Tuesday, June 06, 2006

weekend of a single person

Being single really is so underrated. You get to do whatever the hell you want. Stuff that you ordinarily wouldn’t do when you’re too busy sucking face with another half. Let’s take my weekend, as a classic example.

- Have a dance-off with Third World Ant to Phil Collins Top 10 on VH1.

- Watch rats being raced and betted on. Live. Swear to God.

- Sing karaoke in the comfort of my lounge, with the curtains wide open and a three man audience. That said, I wonder what my neighbours think of the Annie soundtrack?

- End up at a house party with a room full of trashed people. Including myself.

- Eat pain au chocolat and Golden Smackeroos for breakfast. In bed.

- Attend a braai with Doc. Thank goodness for best guy friends. No seriously. Meet a nice looking chap at the braai, who, if you can believe this, has met me before. (Where have I heard this before? Does this sound familiar?) Turns out, unwittingly, he remembers me only too well. He happened to be sitting at the table next to ours at a restaurant in Parkhurst, the night I attended a party, not two days after I was dumped. Needless to say, I was ranting and raving in the restaurant rather loudly and drunkenly over how all men are pricks. So, basically, he must think I’m facking psycho. But nevertheless, we chatted and kind of connected better than I have with any random punter in a while. He was pretty dishy.

- Make my [incredibly delectable] salmon and zucchini surprise for dinner [with a ladle of garlic], which I don’t have to share with anyone. Or snog anyone thereafter.

- Watch a great movie, give Third Roommate admin, for his benefit, in preparation of the hook up with his ex (Do you love me, do you? Did you miss me today? Shnookie poo please go buy me some tampons?), reap two gifts from Ant – one being a camembert cheese (bless her) and a forthcoming poster promised to me of Alicia [hot bitch] Keys. Which I can hang on my ceiling and fantasise over. That’s one woman on this Earth that makes me hot. It’s the husky voice.

- Listen to all the music I want to listen to. Wham! included. Illovo was Jitterbugging this weekend.

- Go to Alexandra. To an amazing little shebeen with a group of mates. An ultimate gas. We ate pap and chakalaka with various pieces of indistinguishable meat and drank far too much beer for the Sabbath. I got one marriage proposal with the promise of 5-million cattle for lobola, and one ‘well if you ever want to get married..”. What a riot.

I actually had quite a rather busy weekend. Quite.

66 comments:

fly said...

Being single rules :o)

Being single and part of a band even more...you have an excuse to go moggy every nite and you can just blame it on the band... :oP ..so start a band....


Glad to see that you embracing singledom.... ;o)

Billy said...

You flaming socialite! Sounds like you are mended! Good to hear it!
Any response from Media 24? I need a fair lead time to coordinate my luggage....

Peas on Toast said...

fly - now abnd. I could definitely slip into the band lifestyle with much ease...:)

Billy - Nope. It apperas that Media24 is ignoring our requests for blog conventions in Cancun. So it looks like the only interesting place I'm going in the next 24 hours is Pretoria for a meeting. Wow. Living the rock star dream indeed. :)

Jam said...

Being single can be great fun indeed - just watch that nasty "singlism" nonsense people try to throw at you.
And see? We all told you that you are worth it...5 million cows. Hehe.

Kate said...

glad you're enjoying yourself again, but your post makes me incredibly homesick. Britain sucks-even when it's sunny!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam, thanks dollface! :) Five million cows. That's an awful lots of beef...

Kate - shame my dear. I hope the rain subsides even for a bit. If it makes you feel better - JHB is so cold at the moment, I'm freezing my noombies off.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone else notice that he of the infamous small bum - perpetrator of the Dutch Oven - was only indirectly referred to in today's episode of These Are The Mushy Peas On Our Toast...??

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - He with the Small Ass wasn't referred to at all in These Are The Days of our Mushy Peas on Toast china.

I think it's safe to say he's been written out of the story line...

Marika said...

Hi peas...been reading your blog lately and thoroughly enjoy it (not what you're going through) but the way you write and how totally honest you are!! Glad to hear you're on the mend...just wanted to know if you went to Rhodes or know ppl who did coz i recognised a few ppl in your photo's?

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Marika

Not a Rhodent, no sweetheart. A bona fide UCT alumnus all the way. :)

However some of my mates did go there. But I'm steering way clear of a certain group of Rhodes boys at the moment. ;)
(Wonder who in particular?)

