Saturday, October 21, 2006

the state of things

Something’s happened to me. This last week, I have never been more exhausted in my life. Barring the time of course, while backpacking round Europe and not sleeping for an entire week in Greece, but that’s another story altogether.

I think 2006 has finally caught up with me. Year of big highs and big lows, juiced together with exorbitant amounts of alcohol. I have binge burnout. And now I am so tired, I could fall asleep in someone’s vomit and wouldn’t notice. In fact, being awake would be more uncomfortable right now. Chose bed over a night out with mates last night.

C has a new car, which I have affectionately named La Bagnol de la Poenette. La Poenette for short. It is a Peugeot, so one must remember its French ancestry. And since the owner is a Poen, well, it’s only natural to call it The Wheels of The Poen Lady. N’est ce pas?

E and her boyfriend bought a house in Melville. Congrats guys! And bless your little cotton underrods.

Work continues to become a serious thorn in my side. Due to other private projects I have going at the moment, which I am throwing quite a bit of my energy into, and due to severe exhaustion, work has become for me the ultimate nightmare. But due to these projects, it’s not in my best interests to job search just yet. Next year definitely. I am procrastinating, not enjoying anything, anything I write about, and am not enjoying my boss even more.
As the movie protagonist in Office Space declares: Every day is the worst day of my life here. Which means every day is worse than the one before.

Chad is growing into a big boy. And becoming tamer. The little dude closes his eyes when I stroke his head. That’s love right? The man loves me. Oh yes he does. He’s my boytjie-boychie-boykes.

How is it that I have no fresh doondies in my Nice Doondie Drawer? My nice doondies are either a) missing, or b) at the bottom of my laundry bag. God knows it’s been ages since I’ve used my favourite underwear. I have three Doondie Drawers. Beautiful, expensive underwear; normal underwear; and Woolies 3-colour pack underwear. Fuck.

Bureaucracy. Besides everything electronic in my immediate proximity going kapoot, my admin is fast building up. I’m too broken at the moment to fix this [necessary] electronic stuff, nevermind go and collect my latest car license disc in town, figure out what ever happened to my tax returns that SARS appears to have misplaced like they do Every. Fucking. Year (Does my name read Miss Please O’LoseThis or something? For FUCK’S sake), and pay a speeding fine, and get a vitamin B12 injection on top of work, work, work.

I’m sinking.

I’m not coping. It’s come to the point where I am seriously considering hiring someone to do this all for me. It may cost me thousands of ront, but perhaps I’ll live to sleep another day. I’m really just too fucking tired.

And now I’m going to Natal. Maybe I won’t remember any of it because I’ll be in a coma the whole weekend. Good times? Someone may have to tell me.

PS: I will be drinking myself retarded in the car. Whether Moogs and R like it or not.

32 comments:

kyknoord said...

Now if you can figure out how to sleepwalk, you'll be all set.

Peas on Toast said...

Well I'm pretty much doing it now Kyk, so I reckon I'm sorted. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Sounds like someone needs a Redbull.
Last night got given a Special Jagerbomb - when they replace the Redbull with champagne. Seemed like a good idea at the time, not so sure this morning though.

Peas on Toast said...

Champagne and Yaygie, that actually sounds delicious Rev! Although bless your pounding koppel big guy. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

No, I think its the tequila that caused the trouble, as usual.

duke said...

B-O-O-Z-E.

Spells "exhaustion". Giving it a rest might be a more sensible option. I'm just taking a flier here, it is a central nervous system depressant.

Peas on Toast said...

Duke - I haven't had, barring one or two drinks at Jolly the other night, anything boozy the whole week. In fact it's been early nights and nothing else.

I really am too tired to lift the glass to my lips.

Mike Hussey said...

Peas-
What is your rhythm for tonight?

It is the question said...

So what does one say when taking your vibrator for repairs? (Never mind that, where do you take a vibrator for repairs?)

"Uh, 'scuse me. It says on the box that this is supposed to be good for 5000 hours. It's only done 4512?"

Peas on Toast said...

Mike - my rythym for tonight is driving down to Natal my friend. Possibly asleep the whole way.

It is question - You buy a new one chine. :)

It is the question said...

Ah. You need to be more specific when you say that some "necessary electronic equipment needs fixing" then.

Jeez, I thought it was obvious what you were referring to. Now it's all cryptic.

Peas on Toast said...

Nah, unfortnately the stuff that needs fixing is the stuff I was bitching about two posts down. Stuff like plug points, electric windows, the DStv decoder...*sigh*

Can't it just fix itself?

Jam said...

You've had a rough year. It's only natural to be exhausted. I think we often underestimate how tiring it can be to walk a highly emotional line all the time. Hating your job doesn't help either. It's great that you're going away this weekend. Take some time to breathe, to move slowly.
Have a good one!!

Anonymous said...

hey peas. you can take your licence disc to midas (hardware car stuff place) and pay them R80 to go and fetch it for you. it usually takes one working day. i think some postnet branches do it too.

kabintsimbi said...

eish but you don't sound healthy! Smile...you're going away this weekend! I did it last weekend & it was fantastic, granted I did a lot of work while away but just getting out of your routine is what is needed! And the fact that you're going away with certain someone (I think) just makes it all better!

Take a chill pill, go buy yourself some new undies (like, you totally have a good excuse now to hit La Senza & all other brilliant & over-priced undie wear shops) & enjoy the ride this weekend!

