Tuesday, November 14, 2006

clipple on my nipple

The weekend started with my boyfriend coming over on Friday to sing karaoke. I fucking love it when my boyfriends understand my need to belt out a tune with the poise of a strangled feline. Luckily, thus far, they all have. And partake along with me.

He sang Nirvana, which was slightly amusing; I sang um, John Legend. Headed off to the Mandog with Moogs, L, C and the crew, and I wore my once-a-year tiniest, blingiest gold belt mini-skirt. It takes nerves and lots of Dutch courage to wear something that that almost shows my bottom. I was not alone, obviously, for the establishment boasts many a chick wearing similar things. 'Cept they’re 18, and have the grace of a gazelle when pulling one off. But I figure I’m not getting any younger, I should reap my twentysomething pins for as long as I can. When I’m 30, I’ll stop trying to look so young, and give up. Let gravity and such take over as the course of ageing will only allow. God that freaks me out.

Saturday was E’s birthday party, starting off as a giggle and drinks by her pool.
We did not stop giggling the entire day, C and I thought we were hilarious - we tend to think we are anyway - what with posing as FHM models on the edge of the eternity pool, we thought this was too funny, when actually we were probably just really sad.

Did you know that Jaegermeister was originally intended to help cows with colic? Which explains why everyone has the shits on Saturday morning. Urban legend? I think not. I met someone else who is also terrified of Kreepy Krauly’s/Baracuda’s/Pool Cleaning Devices!
I
Am
Not
Alone
In
My
Cocoon
Of
Terror.
We should start a support group. He also has nightmares about them, thinks they’re gonna suck up his leg and actually have teeth, and thinks it purposefully chases him around the pool.
You know it’s a good party when:

1) You wake up in your boyfriend’s bed wearing a bikini.
2) There is a hairclip attached to your right nipple.
3) You have tomato sauce all over your face.
4) Sit talking to a car guard about life then remember that you actually have to be somewhere, hence the reason for going to your car. But where?
5) You tried to watch a DVD, and due to epic double vision you sit giggling on the couch with one eye open and one closed. Because with one eye closed, Val Kilmer is one person, not two. Then give up altogether.
6) Get carried to bed and tucked in (bless)

Sunday involved getting some sun on the side of a mass of water, then dinner and a movie with him. We ate sushi, which I have grown to like immensely over the last year, ran in the rain, and watched The Devil Wears Prada. Like finally. It was my choice.
And most importantly: he let me drive his car a bit. An Audi A3 with a mofo turbo. I think I came on the seat from the speed and exhilaration of driving my favourite vehicle - breathe on the accelerator and it flies.

Sigh.

But the car experience only accounts for like one sixteenth of my happiness right now. I'm so very happy.

53 comments:

Daedalus said...

Whooohooo!
I am first today!

Daedalus said...

Ertjie,
A3? Hehehe... Complacency will give you that impression. :P

Peas on Toast said...

D-Guy - lol, Pete will be relieved. :)
A3...only like the sexiest A-Class car on the roads...if you take away the Aston Martin, the Ferrari, those kind of cars...
:)

Daedalus said...

One day I'll give you another perspective in a mere 1800 VVTi ;-)
2Lt'rs are overrated.

Somali said...

Morning Peas,

I have heard allot of strange things in my life...

But a ''There is a hairclip attached to your right nipple''

Must be a first for me,

Glad you are having some quality time with your boyfriend!

Enjoy every second!!

tBerry said...

So, was your nipple sore?
I ask this cos I am trying to get someone to bite at the idea of a bluetooth nipple clamp accessory for lady's cell phones. You know, it vibrates when your phone (which is in your handbag, your boot or wherever else girls leave their phones...) rings, so that you can actually answer it when in a noisy place...

Peas on Toast said...

D-Guy - you offering mate? ;)

Somali - Trust me dollface, I never thought I'd wake up with one attached to my boob. It must've been there all night. Dodgy!

Peas on Toast said...

tBerry - lol, brilliant! It was slightly uncomfortable, but it had been there for a good 10 hours or so.

Daytripper said...

A hairclip on your nipple... is that like a Jozi equivelant of a Klingon on the Starboard bow?

Peas on Toast said...

Daytripper - lol, probably. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, you've got hairy nipples????

Billy said...

Happy Monday Peas.
Good to see (read) you so happy. May it last forever!

I had me a out of working class experience on Thursday, found myself dancing like a mad man on a stage in a student pub in Stellenbosch, was terrific! Cant remember anything after that though.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - lol. Not that I can see. :)

Billy - Nice! What were you doing in Stellenbosch dear? On tables and everything, you make me proud!

Pete said...

I waited till 10 this morning so I wouldn't be the first:)

A hair clip on your nipple?! How do you not notice that? I think the approriate Peas0ism is 'bless':)

Daedalus said...

Ertjie,
Yeah I did. ;)

Champagne Heathen said...

And what a skirt that was!!! Def. bordering on belt. And so glittery, you were doing well at making the kugels green with jealousy!

I love the double vision thing. Also just puts me in hysterics.

So you have gone from no sex to full on Sex-With-Kink & tame S&M with nipple clamps!?!

kabintsimbi said...

damn lady...I'm looking for a glittery silver skirt...you know, like that Rhiannon chick wears in that SOS video! Where you get that gold one from? Pls tell...

I hate Jaegermeister...it involved one night of me boasting that I'm a Rhodent & can take on anyone in the room...needless to say I took on the bottle of J & fell over an hour or so later! My bad...but thank god my mom was there to sort me out, make sure I puked & put me in bed all nice & snug as a bug! Will never ever touch that shit again!

