I may have mentioned this before, but I love maps. Give me the Johannesburg map book before I go to bed, and I’ll study the West Rand in curious keenness, and follow a path from Bedfordview, through Yeoville and to Greenside in absolute glee.
Yes. I'm a frigging wierdo. Whatever.
So imagine my delight when I attached that nifty little map tool to the bottom of my blog.
It doesn’t just tell me, for instance, that people in Norway are reading my blog. It tells me they’re reading it in WhereTheFuck, Norway.
My satisfaction, of course, is wholly consumed by the size of the red bubbles. In other words, how many people are reading in say, Vancouver. (Not a lot, but have you seen the bubble on the Florida Keys lately?)
Nobody has an inkling about my blog on the entire South American continent. That’s where I’ll move if I need blog-asylum.
Two distinctive dots in the Deep South: I’m guessing Georgia and Louisiana. Couple of borderline Canadians, and a small dot in the middle of Nebraska. Big dots over the eastern seaboard side, I’m guessing NYC and Philadelphia? And San Diego and San Francisco on the weat coast? Am I correct?
The Scandinavians, bless. Stockholm perhaps? Couple of Germans, Dubai, Istanbul...(the big red dot over the desert-cum-Red Sea) Fascinating.
And the Ozzies. Even one or two from Melbourne and Adelaide, I think. And hang on a tick – fucking Tasmania!
Lots of Londoners – bless them – I’d imagine lots of Saffas in that lot. And Edinburgh?
What I want to know is this: Does anyone, taking the dot in Tajikistan for example, actually understand my fucked-up lingo?
I suppose I use ‘fuck’ more than ‘kuck’, but you know.
There's an Itye, a Namibian, an Austrian, and a Mozambican who lives in Beira. But what perplexes me is the huge dot over Rwanda. Seriously.
And look – Delhi! That’s Doc, everyone.(Everyone wave to Dockers.)
One or two randoms like in Tokyo and Sumatra. I just love this little ClusterMap thingie, I cannot tell you. Not sure if it’s 100% accurate though. I mean, I have a mate and cousins who read me in New Zealand, and someone told me they read me in Cyprus.
Of course, it's awesome to see most of my readers are in Cape Town and Johannesburg. And to a lesser degree, Durban. With a bit of good old Grahamstown down there in the Eastern Cape, and is that Bloemfontein?