Tuesday, October 10, 2006

lovely weekend

Um. Bloody hell.

K, was going to write about my fabulous weekend in candid detail and then thought better of it since He said he’d read my blog, so like, no.

Key words. Nap over, rowing around Zoo Lake amongst duck effluent and breakfast at Moyo. Let’s call a Certain Someone a new name now. I think Guy I'm Now Sort Of Kind Of Seeing is appropriate.

Right. He also told me to write that he has a huge penis. Not that I’d know. We only kissed.

Ok, so, details of normality: Saturday was our singles formal dinner. We have been organising this for the last two months. And figured, what with blind dates and hopeful potentials, it could go one of two ways. Either a complete blast where everyone gets on like a house on fire, or a complete fucking train wreck.

Luckily the formal dinner was great. N, Klo, E2, C, C3 and I prepared for it the entire day. Cooking, titivating, laying tables, putting lights everywhere and getting all prettied up. I love dressing up, I really do. I even got flowers, lovely.

Was a little debaucherous, what with everyone sucking face in N’s garden, and then C fell in the pot plant, E2 and Klo had Smarties being eaten off them, people were graunching all over the lawn, and I got headbutted and now have a Bubba lip. Cruised to the Colony Arms in our ball gear. We played drinking games which revolved around tasks. Like writing your partner’s name in the air with your ass, pass the ice, feeding your meal to your partner at the same time (we had to do this one), giving your partner mouth to mouth resuscitation on the floor (again, me), telling your partner ten things you like about them, stupid cool stuff like that. It was a bloody scream.

Friday was nice too. He took me to fireworks at St John’s.
A few points I’ll remember:
1) Porter Potties are the most appalling pieces of urinary equipment on this green Earth.
2) Bands were playing and we jumped around a bit. Till some bitch landed on my toes. All her 60 kg weight on my toe squashed into the collective restraint of a stiletto heel. It was rather fucking painful.
3) The Dove phoned me. I think she’d been smoking too many cigarettes, because I thought she was a guy. Hilarious. Couldn’t hear her over the noise and she smsed me saying: “It’s The Dove you tart. Can’t believe you thought I was a guy…fucker.” God I hosed myself.
4) We did handbrake turns in his car in the underground parking of the Thrupps Centre. It was pretty hysterical.
5) His uncle sails boats. He asked if I’d go sailing with them. Me: “As long as there are rocks everywhere and waves crashing into the boat, like off the Transkei coast. I don’t want Mediterranean-type calm and flat shit. I want action.” Sorry, what? What crap did I just spew from my pie-hole? I’d most certainly die from aneurysm.

Had a Pimms with Ramone Allones, Moogs and crew at the Joburg Country Club on Sunday, then got the shakes and decided best I spend the rest of the day having a doo doo.

Fun weekend, very cool.

44 comments:

kabintsimbi said...

ooh first comment...it's like a reward!

Kiff city re: the "lovely weekend"...it sounded like a blast. I love the part where you write your partner's name in the air, that must have been very entertaining to both partake in & watch from the sidelines. There is nothing better than a good old party that you've been dying to have & go splendidly...hear, hear!

So glad the Certain someone has evolved into and 'R'. Damn well finally!

ps: did you tell him that by saying that he has a um...how shall i put this...large member...many would consider him to be lying...it's like a survival technique...they do it 'cos they feel the need to prove that it's not that bad! whatever makes your bum hum...

Peas on Toast said...

Kabintsimbi - howzit dollface!

It was hilarious. Definitely going to have more of these formal dinner thingies, too much fun!

As for his member, I remain mum. ;)

There were some movies taken as well - those are seriously funny. People lapdancing on each other etc. He he he!

Pete said...

HA! so you cracked:) As for the movies,YOUTUBE!

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - I cracked, but I was a good girl. :)

Those movies ain't going anywhere near YouTube, they are dodgy dodgy!

Pete said...

tsk tsk. I won't lie, I am sorry I wasn't at the colon to see that (loveed the johndeer link btw).. That place is just awesome:)

Peas on Toast said...

Pete by the time we got to the colony, I didn't know whether I was coming or going. We were all scutters.

Jumping around etc, or so I'm told...

Pete said...

A night there is not complete unless someone pours a johndeere down your throat, straight out of the jug..

kyknoord said...

I presume yo mean "doo doo" in the "nap" sense, rather than the "bowel evacuation" sense?

Revolving Credit said...

So can you spell 'Chad' with your ass in the air?

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - Oh yes, there were John Deeres aplenty!

Kyk - the nap sense, he he! :)

Rev - Let me try....absolutely. Chad's still my number 1 boytjie. :)

Jam said...

So because I'm cheeky and I know that he's probably reading this - does this mean that Certain Someone has become Certainly Someone??

Peas on Toast said...

Jam you cheeky bugger.

I don't know. I'm chilled, so it's cool.
Who knows :)

C said...

Dude..john deere gear, yay!!!

Peas on Toast said...

I knew you'd approve Poen. ;)

JD said...

C Holland, no ways! Don't believe you did all that stuff with him!

Peas on Toast said...

JD - Oy! He was a sweetheart. He even hid the evidence of the broken potplant for C's sake. :)

kabintsimbi said...