Sounds like fun though...

3rm said...

you're just loving throwing this "boyfriend" thing about. you go girl...

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - lol! I didn't notice my nipple clamp because I was so unbelievably out of it..only to wake up and wonder why my boob was sore. :)

D-Guy - yay!!!

Champs - it was short hey? Hectic! No S & M sex, I think E or C attached it at her birthday do, but I can't be too certain about that either...

Kab - yes Jaegies have been the death of me on many an occasion. I managed to get back on the Yaygie-wagon this weekend, and as you can see, it only ended messily! ;)

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - I always hesitate, cos it's so...boyfriendy. But I'm getting used to it now. :) Speaking of which, how's your GIRLFRIEND Pedro? ;)

Pete said...

I can't believe that anyone would be out of it enough to not notice another person clamping a haircliip to their boob, I think you wanted it there:)

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - it's entirely possible I wanted it there mate, but your guess is as good as mine...;)

Pete said...

Weel, then you desrve tender nipples:)

Koekie said...

Crikey... a clip on your nip and Champers is taking on the inhabitants of the Madhatter's girls bathrooms (scary enough without fighting).

What next?!

Insane Insomniac said...

Peas, Peas, Peas,
you never cease to entertain me every orning with your exploits. Things, which, can only be achieved in Jozi.
But, I'm going to rain on your 'nipple clamp' weekend - Last night I went to go watch the kick ass show of My Chemical Romance. Fudgin' A!!

BTW - Kudos to you for having the guts to OWN a gold belt, i mean, mini, let alone wear it!!!

boldly benny said...

Hi Peas
I hear you on the Kreepy Krawler - my sisters terrorised me with it! I was in my late teens before I could dive into the pool when it was on!
Glad to hear you so happy xB

Daedalus said...

Hmpfh!
Kreepy-phobia (it is only a piece of plastic that makes a thudding sound).
Just do not dive into the dang thing.

Goldi said...

Peas, my mondays are incomplete without reading your weekend antics. I currently find my self up the duff, yet feel relived that you are still out there larging it up for us.

3rm said...

peas - yeah, dude. good. real good

Peas on Toast said...

Koekie - if something insane happens, it's gonna happen here babe. :)

Insomniac - My Chemical Romance - noicee babe!

Boldly - wanna join our support group? ;)

D-Guy - dive onto the dang thing? LOL!

Goldi - thanks my dear!

3RM - Glad ot hear it chine. The Ant is baccccckkkk!

James said...

Hey Peas, where are the archives from when your blog was just peasontoast.blogspot.com (rather than mushypeasontoast)? I love your blog – I need more than just a daily fix! I need archives!

Daedalus said...

Ertjie,
Yeah, it hurts... ;)

Peas on Toast said...

James - thanks my dear. :) Archives you have to pay for. Five million dollars should do it. Keen?
Just kidding, my archives are too risque to show, mate. ;)

Daedalus said...

Ertjie,
D can see archives,
how?,
...well, cause D is 50% geek and because he is D

Revolving Credit said...

"But the car experience only accounts for like one sixteenth of my happiness right now. I'm so very happy"

You said that you woke up in your boyfriends bed, in your bikini.

Did he also wakeup in his bed in your bikini?

tBerry said...

And did HE have a hairclip attached anywhere?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - if he'd woken up in my bikini I would've been less than amused. It's a nice bikini that! :)

tBerry - no...although...perhaps next time I'll make him wear one. :)

Crusoe said...

It's obvious, hairclip is code for boyfriend. Replace the words, re-read, and it will all make sense!

Peas on Toast said...

Crusoe - oh you little beefcake, you're brilliant. He's my Um Hairclip. ;)
Bloody perfect! ;)

Daedalus said...

Crusoe, Lucky hairclip then... ;-)

Peas on Toast said...

D-Guy - isn't the hairclip just? ;)

Daedalus said...

Ak!! Now a envy a damn hairclip..

Daedalus said...

I C I X’ed my vowels:
“a envy” = “I envy” LOL!

other-duke said...

hmm, chicks in belts...

(excuse the ignorance, but mandog = manhattan, no?)

i went there and had a problem turning away from the bar for about 20minutes ;)

Crusoe said...

They say that the perfect guy will hold your hair back while you vomit - damn, 'hairclip' is just so apt!

rantman said...

great blog Peas, I like the bitch ranting... says I with a head full of images of your hairclipped right nipple...

Jam said...

What kind of a hairclip? And how could you fail to notice this???
I'm afraid I'm past the belt-skirt phase. *sigh* so unfair.

Peas on Toast said...

D-Guy - bless!

O-D - yip, manhattans can be anything from Manhunt to manwhore to mandogs. Classy joint! ;)

Crusoe - hmmm, the ultimate test: My UM Hairclip holding back my ahir when I park a tiger!

Rantman - thanks dear! Nipple clamps, hot eh? ;)

Jam - One of those clamply ones. :) Yip, perhaps it's time I urf the belt too..but it's so beautifully blingey!!!

Champagne Heathen said...

Aaaah, you CANNOT turf the skirt. If nothing else, you have to able to pass it on to your daughter one day for her to gawk at & think "Oh god, my mom didn't. Did she?!!"

Peas on Toast said...

Lol - do you think she'd find her old mum somewhat de rigeur? ;)

Anonymous said...

Peas, where on earth were you hiding on Friday night. Never saw you at the Hat? Did you have an early night? Is the BF cause for early beds nowadays? DO!

Peas on Toast said...

DO - china! Where were you my boy? Everyone was there, I searched for you in he throbbing crowds, where were you hiding? We left at like 2:00 I think.

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