Wednesday, October 11, 2006


I may have mentioned this before, but I love maps. Give me the Johannesburg map book before I go to bed, and I’ll study the West Rand in curious keenness, and follow a path from Bedfordview, through Yeoville and to Greenside in absolute glee.

Yes. I'm a frigging wierdo. Whatever.

So imagine my delight when I attached that nifty little map tool to the bottom of my blog.
It doesn’t just tell me, for instance, that people in Norway are reading my blog. It tells me they’re reading it in WhereTheFuck, Norway.

My satisfaction, of course, is wholly consumed by the size of the red bubbles. In other words, how many people are reading in say, Vancouver. (Not a lot, but have you seen the bubble on the Florida Keys lately?)

Nobody has an inkling about my blog on the entire South American continent. That’s where I’ll move if I need blog-asylum.
Two distinctive dots in the Deep South: I’m guessing Georgia and Louisiana. Couple of borderline Canadians, and a small dot in the middle of Nebraska. Big dots over the eastern seaboard side, I’m guessing NYC and Philadelphia? And San Diego and San Francisco on the weat coast? Am I correct?

The Scandinavians, bless. Stockholm perhaps? Couple of Germans, Dubai, Istanbul...(the big red dot over the desert-cum-Red Sea) Fascinating.

And the Ozzies. Even one or two from Melbourne and Adelaide, I think. And hang on a tick – fucking Tasmania!

Lots of Londoners – bless them – I’d imagine lots of Saffas in that lot. And Edinburgh?

What I want to know is this: Does anyone, taking the dot in Tajikistan for example, actually understand my fucked-up lingo?
I suppose I use ‘fuck’ more than ‘kuck’, but you know.

There's an Itye, a Namibian, an Austrian, and a Mozambican who lives in Beira. But what perplexes me is the huge dot over Rwanda. Seriously.
And look – Delhi! That’s Doc, everyone.(Everyone wave to Dockers.)

One or two randoms like in Tokyo and Sumatra. I just love this little ClusterMap thingie, I cannot tell you. Not sure if it’s 100% accurate though. I mean, I have a mate and cousins who read me in New Zealand, and someone told me they read me in Cyprus.

Still, fascinating.

Of course, it's awesome to see most of my readers are in Cape Town and Johannesburg. And to a lesser degree, Durban. With a bit of good old Grahamstown down there in the Eastern Cape, and is that Bloemfontein?


Pflaumenstreuselskuchen said...

There is a large red dot coming from Pflaumenstreuselskuchen land! :)

Pflaumenstreuselskuchen said...

...Bloemfontein..hmm, who might that be? Nick? Is that YOU?

Revolving Credit said...

That dot in Delhi, are you sure it's doc? Maybe it's Deepak who's taken up remote stalking.

duzbin said...

If you like maps you should come to my place.

We have a huge map of South Africa in our passage. I don't know the size, but its almost as long as the passage. It is about a third of a meter above the floor, and almost to the roof.

It used to be at an airport, Rand I think, so it does have some pin holes in it.

other-duke said...

rev. well remembered.

what's scary is that they know where you are.

I have an idea that it's not that accurate, given that internet traffic is routed around the world through the shortest/fastest path.

Still, i got one. Thanks Peas. I want to know where my readers are from. you have to know!

Do they have one for Mars.. think i have a few readers from there

Daedalus said...


I agree!!, but...
M.A.R.S. needs women!

Freddie said...

Pfft...can u imagine our peas with a tomtom sat-nav! Omg!! I shudder to think of the sheer Probably never leave the car again eh peas?:P PS...not ALL United Kingdom readers are in london k!:-P

ChewTheCud said...

they not 100% accurate - i posted on some american guys blog and he traced me. It showed up as coming from mauritius.

SwissTwist said...

And the Swiss dot doesn't even get a mention, hmph!

Forty In The Shade said...

Download Google Earth, you'll love it.

Lou said...

dot just got bigger in delhi. google earth rocks.

Boomkind said...

Rwanda? I'm in Uganda (next door) and read youre blog regularly and no I not a canibal looking at a internet take out menu, although I'm sure you are delicious.

Boomkind said...

and you are suprised taht tehre is a red dot in India? Dont many Indians have red dots?

JamesW said...

Cool map, i'm more impressed by those moving news bubbles. Hmmmm, buuubbbllleeesss

Peas on Toast said...

Pflaumie - you reckon it's Nick?? Nick you can come out of the closet now. ;)

Rev - Doc, please do a thorough check on your neighbours. That Deepak guy may be onto me.

Duzbin - I wouldn't leave your passage for hours! Stand there staring at it until you wrench me away! :)

O-D - I wanna check out your ClusterMap too - yay!

Daedalus - Mars definitely needs chicks ;)

Freddie - YOu're right, I'd never leave the car again, he he! So where you from in the UK dear?

Chew - Mauritius? Now that's awfully exotic...

Swistwist - I didn't see the dot, but yay! Where in Switzerland?

Forty - I have downloaded it, it's incredible! Can see exactly where we stayed in remotest parts of Mozambique, to my res in Cape Town, to my apartment in Jozi. It's amazing.

Lou - Three readers from Delhi? I'm a lucky girl! :) (Lou, Doc and Deepak - bless.)

Boomkind - Sincerest apologies, I was convinced the dot was over Rwanda. So you're the big Ugandan dot! And no, I'd never think you were a cannibal dollface. I'm from Africa too you know. ;)

James - That Vincent Maher is a genius. He made the newzbubbles.

AMH said...

hey peas

no austrian in austria, but one very homesick saffa. thanks for the mention!!!

xxx from Vienna.

Peas on Toast said...

Hey amh!

I'm sorry to hear you're homesick dollface. I've been to Vienna for a day, so can't say I know it too well. How long have you been there for?

kabintsimbi said...

grahamstown...amazing that it's actually on the small, too small! But, we're here & we all read your blog...well the few that actually know what a blog is & have one themselves!

those maps are cool though...don't you just love google earth? Now that's a load of fun...far too much in actual fact!

mmm...maps, road trips...yay, I'm going on one tomorrow...whohoo!

Richard said...

Vegas! Vegas its me!!!...I dont know....just thought was cool I could see myself...

AMH said...

peas- 1,5 years and it's a lovely place, but there's no place like home.

Antoine said...

I will add my little Ghana dot when I get back there next week.


Peas on Toast said...

Kabin - GTown rocks. ;)

AMH - Lots of hugs from home dollface. :)

Richard - Yay! A reader from Vegas, now THAT is cool.

Antoine - Awesome, don't have north African dots as yet!

karaoke queen said...

Osaka peas! And its not weird to be obsessed with maps.....I look at them all day at work. I still find them fascinating. And I LOOOVE my tracker on my website. Its like a game guessing who visited and didn't comment!

Freddie said...

Yet another home sick saffie residing in Manchester England England...acrosss the Atlantic Sea!..wah!

ClustrMaps Team said...

Hey, nothing "wierdo" about your interest in maps... it's great to see such enthusiasm! In fact, just to smooth the discussions about who is where, I'm gonna upgrade you to ClustrMaps+ status for free, so in a few days you'll get zoomed-in continent maps, which will help clarify all those dots considerably!! (oh, and no more ads)

No strings attached. Well, just one... you've gotta spell our name properly: it's ClustrMaps (no "e").


-CJ on behalf of the ClustrMaps Team