Revolving Credit said...

Arb points to ponder...
So how many rats were in the race?
Did ya win any cash?
How many trips to Cancun could you get for 5 million cattle?
Will Alicia Keyes ever cover any Wham! songs or will George Michael ever sing in the musical Annie?
How would Salmon & Zuchinni taste if you added a bit of chakalaka?
Was the phantom meat you had with your pap, the rat that lost the race?
Was Phil Collins a better singer or actor?
If you added yoghart & muesli, would pain au chocolat and Golden Smackeroos qualify as a health breakfast?
If revovling had more than 2hrs sleep last night, would he still blog so much shit...

Peas on Toast said...

Ah Revolving, bless your little cotton doondies.

You know, the events of my chaotic weekend are blurring together more than even I'd like to admit, so in truth, your list sounds more likely than mine. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Blur is good as long as you remember to periodically check you cellphone messages and change your underwear?

Peas on Toast said...

...and bathe. Never forget to bathe.

Not that I was trashed the entire weekend either, save midnight on Saturday. In fact, I was pretty well-behaved and almost boringly sober most of the time.

Fuck. I hope this doesn't mean I'm growing up or anything life-changing like that. Fuck.

muddlepuddle said...

Peas you are a queen!

Sounds like a truly free of kuk weekend - I am envious!

A truly magnetic personality has been unleashed so watch out world here comes peas!

You are my inspiration girlfriend and you totally rock! (even if it is to Wham! and Annie!!)

Much love
Muddle

Peas on Toast said...

Muddle - I'm completely flattered cupcake.

What's great is that I've decided that I really don't care what anyone else thinks of me in the real world. And I mean it. Which means that I have a certain amount of unfound freedom right there.

Thanks for your comments, they really are sweet.

muddlepuddle said...

WHOAAAAAAA!!!
Peas have just been reading some of the comments and one in particualr struck my G-cord!
(G for G-town)

Me thinks me knows Small Bum and me also thinks no more rats for you! No more dating a rhodent and no more watching 'em race!
They're a different breed all together them boys!

Much love again
Muddle

Peas on Toast said...

It seems everyone knows sodding Small Bum. Perhaps I just shoul've used his real name from the start huh? ;)

No I was watching those kind of rats, m'dear, I was watching real, live, furry vermin racing each other on Saturday night.

I've always been more partial to UCT boys anyway. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Fuugg...did you have a Phil Collins dance-a-thon and karaoke & jitterbug to Annie while sober....Gaan jy dalk volgende week 'n bietjie Bles Bridges sing sondeer die witblitz en brandewyn??
Soos hulle se, dis nou fokken hectic!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Ek se fokken woah Revolving.

Well I wasn't trashed. I might've had a sneaky vodka and lime beforehand, but I actually don't need to be pissed to sing karaoke in front of a whole lot of strangers. My friends need to hold me back. I just can't help myself. :)

(Lucky lucky neighbours I have!)

muddlepuddle said...

Whilst I am aware you were watching furry vermin I am equating the two Rhodents.

You sound like way too much fun for a Rhodes boy anywhoosiebees.

I say give the cattleman a call!

P.S. For your b-day I am getting you that Sony Playstation Karaoke thingy! U must put a video clip on the website for all to enjoy!

Peas on Toast said...

Muddle - thanks doll face. :)

I've always wanted that karaoke thingie - in fact we were talking about it this weekend. I'll start a vlog (video log) in your honour.

I'm sure everyone here wants to see me strangling a few cats of a microphone.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, cool..Peas's Video Jukebox.
Please send your request and $10.

She's going to sing her way to Cancun....or at least as far as Sepoenda

(PS. You if you request an instrumental, please deposit $20)

Peas on Toast said...

Revolving, you can be my publicist when I make it big.

It's only a matter of time now. When my exquisite range of vocals mixed with a shaky verbrato reaps the attention of a Hollywood bigwig. Only a matter of time.

Marika said...

No Ways!!! Are u saying that small bum went to Rhodes?? god, i've sampled a few creatures there and if he is all i can say is good riddance! it would be so wierd if i knew this person so could you drop a hint as to what year he graduated etc or you could go to my blog and leave a message? I'm ever so curious :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Marika

Let me think about it. I love the whole 'creature sampling' thing - laughed out loud in fact - but I think he's had enough publicity for the moment. I actually just want to write him out my blog for now - and essentially forget about him - at least until I'm ok with everything. So for the moment I'll remain mum. He wasn't awful, I swear. But if ever I feel the need to share, you'll be the first to know.

