Friday, June 09, 2006

our family in summer bay

So, like, I watch Home & Away. That ridiculous Australian soapie. It’s the kind of mindless crap that I enjoy coming home to, armed with a glass of plonk. After a day at the office, writing stories I’m not interested in, which encourages a fair amount of concentration and willpower, it’s great to unwind to a throng of cheap Paceefeec Ocean-orientated bullshit, let me tell you.

This has not gone unnoticed.

Third World Ant was appalled when she first encountered my unnatural possessiveness of the TV remote between 7:00 and 7:30pm.

And then there’re the guys. When I lived with Ex S, we’d fight over the remote for cricket highlights versus my small-town Australian white trash fix. He soon learnt to obey the matriarch of the household – that being yours truly – and soon thereafter became intrigued. After endless whining, ripping off thereof, and so many “how can you watch this piece of shite,” the man started watching it himself.
Oh yes.

Soon enough, he’d automatically tune into Channel 84. And simultaneously he knew the storyline as well as I did. Once he was sitting at Heathrow waiting to fly home, and bumped into one of the characters at a bar. He got an autograph for me. Bless his little cotton doondies.

Third Roommate is no different. I got the same admin, although he doesn’t live with us, he only spends a large amount of time at mine and Ant’s abode - hence the name ‘third roommate’ in case you’re amiss. “Dude, what the fuck is this?” (With obvious reference to what’s on the tube, not my impeccable dress sense.) Now, not only does the little bugger watch with me, he watches the freaking omnibus on Sunday afternoons as well. Which I can happily say I do not do.

He knows exactly what is happening between Martha and Jack, and is also partial to sharing information with me on what is happening in the next week. I will bet my next salary cheque that he goes onto the official website to check the forecast on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
“Amanda is going to marry Graham for his money, stupid bastard. And did you see what’s happened to Kim? Dude, like, have you even been watching?”
(Ah…yes. In healthy quantities.)
“Shit has hit Summer Bay in a huge way china. It’s all action, action, action.”

And God forbid you talk during the facking soliloquies. (“Irene is having a moment here guys, talk during the commercials.”) He’s glued. The hilarious thing is Third Roommate is about as metrosexual as The Rock. Yet.

Sometimes men are too amusing not to share with the rest of the world. I’m glad I’ve been influential. Even if it comes down to sharing the worst television has to offer.

43 comments:

Suavé said...

I'll be straight up. I've been addicted to the soaps before. Thanks Goodness thats over with. Isidingo was my drug at a stage and now it seems that since Cherel(how do you spell that name?) has gone I'm no longer interested. But anyway the way I got into watching it was through my ex. She was exactly like you. I just came to a realised that to "obey the matriarch of the household" is the only way to survive. You cant win no other way...

**Sigh**

Peas on Toast said...

Ah Suave, bless! :)

I'm telling you, as far as coupledom is concerned, or close freinds that watch telly frequently at your house, nine times out of ten they're going to watch sopaies with the girl. I've seen this happen time and again.

And don't worry, Isidingo is my mum's favourite. I think it's rated as a higher quality production than Home & Away somehow. :)

fly said...

Im addicted to "Isidingo"...one of the coolest shows and ive met a few of the characters in the most unusuals spots, namely Melville but also at the odd braai here and there.....huh ?! anyways...

@SuaveBona...Cherel's back baby...and just as bad as ever...tho Barker has just turned out to be pure evil, and he plays such a good villian as well...and what was Cherel's daughters name ??? the one that killed herself ??? thank god for that, her whineyness was driving me crazy.... :oP

Suavé said...

No doubt about it, Isidingo is much better than a number of soaps. Even Days & The Bold have nothing on it. I think I used to like watching it cause I used to like perving on Leigh. Yeah a lot of people dont know why her with other hot chicks around but I thought she was super hot! I think its the fact that she got all that power. They say men are intimidated by woman with money and power. I say - Pfff!!

Peas on Toast said...

Fly & Suave - never really go into Isidingo, but as far as soaps go, I've heard it's pretty good.

I do watch Bold, although haven't seen it in ages, but I'm a little bored of the whole Ridge/Brooke fiasco. It's been dragging on for like twenty years now. Yawn.

Billy said...

i watch Isidingo......


Whew...that wasnt easy to admit.

fly said...

yum to Leigh....I sawe her at Xai Xai in Melville once...she is hotter is person I can tell you...

Also that new little reporter chick is pretty dishy... :o)

Peas on Toast said...

Billy you're always safe here sweetpea.

Welcome to the land of the free. Also nice to see you back. :)

Suavé said...

Ya'll now that Barker is gay in real life right?

fly said...

@Suave....BonaDunno, but I did meet him at a braai once...quite a nice guy actually and he did come across as very sophisticated and tidy...

Not to say that sophosticted men are gay but you know what I mean... :oP

Peas on Toast said...

Dudes, you may not believe this: but if you love Isidingo, it's virtually guaranteed that Home & Away will kick the shit out of Isi. It's good stuff. And all the characters are hot. Which I think is why Ex S and Third Roommate love it so much. :)

Suavé said...

Fly > Im not saying that he's not a nice guy. Very nice actually. One of the best around. But still...a flaming lamborghini none-the-less.

Peas > Yeah I guess, but I dont know hey. I'll have to take your word for it. I stay away from all soapies like drunk aunties at family reunions!

Revolving Credit said...

Morning all

Ya know, I have really tried to watch soaps. I tried a good few, even managed about 3 episodes of Egoli, but I just can't. My trigger finger gets far to edgy on the remote. I find that I don't need brain dead time after work, just a different form of mental stimulation...therefore I end up with History, Discovery, National Geographic of E entertainment channels.

