use it.

Billy said...

I do however fantasize about lesbians occasionally and thus enter a formal request for more details please.

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - for some reason Gareth gets me all hot. It irritates me no end because I do not think he is physically perfect. But for some reason, I reckon I;d like to boof him.

But moving on: you may be disappointed about the lesbian proprietress. I certainly was. Ellen Degeneres is quite a looker in comparison. This woman took fancy to our group, which I found odd, since it was me, another girl, and a whole lot of men. She dressed like a man and talked like a man.
She even smoked like a man, much to my disgust, for obvious reasons.

We all started dancing around and getting rowdy, me being the most sober for a change, and she kind of started humping my leg. So I left.

Most disppointing.

Anonymous said...

Damn - this blog CONTINUES to amuse me every day !!

Keep up the great work, it definitely helps me through these hungover days at work.

Loving your work peas !!!

Peas on Toast said...

Why, a 1 000 thank yous Anon - and good luck with that mid-week hangover. It's a real stinker. :)

PS: You're not Bad Comment Anon are you?

Anonymous said...

AS if .... puuulease !! Bad comment anon should should be banned ! Has no place on the peas' site !

And for the record - today is Thursday which is basically the week-end anyway ! Please dont scare me with talk of mid week like that again !!!

Tash said...

HiYA Peas!

Also heard that Virgos make good bus drivers ;-)

I think i was also kinda hit on by the lady at the salon who was doing my pedi. Said i should come in for a 'Hollywood' wax, which is completely bare. She said that none of her clients like receiving them, but she loves giving them. Then she adds, that we will become pretty close friends after that. I was actually speechless.

Keep on entertaining Peas :-)

Carol said...

Peas - thought you should get one of these for your site:, scary roseplace lady/man saw feature on topshmilling a few weeks ago. Ps I fantasize about GC too... have had some kinkyx dreams... ha ha not that funny

Dude: A word that is established in a Californians mental dictionary at a very young age.
Cali Dad: Come one baby, say DAD D-A-D
Cali Teen1: Let's hit the mall, dude!
Ca li Baby: Dude!!
Cali Dad: **groan**

Daedalus said...

“Boof him” Peas? Bwhahahahaha!
You know I’ve been thinking…
Ironic – The only food type I DO NOT eat by choice is *Peas*, Yet, I keep check back here…

Daedalus said...


Peas on Toast said...

Anon - just checking ;) You're welcome here anytime dearie.
And I do apologise about causing mid-week comment panic. The weekend starts on Wednesday afternoon in Cape Town, anyway.

Tash - Good lord. She obviously rates her 'Hollywood' waxing style quite highly is she thinks you'll be wanting to suck her face after that.
I don't get hit on by lesbians alot. My mates that have swung both ways don't reckon I'm that attractive in the dyke sense.
But every now and then, one will. Bless.

Peas on Toast said...

Carol - so you've seen her in her full glory huh? Hottttt stuff. No really. ;)
And agreed: the whole of California basically calls their loved ones camel foreskins.

Daedalus - absolutely. I fear a good boof would do Gareth good in fact. ;)
And Peas rock. Sort of. When they explode between your molars.

Antoine said...

Goodness: A blog containing

Literary Definitions
Lesbian interaction
Hetrosexual interaction
Fantasy DJ's

all in one post!

I am gobsmacked!

Daedalus said...

and I am *nauseous* - she likes peas...

Peas on Toast said...

Antoine - ah but of course! :)

Daedalus - I can think of a couple of things worse than peas.
1) Brains
2) Kidneys
3) Liver
4) Rhubarb.

It's all relative :)

Daedalus said...

Q: How long is 10 seconds?

A: It depends on which side of the toilet door you are standing (it is all relative)

Billy said...

Geez Peas!
The discription of the lesbo put me off lunch.

Anons: Get names! You will always be viewed as the enemy after fuck face's comments the other day.

Peas on Toast said...

Daedalus - and there you have it.

Billy - it is rather unfortunate yes. :)

Agreed - can you Anonymous commenters furnish your opinions with a name? You know, even 'Bob' or 'Person' will do.
You guys are blending into one another, and you do deserve recognition for at least being individual.

Anonymous said...


Billy said...


Jam said...

I am no Gareth Cliff fan. I wish he wouldn't TRY so hard at being offensive, 'cause actually he doesn't have to say a thing - he IS offensive.

Aquarius's appear intelligent. Actually, they are cold, detached and up their own arses (oh no wait, that's a description of my ex)

It's sweet that you and Small Bum sleep closer together! Makes me long....but just a little! Where did "Popsicle" come from?

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - He does try a little hard sometimes, but he still gets it somehow.
I know a couple of Aquarians that fit that description as well. Luckily I haven't had the pleasure to indulge with one that is up its own arse in the bedroom.

As for Popsicle, who knows. He has a range of names he calls me, but this one seems to be the most popular at the moment.

Peas on Toast said...

PS: To all the Anons out there, and I speak on behalf of Billy and myself, it's ok to have an identity chinas.
No one will find you or guess your real name based on a pseudonym.

And even if they did, would it be so bad?

jam said...

Now I am fascinated. What are the other names?

And what do you call Small Bum, other than Small Bum?