Wait...is there any way for us peeps to know if he's read it or not? Your blog I mean...how will we know...I mean, we know you know but when can we know?

Peas on Toast said...

Kabint - let's just assume he has/will, even if he hasn't.

Oh Lord, this is when I wish nobody knew about my blog. Perhaps I should start a new entirely anonymous one.

It is the question said...

Peas - youcertianly will have to start an entirely new anonymous one - you can't keep details from us! This is the blog we come to for details.

kabintsimbi said...

We will find you no matter where you go...but please stay & entertain us some more!

Revolving Credit said...

'His uncle sails boats'
This is the same uncle who took you all sailing after the Durban July....plot thickends!

Jam said...

Okay R, Certain Someone - we dare you to SAY SOMETHING

Crusoe said...

What if his uncle is a pirate? Or maybe "his uncle sails boats" is code for something sinster and evil?

Anonymous said...

You're so clever Peas.
Tell 'R' about your blog, race home and make sure all of the last couple of weeks posts are safely tucked away in your archives.
I like the way you think.

zuzula said...

how exciting. so annoying that you can't tell us more! (but totally get why not).

Peas on Toast said...

Is it question - this is torture.

kabint - always dollface, always. :)

Rev - Damn these good memories! You're onto something.

Jam - oh god, oh god, please don't tempt anything! I told him my blog is The Ant's blog, but he didn't seem convinced. Wonder how long it'll take him to find this?

Crusoe - lol. No he's an awesome oke. His family is super chilled, I like them.

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - I should've done it sooner - eeeeek!

Zu - Rev is onto something, I'd love to tell you more, but I can't.

ChewTheCud said...

Lol - the ant has a boyfriend she writes about. If he's not a dumbass he'll know its not you and find your true blog. There is a link right there on the page...

Peas on Toast said...

Chew - it should take him about 0.2 seconds to find it.

Revolving Credit said...

If I recall correctly, you spent an extra day in Durbs with R(rrr)and 1 or 2 others. Something about 5 peeps sharing a hostel room.
Didn't you wake up next to him, well hung over, on some couch?
You may have thought he was kinda cute, but you weren't looking too hard, since you'd just split from Small Ass, although it appears R(rrr) was trying to impress or console or both.
It was at this point that you met Unshaven.
All of this transpired while you were in a Jagerbomb induce trance.

Correct any of this statements if they are inaccurate...it was a few months ago and there's a fair chance I was hungover will reading the initial post

Peas on Toast said...

Holy shit Rev! You know my life events better than I do! Ten out of ten for, like, the best memory EVER!

At that stage R also had a girlfriend. Didn't wake up with him on a couch, (I don't think?) but um, yah, the other stuff is pretty much it.

Amazing!

Revolving Credit said...

Looks like I'am able to remotely pseudo-stalk both you and Champs simultaneously; all of this in the free moments between drinks and the occasional appearance at my desk ...when I'm done this 'Stalking in 21 Easy Steps' book is going to be a best seller!!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev I'm amazed, seriously! :)

I want a VIP invite to your book launch, you hear!

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas - it'll be our faces on the front cover, as when he finally knows what we look like then we know his stalking tactics are successful!

Steer clear of all cameras being weilded by strange men in trenchcoats.

(Finally I found how to update your page. Blogger has yet to beat in me a day's work of procrastination!)

Peas on Toast said...

Yay! Champers has access!

Yeah Rev, we want side profile shots for the front cover mkay. Our good sides :)

Revolving Credit said...

Champs - red shoe, red shoe, change your foot...*flash*

Champagne Heathen said...

With me you look for red shoes. With Peas you just have to look for a girl shaking her ass about in attempt to spell words. I'm thinking Peas will be easier to track down!

Peas on Toast said...

..Or you can find us dancing like monkeys at houses at the Vaal or the Colony Arms together. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

I was dancing like a perfect lady on Sat night though!!! Straight out of a Pride&Prejudice waltz at 1 stage.
Twirl twirl dip *aack there's the colony floor* spin kick *sorry* twirl dip knee-lift-while-trying-to-keep-short-skirt-in-tidy-order..."enough of this R, dance with Peas and someone please pass me that green jug!"...

....Peas, I am amazed not more people claim to have met you or me or photographed us after each week-end!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - I don't remember much from Colony. I remember him buying me a john deere, sitting down at a table, and then he dragged me out of there. Thank heavens.

Zu - you still there? Zuzula had a similar sounding awesome weekend with a lovely guy it seems...:)

Champagne Heathen said...

You danced in between that time. That's about all I can tell you. I danced, then remet everyone I met the w.end before. I don't think you sang...ohgod, flashback from my side...I SANG!! With strangers. Ohgod ohgod.

Revolving Credit said...

Champs, after that much tequila, John Deers and/or sangria, no-one is a stranger any longer!!

Champagne Heathen said...

Exactly. Me and some chick (who I found afterwards is still in school) became convinced we were long lost friends. Then I bought us tequila. I think that means I now can be arrested.

Revolving Credit said...

Why are they going to arrest you? Was the tequila that shit 'Poising a minor'??