Being single really is so underrated. You get to do whatever the hell you want. Stuff that you ordinarily wouldn’t do when you’re too busy sucking face with another half. Let’s take my weekend, as a classic example.
- Have a dance-off with Third World Ant to Phil Collins Top 10 on VH1.
- Watch rats being raced and betted on. Live. Swear to God.
- Sing karaoke in the comfort of my lounge, with the curtains wide open and a three man audience. That said, I wonder what my neighbours think of the Annie soundtrack?
- End up at a house party with a room full of trashed people. Including myself.
- Eat pain au chocolat and Golden Smackeroos for breakfast. In bed.
- Attend a braai with Doc. Thank goodness for best guy friends. No seriously. Meet a nice looking chap at the braai, who, if you can believe this, has met me before. (Where have I heard this before? Does this sound familiar?) Turns out, unwittingly, he remembers me only too well. He happened to be sitting at the table next to ours at a restaurant in Parkhurst, the night I attended a party, not two days after I was dumped. Needless to say, I was ranting and raving in the restaurant rather loudly and drunkenly over how all men are pricks. So, basically, he must think I’m facking psycho. But nevertheless, we chatted and kind of connected better than I have with any random punter in a while. He was pretty dishy.
- Make my [incredibly delectable] salmon and zucchini surprise for dinner [with a ladle of garlic], which I don’t have to share with anyone. Or snog anyone thereafter.
- Watch a great movie, give Third Roommate admin, for his benefit, in preparation of the hook up with his ex (Do you love me, do you? Did you miss me today? Shnookie poo please go buy me some tampons?), reap two gifts from Ant – one being a camembert cheese (bless her) and a forthcoming poster promised to me of Alicia [hot bitch] Keys. Which I can hang on my ceiling and fantasise over. That’s one woman on this Earth that makes me hot. It’s the husky voice.
- Listen to all the music I want to listen to. Wham! included. Illovo was Jitterbugging this weekend.
- Go to Alexandra. To an amazing little shebeen with a group of mates. An ultimate gas. We ate pap and chakalaka with various pieces of indistinguishable meat and drank far too much beer for the Sabbath. I got one marriage proposal with the promise of 5-million cattle for lobola, and one ‘well if you ever want to get married..”. What a riot.
I actually had quite a rather busy weekend. Quite.