A nony Mous said...

there we go - one less anon going around peas
Billy - hope you happy dude !!!

Peas on Toast said...

Small Bum is most commonly addressed by his name. :)
And sweetie, sex muffin, that sort of thing.

Peas on Toast said...

A nony mous - Nice. Thinking out the box. I like it. :)

A nony Mous said...

Thanks peas - told you I was hungover !

Anonymous said...

Sorry to do this but i am a new anon - I tried to sign up but it kept on hanging. Peas i've been reading your page for the last two weeks. Think you are great. Just one question - I missed the whole weekend thing. Can someone please catch us up on what happend PLEASE.

Keep up the great work

Peas on Toast said...

New Anon - the weekend was rather traumatic. In a nutshell:
My recent Ex indulges in my blog on a regular occasion. I don't know why he does this, perhaps to find out what I am up to, but at the end of the day it hurts him badly obviously, as I am dating someone new.
I posted him a personal letter which I later deleted. It's over and we're moving on. You haven't missed much, I assure you.
(Like all soap operas, it's easy to catch up, see. Nothing ever really changes, the plot is always the same :)

Anonymous said...

wow, just found this blog through Moneyweb reccommendation (wierd!!).
Is fab though!
That chick (thing?) at Roseboys is scary - she (it?) leaves her boxers peeking out of the top of her pants.
Good cocktails though!!

Peas on Toast said...

Anon Number 76850 (or Anon Above):
You have got to be shitting me. Shut up get out of town! Moneyweb, a financial directory (??) has recommended my blog?
That is truly hysterical. :)
Especially since I write about the stock exchange, Rand versus Dollar, indexes and all that exciting stuff all the time.
Love it! :)

Jam said...

Yeah, but you're pure gold Peas.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - :)

peanut said...

Ja, there was a article on 'citizen media' that mentioned your FFW incident...
anyway, so glad I found your spot, now i don't have to refresh news24 220 times a day for amusement!!!

Anonymous said...

"Fake etymology of the word suggests that this slang term originally came from a term that meant a camel's penis. The origin of this myth is unknown."

~ erika gabrielle said...

Wow, 37 comments already! Anyways, lesbians in my country are tragically "one-of-the-boys". It's amazing that we can still actually decipher which's which. Sad really, as I'm from an all-girls school.
What did Cherry Flava say about Leos? :D

Peas on Toast said...

peanut - can you send me the link please?
Thanks :)

Anon - thanks for the update. I shall let R know that in fact a dude is a camel's penis, not foreskin. He'll be most upset that I got the last word. :)

Erika - today for some reason has generated a lot of hype. ;)
Cherry Flava sadly didn't mention Leos, my dear, sorry.

~ erika gabrielle said...

Haha, no problem! Hope to be reading more from you! Byebye! :)

Third World Ant said...

Babe, you're almost one step better than being famous... you're nearly infamous!

I just hope those insurance bitches don't come round to our place tonight with bazookas! *nervous chuckles*

peanut said...

Sure, no prob.
You can find it at

carol said...

these comments have made my crazy day!!

Rays said...

Hi Peas and the gang! (Sounds like some 80s rap group)...

Hope you don't mind but, in light of the boofing comments about Gareth, I sent your blog to him! I'm sure he'll LOVE it!

Peas on Toast said...

Ant - I'm screening all my calls and don't answer the door to NOBODY.

peanut - got it, thanks dear. (hectic!)

carol - glad to hear it :)

Rays - YOU DID WHAT??! Why, why, why?? He's only going to rip me off, and oh god, I just hope it slips through the cracks and he never sees it!!!
*deep breaths*

Jam said...

Oh great Rays. And here I am not talking nicely about him. Oh well.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam if he does read it, on that rare chance, I don't reckon he'd publicise it firstly (that I've called him a fuckwit), and secondly, I don't think we're alone in our sentiments anyway.

We wait with baited breath.....:)

Daedalus said...

SH!t - it is the first time I had to actually press Ctrl+F and search for my last comment on a blog post ... this is out-of-control. MESSAGE OVERLOAD!!! AAAaaaah

Peas on Toast said...

I know. It's amazing I get any work done at all.

Daedalus said...

Your weBlog is turning into an asynchronous IRC channel. By wonder there are *girls* commenting too :P

Freddie said...

Just a thought have probably never heard of Micheal Franks...but he sings a song...called... Popsicle Toes. You should download it off limewire and have a listen...really is quite a special song. (I am a pretty big micheal franks fan....not that u could tell or anything..hehe)

Aquila said...

Did someone say SEX?

Peas on Toast said...

Freddie - in all strangeness, I actually do know that song. My dad digs it. Bless. :)

Aquila - it's the only explanation for 56 comments on one post china.

acidicice said...

Sounds like you and Small Bum are having a yummy time. I miss yummy times. Now I have to replace them with yummy things...

Gareth can be a real twat...but I do so enjoy some of his banter.

Peas on Toast said...

Acidicice - we are having fun. Probably because we're still in that "only a few months down the line stage." But I'm really enjoying him at the moment.
And Gareth can be a little overbearing. (Are you listening Gareth??), but I still happen to think he's a sexy sod. (shamefully so :)