Saturday, September 09, 2006


I had nice evening at home with The Ant, who cooked us up some bella pasta. There were three things we discussed ad liberatum, over the said meal, wine and in between commercial breaks during Desperate Housewives:

1) The Snakes On A Plane movie:
OK, if there are two ass-shrivvelingly scary phobias people have its snakes and the potential of air disaster. Watching a movie on just snakes on the Discovery Channel alone is hair raising. (Or for me, a whoring herpaphobiac at any rate). Watching aeroplane flights gone wrong on the Reality Channel is scary. Couple these two together and you have one guaranteed scary-ass, apolexic, nerve-shatteringly, no-nails-left experience. Who would put themselves through such torture? Not me. Oh no. Perhaps sadomasochists, compulsive tatooees, wrestlers, those with piercings on their totty’s, people who lie on hot coals, you know, those who divulge pleasure from torture.

2) Venting in the form of art:
Now if blogging or writing can be looked at as an art, or a creative outlet at the very least, why is it singers and poets can write about the anguish and pain and hate they feel when the people they love wrench their hearts out from their upper torso and hurl it into a dumpster - and most pertinently - not get grief for it? Think about Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer. You know the song he sings about his ex-fiancé:

I hope you’re happy with what you did to me
Now I lie around all day feeling melancholy
But it all was bullshit
It was a goddamn joke
And if I see your face Linda,
I hope you fucking choke.

You know, clean, vent-letting lyrics like that. Or like how Justin Timberlake disses Britney in Cry Me A River. We know someone whose ex is in a band and wrote a song about her called ‘Drown Bitch.’ He’s played it to her and a crowd of admirer’s before. But not all lyrics are bad either. When singers fall in love, they profess their undying affections through the form that is their art.

But it seems that blogland makes no allowances for this. Perhaps because it is live-time, and people can comment and make their feelings known about your rambles. Perhaps it seems more personal. (Especially if they read it themselves.) Still, bloggers have an unwritten law, most of time, where they don’t even use real names. If I knew one of my ex’s had written a song about me, possibly called ‘Die Blog Woman, Die,’ I’d be flattered that he cared or felt enough to do this in the first place.

3) Men with English accents turn me on; men with Irish accents turn The Ant on. Men in general turn us on.

PS: It’s our joint birthday party tonight. Wooooooooohooo! Rock and roll. When else do you get the chance to have all your mates in one room at one time?
PPS: Doc I know you’re there in spirit my lovely. Even though it’s not the same. :(
PPPS: Traffic. Oxford Road. This Morning. Irritation.


kyknoord said...

Recreational venting can be fun, but you don't want to turn it into a lifestyle. On the other hand, it seems to have worked rather well for James Blunt...

Peas on Toast said...

Ha ha! Too true, Kyk. I don't want to be James Blunt. In between all the whining, there has to be something cool to talk about!

Ironically, I have nothing to vent abot in light of my previous lovelife and relationships. I'm pretty much done.

Ramone Allones said...

ok ok...

what is x-rated, shaped like a phallus, is initially rock hard and then al dente when ready and is to be given to developing world ant AND peas tonight as a shared birthday present?

heh heh heh!

your answers please. (hint: it's edible)

Peas on Toast said...

Ramone - we are so excited to this!
My bet is on a giant willy-shaped lollipop?

An edible dildo?

other-duke said...

i may have missed something. but whatever happened to crisp white shirt guy? did he have a booger hanging out of his nose while you were watching the dvd at his place, that you were staring at the whole time and were too grossed out to consider a second date...

ChewTheCud said...

lemme see... al dente =pasta. penis shaped pasta perhaps?

and.. Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Champagne Heathen said...

other-duke, I don't think we're supposed to ask about that. I've also been wondering, but I've gotten the impression that Peas is trying to be silent on all that is dateable men, who possess the ability to operate a mouse and read.

Jam said...

Aaaargh! When I saw the trailer for Snakes on a Plane, I thought it may be a good way for me to get over my two phobias - snakes and planes - for good. Seriously. I have always had nightmares about snakes, and I really don't enjoy flying.
Men with english accents turn me on too.

Peas on Toast said...

O-D: Champs has it right my dear. I've decided, in order not to chase away potential Loves Of My Life to keep sordid details of my dates and stuff to a minimum.
All of the guys I hook up with these days ask whether I'm going to write about them. I answer the same: "No. I mention a snog here or a date there, but no more publicity than that!" ;)

Jam - now if there were men with English accents (barring Essex) in the movie, perhaps we'd live through the fright?? ;)
So in a nutshell, I try to keep things peripheral these days.

But the date was fun enough, we got on well, but I'm not certain there was a sexual energy there.

ChewTheCud - who are you? And how did you know how my date went????

Tyler said...

Morning Peas!
It's your bday tomorrow, isn't it? Heppie, heppie!

James Blunt has been immoratlised in the East End due to him having a surname that is perfect for Cockney rhyming slang.

Saw SOAP last week - and althought the cringe factor due to dodgy acting is extremely high - it's actually quite an easy watch. Just make sure you keep your feet off the grounf just in case...

other-duke said...

fair enough ;)

ChewTheCud said...

I found that quote on a site with the worst analogies ever -

Had it in my head when I posted. Your date that bad?

Peas on Toast said...

Tyler - hello sweetheart! Nope not tomorrow angel, on the 14th! BUt thanks anyway :)

You saw SOAP? I'm not sure if you remember a certain episode where Trig took me to watch The Exorcist in Cape Town, because everyone else refused to watch it with me, cos I tend to scream out loud in scary movies. And he put false dracula teeth in his mouth and turned around to look at me, and I got such a fright my popcorn flew all over the theatre. SOAP would be way, way worse. :)

Peas on Toast said...

ChewtheCud - no the date was great. We had a lot of fun and ended up spending the day together.

Tyler said...

Bwhahaha! Yes, I do remember that - it is such a Trig thing to do, isn't it? Good man.

Do yourself a favour - if you haven't already seen it - rent The Grudge this weekend. Then we'll talk :)

Peas on Toast said...

Tyler - shitting my doondies in anticipation. I have a love-hate relationship with horror films, but I know my limits. And SOAP falls beyond those limits. :)

The Grudge is hellish scary, or so I'm told.

Thus so far, The Ring freaked me out the most when it comes to scary shit. I didn't sleep for seven days.

C said...

EEEEEK!!!! Party time!

Peas on Toast said...

C - Chunder chunder cotch and spew!

Or on second thoughts, since we're actually very ladylike and poised, show me the front side of your tochas!


PS: Prepare your liver my friend!

C said...

your a laugh a second these days...having such a giggle!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Dudeface, I'm so excited for tonight - I have such cabin fever after our weeklong detox.

Also giggling so much today - woohoo! :)

Shortypam said...

o yeah the party is tonight, woohoo, have fun ladies hope u two enjoy it and follow all my ho tips, ul bag a boof in no time!!!!!!!!!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Shorty!

If I can stand by the end of the evening, I'll try to remember all your tips dollface! xx

Crusoe said...

I only made it half way through watching The Ring at a friends house. I had my knees up in front of my face during a scary part and his cat clawed me in my nuts. I shat myself so much that I seriously thought I was having a heart attack. Haven't watched anything remotely scary since!

Stupid fucking cat!

Revolving Credit said...

Party,party, guys have a wild one and I'll catch you on the flipside. :)

LivLoo said...

hi peas

i'm a beginner blogger hailing from rhodes - check out mine to get a feel of what you're in for next week. enjoy!