So, like, I watch Home & Away. That ridiculous Australian soapie. It’s the kind of mindless crap that I enjoy coming home to, armed with a glass of plonk. After a day at the office, writing stories I’m not interested in, which encourages a fair amount of concentration and willpower, it’s great to unwind to a throng of cheap Paceefeec Ocean-orientated bullshit, let me tell you.
This has not gone unnoticed.
Third World Ant was appalled when she first encountered my unnatural possessiveness of the TV remote between 7:00 and 7:30pm.
And then there’re the guys. When I lived with Ex S, we’d fight over the remote for cricket highlights versus my small-town Australian white trash fix. He soon learnt to obey the matriarch of the household – that being yours truly – and soon thereafter became intrigued. After endless whining, ripping off thereof, and so many “how can you watch this piece of shite,” the man started watching it himself.
Soon enough, he’d automatically tune into Channel 84. And simultaneously he knew the storyline as well as I did. Once he was sitting at Heathrow waiting to fly home, and bumped into one of the characters at a bar. He got an autograph for me. Bless his little cotton doondies.
Third Roommate is no different. I got the same admin, although he doesn’t live with us, he only spends a large amount of time at mine and Ant’s abode - hence the name ‘third roommate’ in case you’re amiss. “Dude, what the fuck is this?” (With obvious reference to what’s on the tube, not my impeccable dress sense.) Now, not only does the little bugger watch with me, he watches the freaking omnibus on Sunday afternoons as well. Which I can happily say I do not do.
He knows exactly what is happening between Martha and Jack, and is also partial to sharing information with me on what is happening in the next week. I will bet my next salary cheque that he goes onto the official website to check the forecast on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
“Amanda is going to marry Graham for his money, stupid bastard. And did you see what’s happened to Kim? Dude, like, have you even been watching?”
(Ah…yes. In healthy quantities.)
“Shit has hit Summer Bay in a huge way china. It’s all action, action, action.”
And God forbid you talk during the facking soliloquies. (“Irene is having a moment here guys, talk during the commercials.”) He’s glued. The hilarious thing is Third Roommate is about as metrosexual as The Rock. Yet.
Sometimes men are too amusing not to share with the rest of the world. I’m glad I’ve been influential. Even if it comes down to sharing the worst television has to offer.