Friday, October 06, 2006

haemorrhoid


haemorrhoid
Originally uploaded by peas on toast.
Inyoka, a dear reader of mine sent me this beeyoot for my veheeicle this morning.

In other news, I think I just cum.

Let me explain.

Well serve me shit on a shingle, have things but changed.
An interesting turn in light of Certain Someone. Looks like I’ve landed myself in the operating seat. I think.

He phoned me last night, (notice how he is doing all the phoning and emailing? Oh yes.) When I was heading to the Jolly Roger for a toot or two with my bitches.
Asked if I’m at home. Negative Ghostrider.
Would I join him for dinner? Negative Ghostrider “am with my bitches for the evening.”
I said I’d see him on Saturday for the dinner, as planned.
“Oh, what about Friday? Any plans? Cos I was thinking of going to the St John’s fireworks. I can get you a ticket?”

I said I would if he sorts it out, but that he can’t have his cake and eat it, so we’re still just friends.

Today I got this:
So, can I have my cake and eat it?
I got you a ticket for the fireworks, so you are mine from 6pm tomorrow.
And I expect lots of attention! Please bring cake! I will do the wine.


Sorry to admit this, but now I am certain I just cum.

Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

30 comments:

Marika said...

Go girl! See what happens when you let someone else do the chasing?! Sit back and enjoy the ride (no pun intended :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Marika - I know, this is too awesome! :)

I digress: my legs stay firmly closed until all his eggs are in my basket. So to speak.

Marika said...

ha ha, yes that is probably wise... you don't want to give away the good stuff without some sign that he's for real! :-)

kyknoord said...

I dub thee the new Marie Antoinette.

Peas on Toast said...

Marika - exactly.

Kyk - ah, oui? Pourquoi?

Kate said...

Excellent (rubbing hands together in a slightly Dr Frankenstein-esque way)!

A new plan forms, a new path emerges....

Sorry - I'm in a weird mood (fucking temping). What I mean to say is: this is a much better, more acceptable attitude of his - dontcha think?

Peas on Toast said...

He he Kate!

I'm not jumping the gun though. This is better, but again, I don't want to be stuffed around. So I shall proceed with caution... :)
Still, noice.

Champagne Heathen said...

Call me slow today, but does he really want you to bring cake? Or just a cookie?

But Kyk, Marie Antionette wanted them to also eat their cake. Peas is all against cake eating. For today at least.

Peas on Toast said...

Yes, let's feed the masses cake rather. :)

Bloody hell, d'you think he wants to see my cookie?

Can't believe I just said that.

Champagne Heathen said...

Yes, you can feed all the little St John's boys cake. No cookies!! Not they'd be interested in the latter if stereotypes of schools are anything to go by. (I am barely making sense even to myself by this stage!)

I am almost certain he wants to see your cookie & for you to see fireworks.

Peas on Toast said...

Champers you're a scream. :)

My cookie ain't seeing no fireworks, even if it wants to. :)

kabintsimbi said...

Hell yay! That just put a smile on my face for you! Glad Certainsomeone got his arse into gear!

If only my fuckwit guy would do the same! I am moving on all aloof-like & non-chalent! I shall take heed of your actions & try do the same! I will prevail...I will get my fireworks show!

Peas on Toast said...

kabintsimbi - hey dollface. Is this guy your boyfriend?
I say lay it on thick: "I'm off to a digs party with Paul, John, Matthew and Scott. Have an excellent evening, don't wait up!"

kabintsimbi said...

Oh god, how long do you have? We met in April & have being seeing one another when I'm back home in Cape Town during uni breaks! I don't know what it is...I thought it was a something but apparently it's a nothing but he has feelings & gets jealous at the thought of me seeing another guy! Phones me all the time, we speak all the time etc etc etc blah blah blah...you get my point!

I've fallen for him...and I just feel like getting off this fucking planet! He's the first person I've ever fallen for, allowed myself to be so open with etc etc...and I am his first something too, apparently. I do trust him! I mean it's not a complete joke whatever it is that we have!

So in answering your questions, no he's not my bf no matter how much I would love him to be!

Peas on Toast said...

Babe it seems to me he likes you just as much back, or he wouldn't phone you all the time and get jealous about another guy. What I reckon is he's there, you're here, so he probably doesn't want to make a commitment based on that. Circumstantial. It sucks.

I say keep your options open. Still see him when you're there, but date other people as well. Then you won't feel as intense either maybe. I'm sure you're a hot little poppet with lots of dudes after you. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

I will be impressed with your self-constraint, considering you have been wanting...um...fireworks for a few months now. But then again, a woman with her mind stubbornly decided is a...um...tough cookie to make crumble!

joe said...

From my calculations CS wants to have your cookie and milk during your 4 days of wanting to kill people.

This could turn into a very interesting night indeed! ;-)

Champagne Heathen said...

Milk?!?!? This analogy is getting stranger (or more disturbing?) by the comment!

duke said...

You have the upper hand - for now. Remember though, guys are just as good at faking sincerity to get access to the panty-hamster as girls are at faking coldness to get emotional commitment.

So he might be double-bluffing, sistah.

Anonymous said...

milk, lemonade, chocolate...

kabintsimbi said...

Well thanks for the heads up! The problem is that I don't look at anyone else & am not interested in anyone. I'm so utterly whipped it makes me sick! Oh well, I'll eat chocolate! That's always the answer....

But thanks yo!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks chaps.
I agree though. If he just wants to get into my pants, then he's going to be very disappointed. Very. ;)

God luck Kabintsimbi
xx

M said...

hey Peas, long time since I posted! seems you are keeping well! Love the cluster map, although not all that accurate as have personally visited your blog from Madagascar, Nigeria, Malawi, Uganda and even Burkina Faso in the past few months!! In a) a valiant effort to boost your country numbers or b) bored out of my mind in another small African hotel with terrible bandwidth! Regardless I always enjoy the read! Keep well! m

Peas on Toast said...

Ah M, or should I say David Livingston - that's awesome! :)
Burkino Faso, that's helluva exotic-like. I'm glad you remembered me in deepest darkest!

I only got the map like three days ago though, so perhaps that's why only Mozambique and Malawi register at this point.

I have a reader (Erik) who works in Antarctica. Disappointed it isn't on my map!

Kevin Cadman said...

Peas!

It's human nature to want what we can't have. The "I don't give a shit what you think, yo!" approach works so well.

Hope it all works out.

Oraaait baaai!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Kev. :)

We'll see hey? I'm not counting on anything or expecting anything. And that suits me just fine. Self-protection I say! :)

Jam said...

The moment my dearest boyfriend decided to stop chasing me, I started chasing him. Furiously. Funny how that works out - it's true, sometimes it just takes a little cold shouldering...
Anyway. Hope the fireworks are not too soggy.
Where you ever a Girl Guide? They're into selling cookies. I mean, really.

Champagne Heathen said...

Ha Ha, almost makes you chuckle at what girl guides grow up to be...selling their cookies and all!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - was never a Girl Guide. But if the rain washes out the fireworks, perhaps I can go home and bake cookies. :)

Champs - I'd eat my cookies.

Oh my God. That just sounds appalling.

Champagne Heathen said...

Though I do think you could end up on some cheesy america "Incredible Never Believe It Was Possible" tv show.

Or in porn. You'd make millions!