However, I have watched this addiction grow. My dad started watching Loving back in the late 80's and hasn't looked back. Fuck, I think he watches them from about 5:30 to 7:30-8:00 every evening. I find this highly fucking amusing..here's this business man rushing home, not for supper or to change for some cocktail party...no, needs to get home in time for Isidingo.
So it appears this stuff is addictive...do you think there should be legislation to control its use. I'm sure that it must have fucked-up some relationships along the way . Like 'Honey, lets shag','Can we just wait for an ad break dear?)

LOL

Peas on Toast said...

Suave - you're missing out china :)

Revolving - good morning dearie. It's those bloody cliffhangers at the end that just keep me coming back for more. But it also essentially empties out my end, and after it becomes an empty vacuole, I can move onto better things like BBC and the History Channel. I really love it. I consider it part of my routine...;)

GoDsGiMp said...

O man series...

I managed to get hold of full series's like the OC, prison break and lost1/2. Man miss T eats them up in a matter of days. There is nothing quite like watching back to back OC, its like one long very predictable movie. And yet... yes I have found myself watching along.. and wanting to knwo what happened etc. Anyway don't tell anyway im traffiking in pirated goods, special assignment might get me.

And also for your information it would have been..

"Hi Pea's may I fondle your bum with the hand of God..."

not gimp ok... :)

Peas on Toast said...

Gimp, honey - is God offering? ;)

Oh and Desperate Housewives. God I love that programme. And just as all the boys gave me slack about it, they seem to have started watching religiously as well. :)

Suavé said...

Desperate Houswives...she is good...she is very good. I dont care what anyone says but I dig that show.

Eva Shortgoria ***drool***

GoDsGiMp said...

Yeah and after God touches your ass it will never grow above a size four and shall never develop cellulite..

Peas on Toast said...

Suave - my favourites in Desperate Housewives: Bree (Marcia Cross) and Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) hands down. One is off her tree and one has a healthy interest in sex. I can relate to both. Love them :)

Godsgimp - mate, a size four? That's one helluva small ass. Can you guarantee it?

GoDsGiMp said...

@Pea's - There was this cult once where the main dude convinced hundreds of young woman to have sex with him, he called his penis "the finger of God" and they would be blessed if they where 'touched' by it. I think he probably watched them drink the cool-aid.

Suavé said...

I dig Bree. But she's fcuken insane. It's so irresistable! And that Gabriella is such a sex-pot. Like they say, Dynamite comes in small packages. You got a good mix there!

But its funny how every chick I speak to about the show can relate some-way or another to one of the femanina's on there. Crazyness I tell ya.

Peas on Toast said...

Gimp - I heard that story as well. It's amazing how brainwashing to can make people believe anything.

Suave - Bree is crackers. That's for sure. But I just love her. ;)

Jam (who has fudged) said...

Lost.
Kind of like me today.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam, sweetheart, what is going on??
*worried frown*

Jam said...

Just joining the single JHB ranks again Peas!

fly said...

shame jam :o(

Peas on Toast said...

Just read and commented on your blog.

You're going to be ok. You're strong, you've been through a lot, now you can be selfish. You totally deserve it.

I am already starting to warm to this whole single thing.

See you at the next tequila bar? ;)

Jam said...

Thanks Peas / fly
Thanks for the brief space hijack!
:-)

Peas on Toast said...

Lots of hugs my dear. Lots of hugs. xx

Buzzing'Fly said...

mmm... i cant get enuf of Prison Break - Wentworth Miller is too damn sexy... ouch...

Peas on Toast said...

Buzzing'fly - Ah...Wentie.
I'm getting hot flushes just thinking about him.

Prison Break is getting a little tired. Whenever they try to escape, there's always an issue. The only reason I watch is because of Wentworth.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, group hug everyone!!

Peas on Toast said...

*arms wide open*

Jam said...

Only if we include Wentworth Miller in the hug...

Peas on Toast said...

That sounds reasonable.

*closing my eyes...*

Revolving Credit said...

*eyes closed* Ok, who grabbed my ass? I said hug, not grope!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh sorry...that was me. *blush.*

Revolving Credit said...

That's ok, as long as it wasn't the 'Hand of God'...
PS. Nice technique!!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks, I try. ;)

muddlepuddle said...

Peas - dedicated my blog to you today.
Go check it out for shits and giggles.

Muddle

Peas on Toast said...

Brillaint Muddle, I read it. What a star you are - I love the way you call a spade a spade. It's great! xx

muddlepuddle said...

Ta.
I try.

In anticipation of your blog tomorrow and combined with how haish I am after writing that I will do one of two things this evening:

1. Give my nub a rub
2. Go out and get some hot ass

Till tomorrow...
Muddle

Inyoka said...

I have ALWAYS hated these things - be the Saffa, Ozzie, UK or USA - hated them with a passion. In fact, I watch very little TV now that the shit headed England and Wales Cricket Assoc have sold our national cricket to the pay channels, like that fat bastard Luyt did when I was still living in Cape Town. I never supported SA rugby after that.

Anyway, I digress. I said we dont watch TV, but my nipper (17 going on 18) is an IT wizz and downloads piles of stuff from the web, including Desparate Housewives. Oi!

I have become a bit of an addict, what with all the episodes on my portable HDD.

A much better programme than the rest of the rubbish designed for the the lower classes here in the UK.

Anyway, Glad to see you feeling more chipper, Peas. I need to read your blog regularly. All the politics on mine gives me a headache.