Thursday, October 12, 2006

my mum

Let me talk about the lady that gave birth to me via caesarean for a second. She’s a strong bird, very controlling at the best of times, but also one of the greatest people on this Earth.
Growing up I was a Daddy’s girl. I made transistor radios with him, played with electric trains, built treehouses together. Most little girls play with the Barbie and Ken pool set. I did this too, but I enjoyed hanging out with my pops.
My mum and I didn’t get on when I was a teenager. And we still argue like Italians when we are in the same room together.
But never have I been closer to my mum as I am now.

My old lady is not only my mother; she’s my ultimate confidante and mate now. She’s put up a lot with my shit over the years, but I’ve also put up with hers. But now that she considers me an adult I suppose (even though she still brings me healthy meals and offers to help out financially with doctor and dental procedures etc.), I can chat to her about anything. She only has my interests at heart.

I speak to her everyday. I tell her in length about dates I go on, ask her advice on career plans and matters of the heart. We don’t talk about sex – eew and thank God – but she knows what I do in my relationships and I certainly know what she does as well. I relay her stories of big nights out. She’ll worry about how I got home and if I drank too much, but she’ll always laugh. She’s French, and we find the same things hilarious about the Francophile culture.

I think she realises deep down that her daughter, although eccentric and wild, is actually pretty sensible when it comes to her own safety and well-being. It’s my dad who is overly-protective and isn’t quite sure if I can handle myself.

I will never for instance tell my dad I went out and got hammered and kissed an Eastern Cape farmer, or that I smoke pot on the odd occasion, or that I know what the word ‘sex’ means, like I tell my old lady. I love my dad, but we’re still very-much father and daughter, and since he lives in Cape Town, and we chat on a superficial level (and that he’s as mad as a Hatter), we’re not nearly as close as my mum and I.

Put it this way, my mum knows all about my blog, and what debauchery lies herein. My dad hasn’t a clue. He’d die a slow and painful death, so I would never voluntarily guide him here.

I’ll never forget a special bonding session my mum and I had when I was 17 years old. Over vomit. Oh yes.
I went out with some school friends to see ‘a movie’, and as things go, we went out and got hammered instead. We must’ve reeked of booze when my dad pitched up ten minutes before curfew time, revving the engine, to pick us up. Got home, room was spinning, and promptly vomited next to my bed. Forgot about it the next morning, when dad woke me up, opened the bloody curtains and bought me tea, as he did every Saturday. He noticed nothing amiss. My mother walked in and immediately knew: “Peas where is it. Where did you park a tiger?”
I pointed to the side of my bed. “Whoops.”
“She rolled up her sleeves, “Right. Let’s clean this up. Quickly. Before your father finds out and grounds you for the rest of your life.”
We cleaned it up together in silence. Dad never found out.

Mum backpacked with me around Europe for a bit, and was the ultimate trooper. Slept in a tent with me in olive groves in Italy, made friends, came out to pubs with me (but resisted the club scene, thank goodness). She was more like a sister than a mother on that trip.

We swap clothes, she knows how to have a party but also back down at the appropriate moment, she’s travelled and lived abroad extensively, in places like Angola, Thailand and Dubai. On her own for the most part. She’s amazing.

I dig her. She drives me mad, I drive her mad; but my mother is just so special.

PS: R is taking me down to Natal in ten days time. With Moogs and his girlfriend L. He says he's keen to see where I grew up and wants me to show him my boarding school. How sweet is that?

33 comments:

Jam said...

It's amazing that you've got such a great mum!
Mine is a wonder as well. Although she lives in Cape Town, when I am really stressed we talk all the time. She's the greatest!
Will be interesting to see if R and you are able to go away well together...

boldly benny said...

Aren't mums amazing - I think many of us only really start to appreciate the mum-daughter dynamic once we are adults. I think they all drive us a bit mad but through the ups and downs an incredible relationship develops.
She sounds like a fascinating woman.
Meanwhile - very exciting about your impending holiday.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - Mum's are the people to head for when undergoing break-up torture. Mine's helped me literally pick myself off the floor. :(
As for holidaying together, we've been away lots together in the past. As mates of course. (July, Vaal weekends, etc.)

Boldy - so true. Only over the past cople of years have we really started to get close and appreciate each other for who we really are. It's so great. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Peas has a boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend...

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Oh don't you bloody start. :)
The Ant helped me define what I have at the moment: Current Flavour we call it. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

So what is the Current Flavour?
R = Rum & Raisin?

Peas on Toast said...

Something like that. ;)

Pete said...

Ja your mom sounds okay, but mine has a blog so I win:)

Third World Ant said...

Rev - the way Peas likes him he must be more of a double-toffee double-chocolate mint crisp blueberry cream cheese cappuccino strawberry flavour.

Yep, I'd say that's a pretty good description of his flavour.

Revolving Credit said...

Ant - with or without sprinkles??

Third World Ant said...

Rev - well now you're asking for intimate details, for which there's someone far better equipped to supply than I...

kabintsimbi said...