Suavé said...

Oh word? You went to Alex? Damn, times sure as hell are changing. Did you go to Bra Joe's? That guys 'chesa nyama' is the best in the North. He's got nothing on a lot of peeps in the south though.

Peas on Toast said...

Suave - totally - we were at Joe's. Nice chap. :) The chakalaka was so hot I nearly ate my own foot out of delusion.
Was great. I'll definitely be back. Everyone was super friendly.

girlintheworld said...

Helllooo, I've been reading your blog for a little while now and you seem to have had an effect on my blogging- I sure am ranting a whole lot more... (even gave you a mention, thanks, it feels good to just get it all out!)www.anafrican.blogspot.com

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Girl in the World, I read your post.

The problem is in the beginning, I used to go off on serious rant tangents that ordinarily didn't get me into any trouble, aminly because nobody read my blog. Then people found it, etc etc, and now it's common fucking knowledge, privvy to basically everyone I know. Which means I actually can't rave on here like I used to. It's a bugger. I have to change my words completely.

But even then, a little bitch every now and then is almost too good to resist. ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Ah, it sound like an excellent weekend was had! A bit of drinking, flirting, cultural diversifying, good food scoffing, & name throwing. Good form!

Rumour has it 1 of the rats (mice) got squashed on Fri night's races. Shame.

Peas on Toast said...

Champagne - ok so you were there. Bless. Poor little things - I wonder what happened to all of them after the money was thrown about?

PS: And I do say, I thought I'd forgotten how to spade people. Not so! ;)

Marika said...

Peas i totally understand...u kinda want to stop mentioning the person at all so they stop filtering into your subconscious...which is hard enough! I went through a similar experience and i thought i would never find someone again but I have and i cannot believe i wasted so much time (2 years can u believe!!) pining after one person! It is great and therapeutic to rant though so i'm all for that,its probably a good thing i didn't have a blog in those days! Keep your chin up, you sound like a fantastic girl&i've no doubt you will meet someone who will recognise and appreciate that!

Champagne Heathen said...

No, I didn't actually make it but everyone other than the 3 people I was having a quiet *cough 4am stumble home from a surprising change of events cough* night with seemed to be hooligan'ing it up there from what was recanted the next day.

I also heard one of the mice was last seen enjoying a friend's clevage, so I think I'd prefer not to know where they ended up!

Flirting in like riding a bike, though in an inverse way...where the more alcohol in you, the better you balance & peddal ahead.

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Marika.

And I'm glad you said that, because that's what I was fearing the other day - pining over one person when I'm actually wasting time being with someone else who thinks I'm exceptional.

I'm in no rush to find anyone new. It would have to slap me in the face first. Cos I'm not looking at this point. Just out for some random fun. :)

Peas on Toast said...

champagen - Oh great fuck, that was MY cleavage!!!!!!

Just kidding. ;)

zuzula said...

being single in the summer is fantastic. Everybody is hotter and hornier in the sun. (hmm, maybe this is a british viewpoint - we only get about 2 weeks of sunshine and we all go a bit bonkers).

um... what's a braai?

Peas on Toast said...

Z - Don't I know it! I wish it was bloody summer! More people have parties, there are always swimming pools/hot tubs involved with lots of semi-naked people, it's hot, I'm tanned - but now it;s bloody winter here, and I don't feel hellishly sexy in my woolen jersey. Bring on summer! (Another reason to go to Cancun. Hello, Media24??)

A braai is an Afrikaans word for a barbeque, or where men pretend to turn meat on a raging fire, while women make the salads and get pissed in the background. :) The quintessential product for the South African lifestyle.

Revolving Credit said...

Was this a mouse or a rat? It was wriggling round someones clevage?
R U guys sure it wasn't a gerbil??

Make you think how the missing one died??? Apparently very happily ;)

@zuzula - R the brits on horny for 2 weeks a year? explains a lot!!

Peas on Toast said...

Revolving - I'm guessing anything would be happy to die in the throes of a large, bosomy breast. Hell I can think of worse ways to die myself....;)

Marika said...