Otherwise, keep on rockin that funbus of yours!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - tell me about it. And since yors sounds pretty similar to mine Jammiepoo, look after yourself too. The exhaustion is amenace I tell you. xx

Anon - YOU ARE A LIFESAVER. I LOVE YOU. I DON'T KNOW YOU, BUT I LOVE YOU. There's a Midas pretty close to my house. Thank you x infinity!

Kabint - I really may to stop and buy new underwear today before we hit the road. I suppose that's pretty exciting. And you're right, maybe a weekend away will do me the world of good! :)

Champagne Heathen said...

If you take that Special Jagerbomb, leave the champagne, reintroduce the red bull, and don't let the jagermeister anywhere near it...then you'll have my perfect drink! And also have me bouncing off the ceiling...they serve that as a cocktail @ The Circle in Greenside.

Have an excellent break this w.end, Peas! Think about the admin next week on your return & not a minute before. And don't think or analyse or stress (easier said than done, but try do it).

I also reckon when the rains finally arrive in Jo'burg, and settle the pollen, everyone will have more energy.

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah the pollen is a bitch hey Champers? Reeking havoc with the sinuses.

Yeah, I need a break. A serious break. With no thoughts of JHB life for at least two whole days...

Sleuth said...

Hi Peas
First time writer. Was asked by a friend to get a recent picture of you.
(Don't ask me why!)

There is one out there (on that interconnected link of computers, I often like to refer to as the inter .. cyber .. arghh, I don't have a name for it right now!) isn't there?

I mean, I saw your one on flickr, but that's like 15 years old.

Thanks for all the entertainment, miss.

PS, have you been to your old school website recently. Is any of those of you?

Thanks again.

Peter Barlow said...

I dont meant to sound like your mother Peas, but take some time to be kind to yourself and your body...boozing it up is great but if you do it too often, like you said, you get binge burnout and who is to blame for that?

Peas on Toast said...

Sleuth - and just who is this mate of yours my dear? ;)

'Fraid I can't really help you out with the picture scenario my dear. As for my old school website and my flickr account, you're welcome to guess. ;)

I just don't do photos when it comes to blogging, but I'm sure there is one of me out there somewhere, if you find it, that's cool with me. :)
xx

Peter - No you're too right dear. My mother gave me the whole "who is to blame for it but you?" speech this morning. Luckily I'm too tired to even comtemplate much else oher than sleeping right now. ;)

tBerry said...

Peas, you sound exhuasted. I get like that as well, and the only way out of it for me is EXERCISE! For some reason it gets me going.
So, as Queen said, Get on that bike and Ride!
3 birds, one stone. You sort out your exhuastion, get fit for 94.7km, and its great for toning!

Peas on Toast said...

tBerry - are you being serious chine?
Well I may have to do some in bonny old doone aka Hilton this weekend...;)

Sleuth said...

Peas, damn!

A friend of mine... (Sigh, that just sounds bad.) But really. A friend of mine. Its a she, and she turned me onto you. (That sounds bad too - she's not like THAT, wait, even that sounds bad. And she didn't TURN ME ONTO you either, - sounds bad.)

Not that I don't want to know what you look like :-)

At some point I just have to stop digging.

Get some sleep, peas, I think I need some too.

I'll still get that photo of yours... someday. Kloos?

Take care of yourself.

boldly benny said...

Hi Peas
I can totally relate on the work issue I take on so much freelance work and I throw myself into it and then feel like I shot myself in the foot because I get uber stressed and bogged under with all the deadlines - but I also know it's worth it.
I can definitely say that changing jobs will do you the world of good. I changed jobs four months ago and my quality of life has improved drastically. I really hated my previous job, it drained me and every morning was a real push to get motivated. I am so happy with my change and while there are days (like today) when I'm not in the moodly to work, on a whole I have never looked back from leaving my previous job. I know it's easy for me to say, "Right you need to to do xyz and life will be good, but I am just speaking from my own experience."
I am sure you'll make the changes necessary at your own pace.
Short-term, going away is going to do you the world of good - as much as I love Jozi it's very intense and I think it's necessary for everyone to have a bit of time out!
Have fun and leave everything to do with Jozi behind.

tyler said...

I have photos of Peas during her hedonistic varsity days to the highest bidder. The ones where she's streaking on Camps Bay beach are not for sale though :)

zuzula said...

oh god I'm exactly the same. I've hardly been out this week and I still just can't get out of bed in the mornings. I'm blaming seasonal affective disorter cos it's getting cold here now... can't possibly be the booze though, no way!

Billy said...

Have a tiptop weekend Peas.

Jam: whats up with your site, i cant get on. have some "new boss" details on mine as per your request.

Daedalus said...

Ertjie, just popped in to say: "Oi !" ;-)
"Enjoy" da sea! :x

Carlz said...

definitely a year of major highs but levelled out with terrible lows - i hear u on that one! yet again - me too am staying in tonight! travel safe hun!

Peter Barlow said...

Good on ya Peas, sleep is good! ;-)

Peas on Toast said...

Ah thanks chaps. I hear you - a new job would probably sort this all out. It's really the thing that makes all of this so much worse!

Tyler - keep those photoes under lock and key my boy! :)

Anyway chaps, thanks for your kind comments, I just need to get through till the end of the year...pushing on, pushing on.