I miss my mommy & daddy! *sighs*...I must agree with you, moms are the greatest. They just get you, know exactly what's ticking upstairs in the clock box & are always willing to just be 'mom', 'mommy' or 'ma'! They answer to every & any call that we give them...I love my mom.

Now my dad, what a guy! He's just a blast...sings songs with his guitar around a campfire (obviously inebriated) & knows when & how to cook you a good breakies when you're as hungover as a dog! He actually makes my mother freshly squeezed orange juice most morning, I mean, the man stands there grinding them fruits away (ooh, that sounds odd!) but you catch my drift!

Parents...they are most definately two very important & influential people!

ps: mine get me drunk as often as possible! They just love a good old spontaneous party...it's weird actually, the kids are the parents & the parents are the kids...oh deary me...I need a life!

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - please supply me with details of your mum's blog, classic!

Rev and The Ant - I'm happy with just vanilla. No but seriously. :)
Sprinkles are nice though...

Kab - your folks sound like a hoot! Bless.

Koekie said...

Hey Peas... the best thing I could've ever done for my mom's and my relationship was to MOVE OUT. Going to varsity 1000km away also helped... we're now living (in separate houses) in the same city and I'm proud to call her best friend ;-)

Ag, sweet.

Pete said...

It's the first link on my blogroll.

Peas on Toast said...

Koeks - that's exactly it. Cept I really left home at 13. But to have my own place since varsity certainly helped things.

Pete - awesome, will pop in for a visit!

Antoine said...

Mum's are amazing creatures. I do know mine kept us kids sane when we were young and bought good things.

Thumbs up for Mums!

Shortypam said...

i want ur mom... how much do u want 4 her peas?

Peas on Toast said...

Antoine - aye aye!

Shorty - bless, she'd love to know that. But this mum's not for sale. :)

Kate said...

Dude - I'm so jealous! Cherish that relationship like the precious and amazing stuff that it is!

I love my mom, but we have the most tense relationship ever! She really has no idea who I really am, because we cant talk about real important stuff without fighting - so we've sacrificed a meaningful relationship for peace.

It makes me so sad!

Champagne Heathen said...

Aah, it is a wonderful day when you realise that your mom & you have become best friends! Except for those moments my mom gives me clothes she's just bought and says, "Do you want this? It's too big for me". Then, I love her just that little much less.

Then, on a freezing Monday night, I watch her take a big gulp of wine and say, "Right. I am off to caddy for your dad while he plays Night Golf, cause I just have to know how this is done". And then I love her more...for always being one person madder than me!

Peas on Toast said...

OK chaps, before you go on...
My mother dearest has just told me that she's part of the Great Wall of China Club.

"Similar to that of the Mile High Club."

She boofed on the wall.

I think I am going to vomit. I need to leave the office and go and drink that image away this instant.

Champagne Heathen said...

Well Done Peas' Mum!!!!! Excellent Form!

(I can say this so happily as I am no relation of hers).

How do you even end up on that convo? Was she showing you her recent holiday pics and..."Here is us in Beijing...and this is the Emperor's Palace...and this is where we boofed along the Great Wall, wow were the happy snappers loving us then!....and here we are at...".

Peas on Toast said...

Champers - she read this blog spot and sent me a little email saying thanks. And added, fatally, at the bottom in a PS:
"So you think your mum is cool? Well guess what..."

I really am not coping with this sharing of information.

C is taking me out for a drink after work. Not coping not coping.

Pete said...

Speaking of the mile high club, I found this this morning, it takes a while, but the the mile high bit is AWESOME!!

rocket said...

Bless.

High Fives - all round.

Revolving Credit said...

Oh Peas, you mom does set the bar ever so high, doesn't she.

Sounds like you've got some pretty big boots to fill...

So why don't you ask R if he's ever been to China. If not, would he like to take you there.....

....boyfriend, boyfriend

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Hasn't she just.

If I ever go to the Great Wall of China, my memory will be continually warped by images of...oh God, mock charge.

Boyfriend, hmm, where? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Peas to boyfriend sorry I mean R:
'Wanna nail me to the wall, China'

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - hahahahaha!
God you're a bloody riot. Although, that is slightly sick. Since my mum nailed it before me.

Oh God.

Revolving Credit said...

Who, R?

Now thats just sick!

Freddie said...

Wait till u guys...become moms urself...(of course that doesnt apply to the male folk - pre-empting a remark from Rev.) Pretty tricky trying to find the balance between super cool mom and super efficient disciplinarian.

Especially when you didnt have what I would consider the ideal role model. I love her and appreciate her bringing me into this world...but I am sad to say... she was far too busy chasing her own dreams to pay much attention to her growing children. Now... we get along...but I can only take her in very ...small....doses.

Being a mother would have to be..THE most awesome experience I have yet to encounter..my kids keep me on my toes, keep me laughing out loud and also banging my head against a brick wall! They are pains in the arse but when they snuggle up for a shmoozie...all is forgiven and forgotten...

End of sermon...lol

Katt said...

Okay, so I am a bit late here. YOU KISSED AN EASTERN CAPE FARMER? Are you nuts? Okay, you were plastered... I hope it isn't anyone I know because if it is, eeeeewwww, poor you!