Random fun is good...great in fact, had a lot of that in my single days and you know what they say about test driving a few models before actually buying... :)

Peas on Toast said...

Marika - "sampling a few creatures?"

Love it. It's like going to a cheese tasting. My favourite. I'm in the mood for a nice snog, I really am. It's been...like...8 days.

zuzula said...

of course... I forgot that you're in the other hemisphere (how mad)! in that case you need to get your ass over here for the next couple of months and then return to the African sun :)

Revolving Credit: you know what? there's a definite 'mating season' over here. if I can pin down the exact date (and I think I probably can) I'll let you know and you can book your flights!

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, if they did also scamper about on you those must have been some happy rats/mice what with all the clevage they were getting their little tallons onto.

Revolving Credit said...

@zuzula - great! will bring polariod camera, flora shirt and fertility mask!!
(Note to self - don't take self-tan, it's considered retrosexual)

Champagne Heathen said...

Ah, so it's not the Barclays/ABSA take over that has caused the amount of new young horny Brits to influx into our little town then. Its the fact they don't get any back home for 50 weeks of every year.

Suddenly these new Brit boys make sense to me!

Peas on Toast said...

Champagne - yeah...cos I have like, the biggest tits ever. ;) (Can I claim it?)

Z - yes please do give us some mating dates doll face. Revolving and I will be on the first planes to Blighty.

zuzula said...

excellent. you and your fertility masks! i think i just felt a national hormone surge ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Hhhmmm.....Big Tits.....you mouse killer you!!

Revolving Credit said...

Anything to do with surging and moaning can only be a good start!!
(another note to self - rhino horn is neither PC nor legal, Peas to bring tequila for similar effect!)

Revolving Credit said...

As a backup plan, in case the weather changes, how far is Blighty from Cancun?

Marika said...

Sampling a few creatures indeed... although lets equate it with wine tasting instead, there are too many horrible connotations behind the cheese thing (!)...and perhaps you would find it beneficial to sample the slightly older male specimen...wine does mature with age you know ;-)

Peas on Toast said...

Tequila. And cane. I will come armed with cane. Because I promised Z some if I ever came over to the UK.
I've warned her, but I don't think she realises the full detrimental effect of Cape to Rehab in large quantities...;)

Peas on Toast said...

Marika - you know C and I were just saying last night...no more 'doesn't know what he wants' 25-year old. I'm over it. I am aiming high this time - an older man. Definitely.

Revolving Credit said...

Is that going to be the Mainstay of our beverage planning??

Peas on Toast said...

Cape to Ten Rand baby.

Z, prepare yourself. Cane, as my hairdresser said, "Is what construction workers drink." I think I may have told you this already. It's nasty, nasty stuff.

Revolving Credit said...

All that caning (suddenly sounds somewhat fetishist)caning, caning, caning (like spanking but with tools)...sorry I digress, all that caning will probably make us peckish...best I bring a bag of nuts as well ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Best! ;)

Marika said...

oh definitely!! Guys in their mid twenties who are still going through their "I don't really know what I want till I truly screw everything including my relationships up" because they don't know what they want is so old! Older guys come with their baggage too but at least they know what they want& are over the pathetic mind games guys our age are so into

zuzula said...

oohh yes, I'm desperate to try some of this stuff. is it like absynthe? because i worked as an absynthe waitress in a bar once (man, what a gig that was). it really does send people crazy that stuff.

Revolving - we have nuts in the UK! Some more exotic nibbles, please ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Exotic nibbles...sounds interesting!!
What flavours do that come in??
blonde, brunette, redhead?? A-B-C-D-DD???? Please send samples....LOL

zuzula said...

cheeky ;)

actually i've only just read Champagne's comment - sounds like all the horny young brits are already heading in your direction! so it looks like it's me who's going to have to migrate...

Revolving Credit said...

Hell girl, come on down...we'll lay on a horny safari for ya - Peas may even take ya to Sepoenda where all they apparently do is drink and shag!!

zuzula said...

it's a deal. i am SO in the wrong part of the world!

the one who scribbles said...

have recently been steered towards your direction and YAY - awesome blog! :) know about how dodgy those rhodes boys are, i am here and experiencing it first hand! ;P

Peas on Toast said...

Scribbles - hi there girlfriend. Good luck with those Rhodes boys, they're a different lot alright! :)